Problem about fetish and the things it lead.

[delusion]

I'm a young male who always liked to be dominated by woman and had a normal and straight sex life always. The thing I liked when fappin to shems is it's like they look like "dominant women" and I loved that fantasy. I've been jerking off to normal porn too since 5th grade and always liked women but nowadays it's hard for me to get very turned on by normal porn. I watch too many ballbusting vids. But still watch normal porn of brazzers, naughtyamerica etc. from time to time but they don't seem to be very attractive to my anymore which is bad. I never liked looking at shemales before this year too. As I've been masturbating everyday at least once it's hard for me to cum and keep my rock-hard-on in a women's genitalia for too long. I always ejaculate by blowjobs or handjobs. But that wasn't a big problem actually people say it's just about masturbating too much am I right? Or what's going on I used to love women and women body since I was a child and I still love it but that thing that I lived got me a little suspicious, what happened now, those are the things I started asking myself after I've been through this:

Few days ago when I was really drunk I just saw a shem at the street and went to her house. I was really drunk and couldn't get hard, she wasn't hard neither. She just wanted me to suck it but I didn't I just kissed and I refused and moved my head. She slightly try to finger my ass too but I didn't let it for too long too. But right now when I'm thinking I feel disgusted and really fucked up. Shame and disgusting.
And now when I'm sober the images come to my mind one by one and it makes me feel like puking and when I watch straight porn or femdom porn, I see the dicks and remember the moments.

I was always straight but that experience did put me in a little fucked up situation. I wouldn't do it when I'm sober but that kissing and fingering thing makes me wanna puke and I hate it. When I was fapping they were dominant females but when it's real it's not really working and it affects my psychology. What should I do? ( btw I was never and still not attracted to straight or normal men in any manners, not even a moment )

What's going on? It looks like too much bb porn and that fetish of being dominated ruining my life. Am I stop liking girls? Am I turning gay? :(

[iron horse]

I'm a young male who always liked to be dominated by woman and had a normal and straight sex life always. The thing I liked when fappin to shems is it's like they look like "dominant women" and I loved that fantasy. I've been jerking off to normal porn too since 5th grade and always liked women but nowadays it's hard for me to get very turned on by normal porn. I watch too many ballbusting vids. But still watch normal porn of brazzers, naughtyamerica etc. from time to time but they don't seem to be very attractive to my anymore which is bad. I never liked looking at shemales before this year too. As I've been masturbating everyday at least once it's hard for me to cum and keep my rock-hard-on in a women's genitalia for too long. I always ejaculate by blowjobs or handjobs. But that wasn't a big problem actually people say it's just about masturbating too much am I right? Or what's going on I used to love women and women body since I was a child and I still love it but that thing that I lived got me a little suspicious, what happened now, those are the things I started asking myself after I've been through this:

Few days ago when I was really drunk I just saw a shem at the street and went to her house. I was really drunk and couldn't get hard, she wasn't hard neither. She just wanted me to suck it but I didn't I just kissed and I refused and moved my head. She slightly try to finger my ass too but I didn't let it for too long too. But right now when I'm thinking I feel disgusted and really fucked up. Shame and disgusting.
And now when I'm sober the images come to my mind one by one and it makes me feel like puking and when I watch straight porn or femdom porn, I see the dicks and remember the moments.

I was always straight but that experience did put me in a little fucked up situation. I wouldn't do it when I'm sober but that kissing and fingering thing makes me wanna puke and I hate it. When I was fapping they were dominant females but when it's real it's not really working and it affects my psychology. What should I do? ( btw I was never and still not attracted to straight or normal men in any manners, not even a moment )

What's going on? It looks like too much bb porn and that fetish of being dominated ruining my life. Am I stop liking girls? Am I turning gay? :(

I'm sure you'll get a lot of opinions in here. So what it's worth, here's mine.

You are coming to a significant question about your life in general. Where are you going and what do you want? The Internet has opened a tremendous opportunity mankind has never experienced before. Instantaneous quick sexual gratification to any desire. But yes, it can become an obsessive addiction. An addiction is something defined as so over-taking of your life that you cannot function normally. The endorphins we receive (that is your brain shooting glandular "highs" into your bloodstream) when constantly downloading porn and masturbate to it is very addictive.

First, dump any guilt you have about any sexual desire you have. If it hurts others, you must learn to control it. But if not, then it is how nature has made you, and that is nothing you need to let haunt you. If you desire interaction with shem, then that is something to think about without any guilt. Think it through without worrying about what that determines for you. Most importantly, respect yourself. Our sexual desires are created by a complex system of brain activity and hormones beyond our comprehension, and more importantly, beyond our control. We do not create those desires, it is our life experiences and how our brains are wired that determines, neither of which are things we created by design; rather, they are imputed upon us. As long as you don't harm anyone else physically or mentally, you are owed the right to enjoy your existence on this planet while you still have time here. It then comes down to you being the engineer of what you want out of life, and you should contemplate what that is and focus yourself there. But if nature calls you somewhere else, don't let the guilt or self reflection become something that eats away at you. Life is to enjoy, and learn to enjoy it.

And that's my two cents! :)

[delusion]

I'm sure you'll get a lot of opinions in here. So what it's worth, here's mine.

You are coming to a significant question about your life in general. Where are you going and what do you want? The Internet has opened a tremendous opportunity mankind has never experienced before. Instantaneous quick sexual gratification to any desire. But yes, it can become an obsessive addiction. An addiction is something defined as so over-taking of your life that you cannot function normally. The endorphins we receive (that is your brain shooting glandular "highs" into your bloodstream) when constantly downloading porn and masturbate to it is very addictive.

First, dump any guilt you have about any sexual desire you have. If it hurts others, you must learn to control it. But if not, then it is how nature has made you, and that is nothing you need to let haunt you. If you desire interaction with shem, then that is something to think about without any guilt. Think it through without worrying about what that determines for you. Most importantly, respect yourself. Our sexual desires are created by a complex system of brain activity and hormones beyond our comprehension, and more importantly, beyond our control. We do not create those desires, it is our life experiences and how our brains are wired that determines, neither of which are things we created by design; rather, they are imputed upon us. As long as you don't harm anyone else physically or mentally, you are owed the right to enjoy your existence on this planet while you still have time here. It then comes down to you being the engineer of what you want out of life, and you should contemplate what that is and focus yourself there. But if nature calls you somewhere else, don't let the guilt or self reflection become something that eats away at you. Life is to enjoy, and learn to enjoy it.

And that's my two cents! :)

Actually I was way more happier and was making others happier too before all that happened. I used to have completely normal sex without losing erection, I used to watch porns without my fetishes in them. I had ballbusting experiences too which I totally never regret. But right now I feel like I'm losing interest or getting way too unsensitive(my dick too). Been masturbating once or twice a day or even more for years. I was using a SSRI antidepressant pill too and watching too much ballbusting porn. Then this shemale thing came up which destroyed my life. I want to be like ex me again. And this situation makes me remember my failing sexual experiences and gets me even more suspicious.

[dark]

Actually I was way more happier and was making others happier too before all that happened. I used to have completely normal sex without losing erection, I used to watch porns without my fetishes in them. I had ballbusting experiences too which I totally never regret. But right now I feel like I'm losing interest or getting way too unsensitive(my dick too). Been masturbating once or twice a day or even more for years. I was using a SSRI antidepressant pill too and watching too much ballbusting porn. Then this shemale thing came up which destroyed my life. I want to be like ex me again. And this situation makes me remember my failing sexual experiences and gets me even more suspicious.

I like Iron's comment! However let me tell you a personal experience that might help. My turn ons are CFNM and Ballbusting. Even though Upskirts and female booty is a major turn on for me I rarely watch porn with naked women (sounds odd).
a) because it is not a fantasy to have sex with a woman; when I was 16 years old virgin everything that has to do with naked women was a fantasy.
b) There are naked women everywhere: beach, TV adds, newspapers, magazines, night clubs... I still like to watch what I see but I don't have the drive to search for it.

Once I went to holidays with my grandparents. They were advised to have bath in thermal lakes. We stayed in a hotel for one week. All the people there were old. When I came back from holidays I had erections like teenager. I could have erection even when I was watching boobs. So maybe a small escape away from sex, desire, masturbation could help.

Another better but more difficult solution is to find a sexy good-looking girl that really turns you on. I remember I had one that she was so-my-type that I preferred not to masturbate when I was horny and alone so as to have more energy for her when I would meet her again. I was always horny when she was around. I didn't watch any ballbusting video, I didn't masturbate for 1,5 year...

[Alec Anaconda]

You became drunk and did something you now regret.
Only once? We’ve almost all done this, a good few times.
You’ve caused no harm, so chalk it up as experience.

You used to see yourself as one-hundred percent heterosexual, but now you’re not so sure.
Men don’t turn you on, and you feel sick at one little drunken experiment.
Homophobic fits better than gay.

You’re suffering erectile dysfunction and blaming porn.
It’s not called brewer’s droop for nothing! Lay off the booze for a while.

Don’t fret in the present worrying about the past, for that’s the way to ruin a good future.

Alec Anaconda

[delusion]

it's more then one little sick experience because I used to fap to shemales as I told you I see them as "strong and dominant women". but that's completely new and some people told that's because watching too much porn and masturbate a lot.
but as you read my story I used to love pure naked women and that's all I needed to get a hard on or to ejaculate. but the fact that it doesn't mean a lot to me these days make me ask myself what's happening? wtf is going on? etc.
wanna go back to those old days.

[One from the Vaults]

Straight and gay are artificial categories. Don't let them concern you... just do what you like and try not to hurt anyone while you're at it. Especially once transgender stuff comes into play, the categories will just end up confusing you.

[skweezme]

Hi Delusion,

You won't be able to "go back to the old days" in the same ways as they were. I know it sounds trite, but you can never go back to the past. But you can move on to the future.

Over my many years I've had times when I've had sexual and emotional problems and worried that they'd be permanent. They never turned out to be. Life moves on. Things change.

Best wishes

[swollen]

Hey if you tried it and didnt like it, whats to worry about?

Nobody else has to know.

[skipperbob]

Don't try to over think it! It's all crazy and mixed up - what is normal anyway?

[matebe]

Don't try to over think it! It's all crazy and mixed up - what is normal anyway?
That's a good question, i have nothing against it when people love the things they do and they keep it safe.
When they keep it save and they really like the things they do, I have nothing against it :)

[One from the Vaults]

Normal is a statistical term. :-p

[delusion]

Hi Delusion,

You won't be able to "go back to the old days" in the same ways as they were. I know it sounds trite, but you can never go back to the past. But you can move on to the future.

Over my many years I've had times when I've had sexual and emotional problems and worried that they'd be permanent. They never turned out to be. Life moves on. Things change.

Best wishes

I don't think you are right when u say that because they don't match each other man. If my problems are not permanent that totally means I'm going back to the old me.

[delusion]

thank you for your answer man. really helped! tried to stop it for 2 days and now I can easily get turned on by a women's body or pure sexual fantasies but the problem is now it comes to my mind if the "pussy" is disgusting or not? Do I wanna get in to that thing? I usually love handjobs and blowjobs maybe because I got so used to my hand when I'm in pussy I lose my hard on. What do you think?


I like Iron's comment! However let me tell you a personal experience that might help. My turn ons are CFNM and Ballbusting. Even though Upskirts and female booty is a major turn on for me I rarely watch porn with naked women (sounds odd).
a) because it is not a fantasy to have sex with a woman; when I was 16 years old virgin everything that has to do with naked women was a fantasy.
b) There are naked women everywhere: beach, TV adds, newspapers, magazines, night clubs... I still like to watch what I see but I don't have the drive to search for it.

Once I went to holidays with my grandparents. They were advised to have bath in thermal lakes. We stayed in a hotel for one week. All the people there were old. When I came back from holidays I had erections like teenager. I could have erection even when I was watching boobs. So maybe a small escape away from sex, desire, masturbation could help.

Another better but more difficult solution is to find a sexy good-looking girl that really turns you on. I remember I had one that she was so-my-type that I preferred not to masturbate when I was horny and alone so as to have more energy for her when I would meet her again. I was always horny when she was around. I didn't watch any ballbusting video, I didn't masturbate for 1,5 year...

[skweezme]

I don't think you are right when u say that because they don't match each other man. If my problems are not permanent that totally means I'm going back to the old me.

OK we seem to have a language gap here. I ignored "fappin to shems" cos I thought I might eventually get what you're on about. But you lost me with your comment about what not matching what?

[delusion]

OK we seem to have a language gap here. I ignored "fappin to shems" cos I thought I might eventually get what you're on about. But you lost me with your comment about what not matching what?


the problem is, I always liked and adored women body since I was a little kid and straight normal porn was enough for me all the time. I just had a few long term relationships and it was like that at them too.
other then that at casual sex with random women I always fucked them for a long time then came with their handjobs except some exceptions.
and after I started to watch domination, femdom, ballbusting movies too much I lost my interest to normal straight porn but never lost my interest to women body. Then last year I developed a fantasy with shemales because I see them as "strong women" and I like female domination and I had an experience which I totally did regret and found out it should stay as a fantasy(maybe like scat should stay as a fantasy)

these days my problem is I'm afraid I'm losing my erection during sex and pure sex without fantasies or domination doesn't turn me on like it used to do. or I am afraid of losing my interest to women body. sometimes I think some vaginas are disgusting or I feel like I think that because I'm too suspicious. I was never attracted by a man or body of a man. Not even slightly. I don't watch too much normal straight porn neither.
I feel uncomfortable about all that.

[dark]

thank you for your answer man. really helped! tried to stop it for 2 days and now I can easily get turned on by a women's body or pure sexual fantasies but the problem is now it comes to my mind if the "pussy" is disgusting or not? Do I wanna get in to that thing? I usually love handjobs and blowjobs maybe because I got so used to my hand when I'm in pussy I lose my hard on. What do you think?

I am glad that I helped. I would suggest to take a bigger break. A trip in the nature is always good. Let's say 4-5 days in a place without porn and naked women it will raise your libido. Your natural predator instinct will come back and when your girl will bend showing her ass to you then your brain and cock will do the job. If you get a blowjob or a handjob in the foreplay that's cool. However try to decrease the foreplay time. I'm a big fan of blowjobs and handjobs (who isn't) but I realised that if the girls play for long with it I get tired when it comes to actual sex and often lose erection. Till you get really hard while you are "in" you can visualise things like when you masturbate without any imagery. If you take drugs, drink or smoke try to decrease it. If you are not exercising, try to find some time for the gym. A lot of things can effect your erection.

I am not sure how to change your perspective on pussy. Genitalia are not the most attractive part for both sexes ( as admitted by the opposite sexes). Try a position that you don't see the pussy (doggie style), or let her wear her thong while having sex.
Best of luck!

[Alec Anaconda]

Alec Anaconda

[delusion]

Yeah I suppose I have to take a bigger break because when I'm back at porn I get confused. By the way I take drugs, dring and I do smoke. I will try to decrease them too. I'm not going to gym for too long. Actually there were times I used to love even licking pussy when I'm with my girlfriend (used to love 69). but these days when I'm watching porn pussy isn't the first place I look at. and about shemales being dominant women, their dicks where at my fantasy when I was watching porn. but normal looking men never did anything for me. I guess shemale thing was about watching too much porn coz I used to find it disgusting even to look at, when I experienced I realised it had to stay as a fantasy because I don't mean to sound homophobic but I have nothing to do with men and even being bi is not my thing. That shemale thing seems complicated right now that I used to look at them dominating man and their dicks made them look dominant.

After all I don't want my sex life to be all about being dominated by women but at last past times it seemed like that. and somethings had to stay as a fantasy probably. still confused.


I am glad that I helped. I would suggest to take a bigger break. A trip in the nature is always good. Let's say 4-5 days in a place without porn and naked women it will raise your libido. Your natural predator instinct will come back and when your girl will bend showing her ass to you then your brain and cock will do the job. If you get a blowjob or a handjob in the foreplay that's cool. However try to decrease the foreplay time. I'm a big fan of blowjobs and handjobs (who isn't) but I realised that if the girls play for long with it I get tired when it comes to actual sex and often lose erection. Till you get really hard while you are "in" you can visualise things like when you masturbate without any imagery. If you take drugs, drink or smoke try to decrease it. If you are not exercising, try to find some time for the gym. A lot of things can effect your erection.

I am not sure how to change your perspective on pussy. Genitalia are not the most attractive part for both sexes ( as admitted by the opposite sexes). Try a position that you don't see the pussy (doggie style), or let her wear her thong while having sex.
Best of luck!

[One from the Vaults]

Sexuality and gender, though linked, are not inextricably linked, and there are many permutations. For example, it's extremely common for men to find their genitals fascinating. Sometimes this amounts to the levels of a fetish, where his own genitals become his primary source of attraction. When he sees something on somebody else that reminds him of his, he gets very excited... however he may well be totally straight, and the idea of doing something with a guy is a complete boner-kill.

Luckily for him, some girls have penises. The important thing is that he not treat her as if she were "really" a man, because that undercuts her identity and makes her feel bad, while also making you feel guilty. You'd both be much happier if you accepted her actual gender.

The body does not provide access to unmediated truth... getting hard to "a trap" doesn't make somebody gay, nor does wanting to have a loving and sexual relationship with a woman who has a penis. It means you like women... and also your own junk, even if it happens to be on somebody else.

[delusion]

Sexuality and gender, though linked, are not inextricably linked, and there are many permutations. For example, it's extremely common for men to find their genitals fascinating. Sometimes this amounts to the levels of a fetish, where his own genitals become his primary source of attraction. When he sees something on somebody else that reminds him of his, he gets very excited... however he may well be totally straight, and the idea of doing something with a guy is a complete boner-kill.

Luckily for him, some girls have penises. The important thing is that he not treat her as if she were "really" a man, because that undercuts her identity and makes her feel bad, while also making you feel guilty. You'd both be much happier if you accepted her actual gender.

The body does not provide access to unmediated truth... getting hard to "a trap" doesn't make somebody gay, nor does wanting to have a loving and sexual relationship with a woman who has a penis. It means you like women... and also your own junk, even if it happens to be on somebody else.

thank you for clearing that up. it was a nice post.
to be honest for like 4-5 days I've been thinking too much about this topic and I got too confused. Today I even checked gay porns to understand if it gives me hard on and at some points I felt like I will get hard or something, in my life I never did and when I did see gay porn in any conditions I was usually getting disgusted and today I'm testing myself. damn. I think this shit is becoming obsession, too many things to think and can't clear it up.

anybody wants to help, please check my all posts in this topic. thank you.

thank you everybody who tried to help, appreciated.

[stman]

thank you for clearing that up. it was a nice post.
to be honest for like 4-5 days I've been thinking too much about this topic and I got too confused. Today I even checked gay porns to understand if it gives me hard on and at some points I felt like I will get hard or something, in my life I never did and when I did see gay porn in any conditions I was usually getting disgusted and today I'm testing myself. damn. I think this shit is becoming obsession, too many things to think and can't clear it up.

anybody wants to help, please check my all posts in this topic. thank you.

thank you everybody who tried to help, appreciated.

The technical definition of an obsession in psychology is 'unwanted thoughts' that you can't get rid of. The more you worry about having these thoughts, the more of a problem they will become. Modern therapy typically teaches people to accept and deal with their fetishes and kinks. When you are calm and rational about something, it's amazing how much clearer your thinking becomes, and how less prone you will be to fly off the handle about it.

I'm saying this to you only because I wasted about 10 years of my life feeling guilty because I couldn't be aroused by heteronormativity. Once I just accepted the fact that masochism is a part of my essence and got on with my life, made friends I could talk about this stuff with, everything got so much better.

By the way it is normal for people to think kinky thoughts during sex. Lots and lots of people have fetishes to varying degrees. "Normal" is something put out by super reactionary types and the reason they are so reactionary is because they are suppressing themselves. (If you ever want to meet kinky girls, go to church.. seriously). If you learn to just enjoy your fetish and quit worrying about it, once the worrying stops you might be surprised at the creative ways you wind up enjoying sex or combining it with your fetish sometimes.

It feels to me like the real issue you are facing is that you think there is something inherently wrong with your sexuality. To use a metaphor, you've opened a door you can't close, you've learned something about yourself you can't unlearn. Repressing yourself is a recipe for misery and a midlife crisis! Who can fully enjoy sex when they are all up in knots inside? Why would you think there's anything wrong with being turned on by female domination? Why would you be disturbed if you found out you were just a bit queer?

If you're ultimately worried that you won't find the 'right' partner, well, vanilla or not, finding a good relationship is always difficult, for everyone. Self-knowledge and confidence goes a long way in finding a good partner though.

anyway all i'm really trying to say is stop worrying and enjoy your life. perhaps you can look at what's going on right now as an exciting period of learning new things about yourself, rather than something to be afraid of. just my 2 cents

[delusion]

the problem is getting out of "heteronormativity".
I've always loved women all my life and even when it comes to this fetish, it was the expression of how much I love them and how strong they are.
but watching too much domination and fetish porn nonstop for 4-5 years and masturbating to it got me searching for more and more porn. straight sex was coming after ballbusting for me after sometime.
and after all that porn I found myself looking at shemale porn which gives me doubts about my "heterosexuality". not that being gay is a bad thing, I just never liked men whole my life but right now the point is getting to "what if?" I will start to like them.
at the end of the day I never liked shemales or looked at shemale porn before but right now from time to time I like fapping to shemale porn because I see them as dominant women. and that gets me scared about losing my interest to women and straight sex.
I tried ballbusting with my girlfriends I even had a session with a prodomme, I never did regret any of them.
but the experience with a shemale, I really did regret it and it caused too much problem in my life and sometimes I think like what if I wanna do it again?
maybe it had to stay as a fantasy, maybe it's because of too much porn I started watching too many sick things and nasty stuff.
all this got me so confused. all I know is I can still masturbate to straight porn and normal women but when it comes to relationship I get turned on hardly. or when I get turned on I lose my erection sometimes. maybe because of too much porn and the unsensitivity both mentally and phsyically.



The technical definition of an obsession in psychology is 'unwanted thoughts' that you can't get rid of. The more you worry about having these thoughts, the more of a problem they will become. Modern therapy typically teaches people to accept and deal with their fetishes and kinks. When you are calm and rational about something, it's amazing how much clearer your thinking becomes, and how less prone you will be to fly off the handle about it.

I'm saying this to you only because I wasted about 10 years of my life feeling guilty because I couldn't be aroused by heteronormativity. Once I just accepted the fact that masochism is a part of my essence and got on with my life, made friends I could talk about this stuff with, everything got so much better.

By the way it is normal for people to think kinky thoughts during sex. Lots and lots of people have fetishes to varying degrees. "Normal" is something put out by super reactionary types and the reason they are so reactionary is because they are suppressing themselves. (If you ever want to meet kinky girls, go to church.. seriously). If you learn to just enjoy your fetish and quit worrying about it, once the worrying stops you might be surprised at the creative ways you wind up enjoying sex or combining it with your fetish sometimes.

It feels to me like the real issue you are facing is that you think there is something inherently wrong with your sexuality. To use a metaphor, you've opened a door you can't close, you've learned something about yourself you can't unlearn. Repressing yourself is a recipe for misery and a midlife crisis! Who can fully enjoy sex when they are all up in knots inside? Why would you think there's anything wrong with being turned on by female domination? Why would you be disturbed if you found out you were just a bit queer?

If you're ultimately worried that you won't find the 'right' partner, well, vanilla or not, finding a good relationship is always difficult, for everyone. Self-knowledge and confidence goes a long way in finding a good partner though.

anyway all i'm really trying to say is stop worrying and enjoy your life. perhaps you can look at what's going on right now as an exciting period of learning new things about yourself, rather than something to be afraid of. just my 2 cents

[zetsubou]

I think any of us who drink have probably done things we greatly regret. Whether its kissing a best friend, starting a fight, or going to sleep in a holly bush. Or much crazier ! The thing is ... it's well known that drinking impairs judgement. I don't think you can take how you act when drunk to define who you are. If you're so disgusted, stop drinking ! You won't be turned on by shemales anymore ! Unless they're really so hot that you don't realise, or you're bisexual. Which to be honest doesn't matter.

Btw - I don't think finding the idea of gay sex disgusting is the same as being homophobic. I'd imagine people who decide to be gay (not bi), also find heterosexual sex to sound unpleasant.

It's like aubergines. I hate them. Doesn't mean I care if you eat them though.

For me, pussy looks a bit insane to be honest.

Look at the example! I don't want to go in there lol !! But I don't like guys either. I experimented once when I was younger because I was told, try in case you do like it !!! I didn't.

Like watching a hot girl giving a HJ. A foot job. Or busting. Or tease and denial.. and plenty more but that... blehhh . Just look at one and consider for a moment. Seriously, evolution is bonkers if thats the best it could come up with!!

[Balloney]

You need to stop watching porn. Get a wife so you can get the real thing on a regular basis instead of masturbation and porn. It's a lot better. Porn can desensitize you to the real thing.

Turning gay is not a good thing. You never hear anyone say, "I was so glad to find out I was gay." No, it's always shame and confusion. It's basic biology. We are made to reproduce. There is a reason the gay thing is disgusting to most guys.

You could go talk to a preacher or someone about how to get rid of this guilt. Some churches have programs for porn addicts.

[stman]

There's nothing wrong with discovering you have aspects of your sexuality yet to be discovered. There's nothing wrong with being queer, the only reason people are unhappy when they come out is because of the stigma they face. But I do agree that you are watching too much porn. When something becomes that unpleasant and nerve-wracking, it's not good. Addictions and obsessions make people unhappy. Repression makes people unhappy. You don't have to be miserable and worried.

I do agree that you need to find other hobbies and interests aside from porn. Meet real people and have relationships. Stop worrying about your persuasion (easier said than done). To help you deal with your worries you might find therapy really beneficial (not a dis or an insult... I Think everyone can benefit from therapy) but don't see just anyone, find a knowledgable queer-friendly therapist (as more traditional therapists will simply attack you based on your fetishes, without any scientific evidence to back them up). Fetlife has tons of lists of such therapists listed and is a great place to start. You need to meet like-minded people you can get to know in real life, so why not meet people in your local kink community?

Here's an example of queer and kink-friendly therapy.. I highly recommend reading through this site!

http://www.ipgcounseling.com/other_services.html

[One from the Vaults]

I love how you can tell what country somebody is by their views on the subject. Note the firm Canada/US divide. :-p

[BeatMyBallsHard]

It is easy to watch too much porn & get detached from reality a bit - going harder & harder.

Even with a dom partner it's easy to get too hard. I used to do ballbusting filming with my ex, & we stayed together for many years after we should have split up - the BB was the only good thing left!

Now I'm with a more vanilla girl, she bites my nuts & gives me a few kicks but doesn't actually want to damage me, which is nice, & I'm much happier.

I got caught up in the extreme sides for a while! Easily done....

(you can see some of my old stuff below)

[obedientesticle]

The technical definition of an obsession in psychology is 'unwanted thoughts' that you can't get rid of.... Modern therapy typically teaches people to accept and deal with their fetishes and kinks... ...Once I just accepted the fact that masochism is a part of my essence and got on with my life, made friends I could talk about this stuff with, everything got so much better.... ...By the way it is normal for people to think kinky thoughts during sex. ..."Normal" is something put out by super reactionary types and the reason they are so reactionary is because they are suppressing themselves...

...(If you ever want to meet kinky girls, go to church.. seriously)....

...To use a metaphor, you've opened a door you can't close... ...Who can fully enjoy sex when they are all up in knots inside? ... Self-knowledge and confidence goes a long way in finding a good partner though... ...perhaps you can look at what's going on right now as an exciting period of learning new things about yourself, rather than something to be afraid of. just my 2 cents

I think, it is not all so easy, but a very good, clear analyzing comment for orientation, congratulations, stman!

[obedientesticle]

You need to stop watching porn. Get a wife so you can get the real thing on a regular basis instead of masturbation and porn. It's a lot better. Porn can desensitize you to the real thing.

Turning gay is not a good thing. You never hear anyone say, "I was so glad to find out I was gay." No, it's always shame and confusion. It's basic biology. We are made to reproduce. There is a reason the gay thing is disgusting to most guys.

You could go talk to a preacher or someone about how to get rid of this guilt. Some churches have programs for porn addicts.

I do not agree with your too religious conservative way of looking at the problem, I'm more with stman in the judgement.

BUT: For the "therapy" I partly agree - though you won't be able to turn time back and perfectly close the door you've opened, just try to pause and don't touch fetish or any porn for a while, maybe even do not masturbate until it really comes easy - and then try to "reprogram" your brain using a bit more vanilla porn or better: a loving female with a relaxed warm sexuality, if you can get one.

It seems to me that its just like one of those femdom and female superiority idea really succeeded in you: You ARE mindfucked by femdom porn, you ARE virtually *********! This is actually the goal of REAL feminist female superiority femdom - so either submit (and maybe become a REAL slave) or do something about it, if you can't discriminate for yourself anymore what is only fetish and what is real submission, maybe being broken by femdom porn.