Trying to understand my femdom ********** fantasies and fetishes

[Castratrix's pet]

I am trying to understand my femdom ********** fantasies and fetishes. I'm not someone who can just lie back and enjoy. I have to analyze, I have to understand. Not only where did they come from and why do I have them, but also, what am I searching for through them. There is something deeply spiritual about them to me and I have always felt there is something I'm searching for through them, something a lot deeper than just sexual pleasure.

I believe in reincarnation. I also believe we bring bagage into this lifetime, and sometimes a lot of baggage, from past lifetimes. I am wondering if my femdom ********** fantasies are because of something in a past lifetime or perhaps past lifetimes plural. Somehow that idea makes sense to me. I'm not sure what in those past lifetimes but that idea makes sense and feels comfortable to me.

I am also wondering if a tendency toward female domination both in submissive men as well as in dominant women comes from something in a past lifetime or perhaps in a number of past lifetimes.

I would appreciate any feedback and thoughts and insights anyone else here might have on this idea.

[dzwitch]

I was very concerned after reading this post so I decided to visit a witch. Unfortunately she was unable to foresee the future and see the past. Instead, she told me she was really interested in kicking my balls. I decided not to ask further questions, I just opened my legs and closed my eyes.

My balls need a reincarnation today, or may be ice.

[One from the Vaults]

Simplest explanation is that it's a manifestation of what psychoanalysts call the "death impulse." That is, on some level you want to be destroyed. Some psychologists would propose that this is true for all of us, but to varying extents, and manifesting in varying ways. For you evidently it has a central place within your conscious experience, whereas for others it might be pretty subtle.

In terms of spirituality, this ties in with the notion of ego-death, dissolution and cosmic union. Through death, you can be reborn. By releasing and surrendering, you can become free. By offering up a symbol of your vital essence, willing for it to be taken away, you express the willingness to be destroyed which is a prerequisite of transcendence.

Another possibility is that it's the result of some kind of repression. That is, some aspect of yourself has been repressed, and that repression has manifested in this way with some of the charge "bubbling up" and taking this form.

A Freudian approach might be to look at your early childhood for the "first instance" of this feeling, and to see what it's associated with. Probably something to do with your mother. Were you spanked?

Another way might be to investigate how you perceive the divine feminine, perhaps by engaging with different religious representations of goddesses to see which resonate for you.