Trouble
09-16-2004, 07:05 PM
Being the sort who does much research into the busting of balls, I come across some arguments that never seem to go away. Here, I hope, i shall dispense with the frivolous notion that childbirth is as bad as getting busted:
1. I never hear of women puking up their guts from the pain of childbirth; I say, "Suck it up, ladies! It's not like getting kneed in the nuts!"
2. I never hear of women giving birth more than once a year (except for a couple I know which were very fertile and defiant of the doctor's orders); whereas, some of us got busted much more often than that while in a) school, b) in a relationship with any woman (the unstated clause of which is that you give your girlfriend permission to kick the sperm out of your pants if you do anything even remotly naughty like, say, sleeping with her sister), and/or c) every time we talk to a woman who is pissed off and asK, "Your time of the month, hunh?" For example, a nice, decent guy in high school who sleeps with his girlfirned's sister and when she confronts him about it asks if she's on the rag can, reasonably, exprct to get kicked in the ball at least three times that very day! To all the women who bawl about the pain of childbirth, I say: "Try dropping as many kids as the average jerk gets kneed. THEN let's talk about compaing pain."
3. After childbirth, women rarely have the reaction that they stop talking to anyone of the opposite sex for the next year. On the other hand, that is the common reaction of normal men (and by "normal" I mean men other than those on this board) to receiving a foot to the genitals. To the women who yet whine about the pain of childbirth, I say: "Have some balls and get over it."
4. In Tae Kwan Do, there is a nut punch; there is no blow that ****** a woman to conceive a child and bear the sucker on the spot. Other martial arts similarly are not well-disposed toward the testicles, yet they do not seek to exploit childbirth. To all the women who bemoan the pain of childbirth, I say: "Aw, come on! Have YOU ever been punched in the nutsack by a woman TKD instructor in a parking lot outside of Wal*Mart while trying to push her into -- never mind."
5. After childbirth, women get rewarded with a kid. After a ballbust, men get to practice Writhing On The Floor 101 (a class that is mandatory for boys, but not girls -- how fair is THAT?). So, you "men-could-not-take-the-pain-of-childbirth" stumpers, I say to you this: "Sure, childbirth hurts a little, but you get a slimey brand new rugrat out of the deal, and the joy of seeing the ugly little sucker (who is beautiful to YOU and no-one else; we were all fibbing) helps relieve the pain."
In conclusion whereof: women -- what a bunch of mothers!
On the other hand, it is a well-established fact that ramming a knee into an unprotected male crotch is an effective teaching aid. As an example, shout, "The most commonly spoken language in the Phillipines is Tagalog!" the next time you kick a guy in the groin -- I guarantee you, he will not forget it.
1. I never hear of women puking up their guts from the pain of childbirth; I say, "Suck it up, ladies! It's not like getting kneed in the nuts!"
2. I never hear of women giving birth more than once a year (except for a couple I know which were very fertile and defiant of the doctor's orders); whereas, some of us got busted much more often than that while in a) school, b) in a relationship with any woman (the unstated clause of which is that you give your girlfriend permission to kick the sperm out of your pants if you do anything even remotly naughty like, say, sleeping with her sister), and/or c) every time we talk to a woman who is pissed off and asK, "Your time of the month, hunh?" For example, a nice, decent guy in high school who sleeps with his girlfirned's sister and when she confronts him about it asks if she's on the rag can, reasonably, exprct to get kicked in the ball at least three times that very day! To all the women who bawl about the pain of childbirth, I say: "Try dropping as many kids as the average jerk gets kneed. THEN let's talk about compaing pain."
3. After childbirth, women rarely have the reaction that they stop talking to anyone of the opposite sex for the next year. On the other hand, that is the common reaction of normal men (and by "normal" I mean men other than those on this board) to receiving a foot to the genitals. To the women who yet whine about the pain of childbirth, I say: "Have some balls and get over it."
4. In Tae Kwan Do, there is a nut punch; there is no blow that ****** a woman to conceive a child and bear the sucker on the spot. Other martial arts similarly are not well-disposed toward the testicles, yet they do not seek to exploit childbirth. To all the women who bemoan the pain of childbirth, I say: "Aw, come on! Have YOU ever been punched in the nutsack by a woman TKD instructor in a parking lot outside of Wal*Mart while trying to push her into -- never mind."
5. After childbirth, women get rewarded with a kid. After a ballbust, men get to practice Writhing On The Floor 101 (a class that is mandatory for boys, but not girls -- how fair is THAT?). So, you "men-could-not-take-the-pain-of-childbirth" stumpers, I say to you this: "Sure, childbirth hurts a little, but you get a slimey brand new rugrat out of the deal, and the joy of seeing the ugly little sucker (who is beautiful to YOU and no-one else; we were all fibbing) helps relieve the pain."
In conclusion whereof: women -- what a bunch of mothers!
On the other hand, it is a well-established fact that ramming a knee into an unprotected male crotch is an effective teaching aid. As an example, shout, "The most commonly spoken language in the Phillipines is Tagalog!" the next time you kick a guy in the groin -- I guarantee you, he will not forget it.