erection probs

[pecs]

I have been living alone now for 4 years after splitting with my wife. I really enjoy this site and others like it and find reading other members contrabutions and looking at the various sexy bb clips and pics very arousing, so, basicaly, I know there is nothing phisically wrong with me.

However when ever I am with a woman expecting sex I just can't get an erection. Anyone else experience anything like this and find a way around it?

...help needed please!

[Julie18nz]

I have been living alone now for 4 years after splitting with my wife. I really enjoy this site and others like it and find reading other members contrabutions and looking at the various sexy bb clips and pics very arousing, so, basicaly, I know there is nothing phisically wrong with me.

However when ever I am with a woman expecting sex I just can't get an erection. Anyone else experience anything like this and find a way around it?

...help needed please!

Hi, being a girl, I dont experience erection problmes but do know that is must feel very disturbing not to be able to get one when u most need one :( I do know that the more you worry about it the worse it will get. (Minor in psyc at Uni) THe best I can off is not to worry about it and, if possible, not to even think about it when with a woman. If this is no help, then u need to seek out professional help :)

Julie

[murphy]

Hey man, I know this is a sensitive issue, so I'll be brief. I used to have the same problem, so what I did, was I stopped masturbating for several days....I mean no sites like this, for sure! These sites are really only good for one thing...see, in my experience, I've noticed that if you expect too much of a woman, 9 times out of 10 she can't deliver. And, going to these sites make people want what these hotties are giving to the guys on these sites. So, my advice to you is to lay off sites like these, and for the god's sakes, don't masturbate. Some people trick themselves into thinking that just because they aren't looking at online shit, that they can think the exact same thoughts and get away with it--don't do it. Deprive yourself of what you want and it'll pay off.

Take it EASY.

[Julie18nz]

Hi again :)

If I was you, I would just go see a doctor. Any advice you get on boards like this, MINE included, is from people who dont really know what we are really talking about. How many times u masturbate has no relation to how often you get an erection. If that was the case then my bf would be in a hell of a lot of trouble :p What denile CAN do is make you reach orgasm WAY too fast :( No fun for YOU or HER.

So, as I said, go see a doctor and if its not a phsyical problem, then they will point you in the right direction to get the psycological help that is required :)

Julie :bananad:

[Trouble]

Here is ANOTHER free opinion, and worth every penny:

I am willing to bet my left nut (provided Julie gets to decide how to extract it if I lose the bet) that you loved your wife. It's why people get married, no?

I have trouble getting hard for women I do not love. Or, rather, I have trouble maintaining an erection for women for whom I do not have loving feelings and/or who do not express any feelings for me.

If you are accustomed to:

1) Having sex with a caring person, which makes for an incredibly rewarding sexual experience (sadly ending four years ago); and
2) Mr. Right Hand since then (and yah DO love yerself, right? Mmmmmm, Yeah, Makes for a fun evening, dunnit?); then

Other women can't live up to either the fantasies that erotica like on this board can produce OR to the experiences you have known in the past. So SHE can't live up to expectations, and if she can't, then you are dooming yourself.

Although I am NOT a physician and have no degree in anything (well, Lingua Latina, Cursum Perfecti, but how useless is THAT???), but I suggest NOT seeing a Doctor, because they tend to prescribe medication for everything, which is exactly what most people in the world do not need more of. Not to go Tom Cruise on everybody, but everybody here, well, except Julie, is perfectly normal (not that I do not love you with all the love passion my right nut has to offer, Julie).Don't let performance anxiety be the death of your sex life: pressure yourself not at all, and that goes for your partner, as well.

[Inqy]

Hi pecs,
I can sympathize. I guess what you’re saying is that you don’t get the problem until you’re with a woman, right? (i.e. that the problem is with your head). Have you ever tried Viagra or similar? If not, and you’re able to take it, then it’ll probably do the trick for you. Once you’re over the psychological barrier you’ll quickly be able to wean yourself off it and hump like a bunny.

While I’ve not suffered erectile problems, I have found that as I get older the thought of vanilla sex gets less and less appealing. Basically, I find myself needing more and more ‘kink’ in order to get off good. I worry that this can only be a one way process and that it will not be long afore I’m as pervy as Julie! :eek:

Trouble is talking a lot of sense above too (now there’s a rarity). Julie's right too as I masterbate at least 6 times a day. Yep, the cats outa the bag - inqy is a big wanker!

Good luck pecs,
Inq

[pecs]

Thanks for all the advice people. I can tell that much thought has gone into your replys...

Trouble seems to have hit the nail on the head I think.

...all good advice by the sound of it though. Not quite sure what which way to go just yet but will prob get some Viagra or simular as I don't want to let the lady down again. Anybody here tryed any of there drugs that a on a sale all over the web?

Thanks again.

[Inq]

Hi pecs,
It’d be safest if you went to your GP (Julie’s right on that one too) as these meds are not for everybody. I know it’s a big step to take but it won’t seem such a big deal after the event. Your GP will have come across impotency many times before (about 1/3 men suffer at some time or other). They will also be aware of how important it is to you and will sort you out in whatever way is best :)
It’ll all be fine. :) Just be careful.
Take care,
Inq

PS. Pump in a squirt for me ;)

[pecs]

good advice... appointment tomorrow 9:40am

[Magnum]

OK, my 2 cents. I know for years I was so emabarrassed about what I liked it was hard for me to feel comfortable around gals who were one nighters and new girlfriends. I was somewhat shamed even and gals sometimes have a habbit of giggling when you tell them you like being kicked in the nuts, and that can be devastating for some (like I was) because I was already embarrassed. I don't know how old you are (I'm 41) but I don't get all red in the face anymore. Everyone has some kind of kink or quirk so I figure mine isn't any worse and most gals I have ever been with didn't think it was bad, just different. Anyway, that was more like 2 dollars rather than 2 cents but what can I say. Oh, and one more thing, I too have less interest in the vanilla than I used to, or rather it takes a little more kink to ready me for the vanilla.

[Inqy]

good advice... appointment tomorrow 9:40amGood luck pecs. I hope it went well. :)

[jonnyk75]

Hey Pecs,

I second murphy; no more ballbusting sites for a while. Also, I would recommend you look at some female bondage sites. (www.insex.com) Doing this might help you become more savage and aggressive in bed. :) Don't get me wrong, it's still a big turn on to be submissive and victimized. However, some of the images on ballbusting sites can hurt your initiative or confidence. Most women enjoy being manhandled, at first at least. Show her who da man is. Then when you become more comfortable together, introduce your fetish. But don't ever let go of your masculinity. That's just my suggestion.

[tonyr]

I have been living alone now for 4 years after splitting with my wife. I really enjoy this site and others like it and find reading other members contrabutions and looking at the various sexy bb clips and pics very arousing, so, basicaly, I know there is nothing phisically wrong with me.

However when ever I am with a woman expecting sex I just can't get an erection. Anyone else experience anything like this and find a way around it?

...help needed please!
Once it is not being caused by a medical condition, check it out with a physician, then chill out, relax, and re-build one's life and confidence. Perhaps its something deep within the mind, but don't visit no shrink. Check out your diet and excercise if you don't allready. Most of all, be you and be in what ever you are into. If a companion can't understand or is unwilling to flow with you, then they are not the person for you. If a woman giggles at your revelation of being into ballbusting, the giggle is not negative. Women that I have revealed this to often giggle. It is rarely negative. Chill out and enjoy life, ballbusting and beyond. More women like to dominate that men would ever like to admit. You can be hot for lady and it does happen on the night, is that the end of the world, NO!!! If she gets ignorant about it, then she is just not the one, just like if a man gets ignorant about a woman not being in the mood, he's not the one. Be wary of visiting some Fraudian Freud expert, they are the one's whom need psychological help, their hypocrites working to an hidden agenda. The only good one was Wilheim Reich, and they did him wrong when he was alive and still are doing wrong years after his death.
RELAX
RELAX and forget about it once it isn't a medical situation.

[John P]

Easily said Tony but drugs can be very useful when it comes to rebuilding confidence. I went into a severe depression following an accident that left me very smashed up. Even when I was on my feet again I still felt low. A 2-month course of anti-depressants helped me change my lifestyle and see the world differently. I’ve had no problems since and have not needed medication.

I also suffered some problems with ‘johnson’ as a result of it all. Sleeping with somebody for the first time is a big deal for me and johnson let me down a couple of times after the accident (making me even more depressed). Viagra helped me by helping johnson. Once I’d got over the ‘fear of failure’ I didn’t need the meds again. I’ve been good for two years now.

Both these problems were in my head but trying to ‘relax’ didn’t help. See the medics pecs and good luck. You are not alone.

[tonyr]

Points appreciated JohnP you and he are certainly not alone with regards to this issue. I pay a lot of attention to the legalised narcotics business and to the legalised, come and let me explore you problems business. Nice to see that you've survived and I wish the very best for PECS an any one else whom has ever experienced this.

[pecs]

Guys... Thank you! I am so touched by the all the help you are giving me here.

Well, had a chat to my Doc. He just wanted to print me off a perscription for Viagra (for £10) + another £25 for 4 x 25mg. Bit of a rip off I thought so went and ordered my own on the web... £6 for 6 X 100mg!

The lady was so very sweet about the problem and we kissed and cuddled for hours which was lovely. It was our second meeting and when she took me to bed it was quite a suprise. I get the feeling that she is into some kinky stuff too but at such an eary stage we have both been too shy to talk about our fetishes. I will keep you posted though when we start getting up to some bb. Its the least I can do for all your help... Thanks again!

[Guitar Man]

good to see that you went to your doctor. there are many (most, actually), that would not, due to their "male pride". I doff my hat to your courage!

[Magnum]

The kinkier the better. I can tell you that exploring each others kinks for the first time can be an incredible rush. Have fun.

[toughtony]

don't want to beat a dead horse but assuming that you can get it hard when you are alone then it soulds like performance anxiety. I had it. Mainly a self-confidence issue. The feeling that some other guy could do better or that she has had others and expects johnny holmes. Your best bet is to be upfront with your partner and explain that big johnny gets nervous. an understanding mate will take it her hand or mouth and have a ton of fun. but yes, it is tough to drop your pants and start sticking johnny into things for some men - unless you are a sailor at port in Thialand. what works for me is to go down on her for a long time and after she is pleased many times then you slip in and it should be really easy by then. take care of her needs first. I would avoid drugs and use as a last resort when i'm 80 years old perhaps. just as in baseball, you shouldn't have to rely on the juice to hit a homer. Also did you know that when you look at your peter from your angle that it always looks smaller? look in the mirror - it's bigger. Also notice if you look at someone elses pee stream at the urinal it looks huge and yours looks skinny. its because of the angle, you are looking at the long end of your stream.

[Guitar Man]

please don't post anything like that ever again.

[pecs]

hehe... yes guitar man, he did get a bit carried away there but he talks sense too.

It has to be performance anxiety as toughtony says.

I was totaly open with her and explaind that it was not because i didn't find her atractive and all. Just goes to show you how sensitive a blokes sexual responce can be eh?

[powerslave]

You could try wearing a Cock ring just before sex (say during foreplay). Use the snap on leather ones or perhaps the more elegant and visually appealing titanium ones.

Cock Rings (http://www.eros-guide.com/articles/2005-03-01/gearessentials/)

They certainly add to the kink factor and are usually an added turn on for the girls. As long as they are not tight (so as to cut of circulation) they can be worn on a semi permanent basis. Basically they should hug your penis and scrotum when your flacid and should help to engorge your penis to a larger degree than normal when erect. The added benefit is that your penis will seem a lot more harder.

HTH :)