testiclats
06-18-2006, 01:58 AM
Edit: this turned out to be a long post but I need your advice so please read it! I didn't know who else to ask, you guys are kind of in the same boat as me, so I figured you might have advice for me!
Well, I have wondered why ballbusting gets me off, it worries me. I wonder if I can live a normal life and get married and have kids... I want a happy marriage with kids, how can I do that if I want a woman who wants to crush my nuts? lol... it doesn't make sense does it?
Well, I didn't know how to make sense of it so I went to see a psychologist. This is a psychologist who also specializes in sexual therapy for couples, and working with sexual hang-ups so I figured she would be better suited to handle this touchy issue, not some regular stuffy psychologist. Anyway, I told her about my childhood growing up with all sisters, none of them ever busted my balls but maybe being the youngest child with all sisters had something to do with it?
I also told her about how in 6th grade I saw a scene in some movie where a girl kicks a guy in the nuts, and he says "you crushed my balls!" and how it scared me... Did she really crush and destroy his balls? Also how in 6th grade my best friend's sister was a very mean ballbuster, she loved kicking young boys in the balls if they offended her in any way. She used to brag about how she had kicked every boy she knew in the nuts at least once, and she always used to tease me and threaten me, saying "Hey, you're my brother's best friend and I haven't even kicked you in the nuts! I have kicked everyone else, when am I gonna kick your nuts? I'm sure I'll kick you in the nuts soon!" She was a year or so older and she really scared me! She never did kick me though...
I also told her about how my girlfriend in junior high asked me to let her smash my nuts with her foot, and I let her... That was pretty weird... it only happened that one time though.
I told her all this. At first I was not comfortable telling my dirty secrets to a WOMAN... I actually didn't realize the doctor was female when I made the appointment. I just kind of assumed Dr. so-and-so would be a man, chauvanist me, I know. But, she was very understanding, she was such a good listener, i felt like I could trust her. I ended up telling all, I even told her how I have watched videos of men being brutally kicked, squeezed, stomped, etc. in the balls. It felt good to come clean and tell someone about my dirty secrets.
Then she told me, I think we are making some progress, and I made an appointment to come and see her again. WE talked some more about my childhood and some of my fears and insecurities, how sometimes I'm afraid of intimacy dating, my self esteem problems, etc. Then she said, let's go back to your issues with testicles. She says I have a fear of being ********* that comes from my childhood, that when I was a little boy I was afraid someone was going to ******** me and then I wouldn't be a man and live up to my expectations of being a tough macho man. She said that when my junior high girlfriend smashed my nuts with her foot, that made my problem worse, because someone I trusted and cared about wanted to hurt my testicles, and I felt like I had to let them or I would lose their love. She said she had an exercise that would help, but I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to because it would take a lot of trust. I decided, my future relationships might depend on this so I agreed.
First of all she wanted me to take off my pants. She said, just look at this like a physical exam, and that she was a professional and I could trust her, and she also said that we needed to be perfectly clear that this was not a sexual thing, and that in fact, she was married and had no sexual interest in me, just wanted to help me as a doctor helping a patient. So I did it. Then she wanted me to put on a blindfold. She said I needed to conquer my fear of exposing my genitals, my fear of **********. She also said this went back to some other questions she asked me earlier. For example, the fact that I dont' feel comfortable sleeping on my back, she said that was because it exposes my genitals, that sleeping on my stomach was part of my fear of **********.
Anyway, so I put on the blindfold. This is getting weirder and wierder. Then she asked if she could touch my testicles. She said if I wasn't ready that was fine, we already made progress just getting this far. I said OK. She said it was part of learning to trust a woman not to ******** me. If you can imagine, it was sort of frightening, I don't know this woman, and she has me blindfolded. I wondered if I was really in danger. But I guess this is part of my whole problem. So I decided to face my fear and I said OK you can handle them. She pretty much just rolled them around between her fingers. It was kind of scary and a little bit exciting. She said, see? I am not ********** you, you are safe. I actually started to feel a little bit aroused, but I was so embarassed that luckily I did not get an erection, but my penis was sort of throbbing so I worried. What she said next really made me MORE nervous... she says, now I am going to squeeze your testicles lightly, I want you to see that they are not as fragile as you think. I say OK, but my voice is shaky, this is really outside my comfort zone, I am not sure if this is professional, I am not sure of anything! What kind of doctor is this? I agree though, I figure she must know what she is doing. So, she cups one nut in each of her small hands, and starts to squeeze.
While she was squeezing lightly, it was just mildly uncomfotable, she said to let her know if it was painful. I said no. She said, the testicles take more force to damage than a woman like her is capable of, so I shouldn't worry. Now she started asking me to describe what the squeezing made me think of. I told her, I feel like you are going to rip my balls off at any second. She asked me to just ramble on about anything that came to mind. Then, she said, I want to squeeze harder, is that OK? I said yes, and she clamped down more, and it started to really hurt. I told her, and she said, we can stop now if you want, but I think it would help you to experience the pain you are afraid of, just for a moment, a woman hurting your testicles, so you can see that it is NOT as bad as you think. I say, OK maybe for a moment longer... Then she really squeezes hard! I say, THAT HURTS! and she releases me. Then she says to go ahead and put my pants back on, and take off the blindfold. By now I am sweating and my hands are shaky as I button up my pants. I tuck away my erect penis, I didn't even realize I got an erection somewhere along the line there, I got distracted by the harder squeeze and didn't even notice!
So, I am sweaty and blushing fiercely, and she says, you did very well. Then she asks me to tell her what I thought about that experience. I told her that I felt totally helpless and scared that she might crush my testicles. We talked about it for a while and she started showing me how other things in my life were related to these feelings of insecurity. I didn't tell her, however, that I liked it when she was squeezing my nuts! That was just too much...
So, she says we made a lot of progress and that I should come back and do it again! Is she crazy? She says if we keep working on it I will lose my fear of women. Oh I forgot to say, she says I am afraid of women in general, not just afraid of being *********... she says I am just plain afraid of women. Anyways, what do you guys think? Is this doctor crazy? Should I tell her I liked it when she squeezed my balls? Shouldn't I be honest with my shrink?
I think this is the last thing I expected to happen from going to a doctor!
Well, I have wondered why ballbusting gets me off, it worries me. I wonder if I can live a normal life and get married and have kids... I want a happy marriage with kids, how can I do that if I want a woman who wants to crush my nuts? lol... it doesn't make sense does it?
Well, I didn't know how to make sense of it so I went to see a psychologist. This is a psychologist who also specializes in sexual therapy for couples, and working with sexual hang-ups so I figured she would be better suited to handle this touchy issue, not some regular stuffy psychologist. Anyway, I told her about my childhood growing up with all sisters, none of them ever busted my balls but maybe being the youngest child with all sisters had something to do with it?
I also told her about how in 6th grade I saw a scene in some movie where a girl kicks a guy in the nuts, and he says "you crushed my balls!" and how it scared me... Did she really crush and destroy his balls? Also how in 6th grade my best friend's sister was a very mean ballbuster, she loved kicking young boys in the balls if they offended her in any way. She used to brag about how she had kicked every boy she knew in the nuts at least once, and she always used to tease me and threaten me, saying "Hey, you're my brother's best friend and I haven't even kicked you in the nuts! I have kicked everyone else, when am I gonna kick your nuts? I'm sure I'll kick you in the nuts soon!" She was a year or so older and she really scared me! She never did kick me though...
I also told her about how my girlfriend in junior high asked me to let her smash my nuts with her foot, and I let her... That was pretty weird... it only happened that one time though.
I told her all this. At first I was not comfortable telling my dirty secrets to a WOMAN... I actually didn't realize the doctor was female when I made the appointment. I just kind of assumed Dr. so-and-so would be a man, chauvanist me, I know. But, she was very understanding, she was such a good listener, i felt like I could trust her. I ended up telling all, I even told her how I have watched videos of men being brutally kicked, squeezed, stomped, etc. in the balls. It felt good to come clean and tell someone about my dirty secrets.
Then she told me, I think we are making some progress, and I made an appointment to come and see her again. WE talked some more about my childhood and some of my fears and insecurities, how sometimes I'm afraid of intimacy dating, my self esteem problems, etc. Then she said, let's go back to your issues with testicles. She says I have a fear of being ********* that comes from my childhood, that when I was a little boy I was afraid someone was going to ******** me and then I wouldn't be a man and live up to my expectations of being a tough macho man. She said that when my junior high girlfriend smashed my nuts with her foot, that made my problem worse, because someone I trusted and cared about wanted to hurt my testicles, and I felt like I had to let them or I would lose their love. She said she had an exercise that would help, but I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to because it would take a lot of trust. I decided, my future relationships might depend on this so I agreed.
First of all she wanted me to take off my pants. She said, just look at this like a physical exam, and that she was a professional and I could trust her, and she also said that we needed to be perfectly clear that this was not a sexual thing, and that in fact, she was married and had no sexual interest in me, just wanted to help me as a doctor helping a patient. So I did it. Then she wanted me to put on a blindfold. She said I needed to conquer my fear of exposing my genitals, my fear of **********. She also said this went back to some other questions she asked me earlier. For example, the fact that I dont' feel comfortable sleeping on my back, she said that was because it exposes my genitals, that sleeping on my stomach was part of my fear of **********.
Anyway, so I put on the blindfold. This is getting weirder and wierder. Then she asked if she could touch my testicles. She said if I wasn't ready that was fine, we already made progress just getting this far. I said OK. She said it was part of learning to trust a woman not to ******** me. If you can imagine, it was sort of frightening, I don't know this woman, and she has me blindfolded. I wondered if I was really in danger. But I guess this is part of my whole problem. So I decided to face my fear and I said OK you can handle them. She pretty much just rolled them around between her fingers. It was kind of scary and a little bit exciting. She said, see? I am not ********** you, you are safe. I actually started to feel a little bit aroused, but I was so embarassed that luckily I did not get an erection, but my penis was sort of throbbing so I worried. What she said next really made me MORE nervous... she says, now I am going to squeeze your testicles lightly, I want you to see that they are not as fragile as you think. I say OK, but my voice is shaky, this is really outside my comfort zone, I am not sure if this is professional, I am not sure of anything! What kind of doctor is this? I agree though, I figure she must know what she is doing. So, she cups one nut in each of her small hands, and starts to squeeze.
While she was squeezing lightly, it was just mildly uncomfotable, she said to let her know if it was painful. I said no. She said, the testicles take more force to damage than a woman like her is capable of, so I shouldn't worry. Now she started asking me to describe what the squeezing made me think of. I told her, I feel like you are going to rip my balls off at any second. She asked me to just ramble on about anything that came to mind. Then, she said, I want to squeeze harder, is that OK? I said yes, and she clamped down more, and it started to really hurt. I told her, and she said, we can stop now if you want, but I think it would help you to experience the pain you are afraid of, just for a moment, a woman hurting your testicles, so you can see that it is NOT as bad as you think. I say, OK maybe for a moment longer... Then she really squeezes hard! I say, THAT HURTS! and she releases me. Then she says to go ahead and put my pants back on, and take off the blindfold. By now I am sweating and my hands are shaky as I button up my pants. I tuck away my erect penis, I didn't even realize I got an erection somewhere along the line there, I got distracted by the harder squeeze and didn't even notice!
So, I am sweaty and blushing fiercely, and she says, you did very well. Then she asks me to tell her what I thought about that experience. I told her that I felt totally helpless and scared that she might crush my testicles. We talked about it for a while and she started showing me how other things in my life were related to these feelings of insecurity. I didn't tell her, however, that I liked it when she was squeezing my nuts! That was just too much...
So, she says we made a lot of progress and that I should come back and do it again! Is she crazy? She says if we keep working on it I will lose my fear of women. Oh I forgot to say, she says I am afraid of women in general, not just afraid of being *********... she says I am just plain afraid of women. Anyways, what do you guys think? Is this doctor crazy? Should I tell her I liked it when she squeezed my balls? Shouldn't I be honest with my shrink?
I think this is the last thing I expected to happen from going to a doctor!