Castratrix's pet
10-02-2006, 08:19 PM
When someone has a fantasy that they have for a very long time especially all their life, or a very strong fantasy, I think there is something much deeper that they are searching for through that fantasy than what is just on the surface. I feel that is the case for me with my femdom ********** fantasies.
Through my femdom ********** fantasies, I feel I'm searching for something much deeper, and much more than just the physical and sexual thing of my testicles being surgically removed by a woman.
I think I understand at least some of my sleeve fetish and what I'm searching for through that fetish. I think it has to do with female domination and power/male submission and weakness.
The woman's long sleeves rolled up above her elbows and her arms bare to somewhere above her elbows with her sleeves rolled up symbolizes her as powerful, dominant, omnipotent, in charge and in control. Also free and unrestricted because she is the one with power and control.
Me in long sleeves with my arms covered completely to my hands in long sleeves symbolizes me as weak, submissive, even subjugated by the woman, completely under the woman's power for her to do whatever she wants to do to me.
Also, because of the blood and mess she would have to deal with in performing a surgical **********, if a woman was wearing a long sleeve shirt and she was going to perform a surgical ********** it's a pretty sure bet that she would roll up her sleeves to perform the ********** surgery, and that she would roll her sleeves up above her elbows, probably well above her elbows to perform the ********** surgery.
There is a very strong spiritual aspect to my femdom ********** fantasies. In my own personal spirituality I perceive of God solely as female as Goddess. And I'm very uncomfortable with perceiving of God as male at all. What I'm most comfortable with is perceiving or God solely as female as Goddess. I don't know why I feel that way, I just know that's what I feel.
In my femdom ********** fantasies, as she performs the ********** surgery on me, the castratrix herself becomes and is God as in God is female God is really Goddess. The castratrix becomes and is a living embodiment of God Herself as if it is God Herself who is performing the ********** surgery on me, much the way the High Priestess may have been viewed in some of the very ancient Goddess worshipping cultures as the living embodiment of The Goddess Herself. In my fantasies I worship her as Goddess as she performs the ********** surgery on me, worship of her that will continue forever after the operation and I will worship her and belong completely to her forever.
As if I'm wanting a woman to be God, as if I'm wanting a woman to be God over me like that, and for her to ******** me and my manhood to be destroyed at her hands, and for me to forever serve, worship, and belong to her. I'm not sure just how to explain or describe it, but this is what I have always felt in my femdom ********** fantasies.
Has anyone else ever felt anything like that with female domination, ballbusting, testicle torture, male genital torture at the hands of a woman?
Does anyone else feel anything spiritual during any of that?
With all this in mind, I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm really searching for through my femdom ********** fantasies and how I should to go about finding it.
I would like to know what other's thought and feelings are here and what they are about this. Thanks.
Through my femdom ********** fantasies, I feel I'm searching for something much deeper, and much more than just the physical and sexual thing of my testicles being surgically removed by a woman.
I think I understand at least some of my sleeve fetish and what I'm searching for through that fetish. I think it has to do with female domination and power/male submission and weakness.
The woman's long sleeves rolled up above her elbows and her arms bare to somewhere above her elbows with her sleeves rolled up symbolizes her as powerful, dominant, omnipotent, in charge and in control. Also free and unrestricted because she is the one with power and control.
Me in long sleeves with my arms covered completely to my hands in long sleeves symbolizes me as weak, submissive, even subjugated by the woman, completely under the woman's power for her to do whatever she wants to do to me.
Also, because of the blood and mess she would have to deal with in performing a surgical **********, if a woman was wearing a long sleeve shirt and she was going to perform a surgical ********** it's a pretty sure bet that she would roll up her sleeves to perform the ********** surgery, and that she would roll her sleeves up above her elbows, probably well above her elbows to perform the ********** surgery.
There is a very strong spiritual aspect to my femdom ********** fantasies. In my own personal spirituality I perceive of God solely as female as Goddess. And I'm very uncomfortable with perceiving of God as male at all. What I'm most comfortable with is perceiving or God solely as female as Goddess. I don't know why I feel that way, I just know that's what I feel.
In my femdom ********** fantasies, as she performs the ********** surgery on me, the castratrix herself becomes and is God as in God is female God is really Goddess. The castratrix becomes and is a living embodiment of God Herself as if it is God Herself who is performing the ********** surgery on me, much the way the High Priestess may have been viewed in some of the very ancient Goddess worshipping cultures as the living embodiment of The Goddess Herself. In my fantasies I worship her as Goddess as she performs the ********** surgery on me, worship of her that will continue forever after the operation and I will worship her and belong completely to her forever.
As if I'm wanting a woman to be God, as if I'm wanting a woman to be God over me like that, and for her to ******** me and my manhood to be destroyed at her hands, and for me to forever serve, worship, and belong to her. I'm not sure just how to explain or describe it, but this is what I have always felt in my femdom ********** fantasies.
Has anyone else ever felt anything like that with female domination, ballbusting, testicle torture, male genital torture at the hands of a woman?
Does anyone else feel anything spiritual during any of that?
With all this in mind, I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm really searching for through my femdom ********** fantasies and how I should to go about finding it.
I would like to know what other's thought and feelings are here and what they are about this. Thanks.