Friend reunited

[hurtlemon128]

I just signed up for freinds reunited and was pleased to see some of the girls from my old school who used to kick me in the balls have also signed up.. Ive mailed them and Im gunna ask them if they remember kicking me and what they thought at the time.. Ill let you know if I get any replies :)

[LightningJack]

Sounds good to me.

[agnetha]

Hello,

and this is an unusual post. I don't know how many years ago you left school but I would be very wary of doing such a thing, in some ways its too wrong.

Most people have will moved on a long way from their schooldays, even after a few years and will now have children, partners and lives. There is no such thing as a casual bb relationship in these circumstances.

However you phrase it your contact with them is very likely to cause problems and upset should it be read by a different person, probably a fundamental part of that persons life. It may well be seen as quite a sad thing too as most people's schooldays end as soon as they leave.

Perhaps post your details on the Friends Reunited site and make it plain that you wouldn't mind if old schoolfriends got in touch.

Aggie

[Tinchen]

Hi Aggie,
your post is one of the best I have ever read on this forum! It is about lost youth and how our lives change as we "grow up". Looking back is easy, but going back?
Innocence drains away, and what’s left is a combination of knowledge, experience and an aching nostalgia for something that has been lost along the way and must be recovered.
Really a very good post from you.

Tinchen

[agnetha]

Hello,

and thank you :)

I have long since moved from the area I grew up in so don't have the issue of meeting old aquaintances (or partners!) in passing. The past is just that.

Moving away, as I had to, was the best thing that I ever did, including from a bb point of vew.


Aggie

[hurtlemon128]

I got a reply from the first girl I ever fancied and asked out.. she refused.. :( She has a family now and I have no intention of disrupting that at all. I just wanna know if she remembers what happned on the field that lunchtime when I took her tennis ball and ran off with it hoping she would chase me.. she didn't but her friend did.. We must have been about 15 at the time and I was much bigger than her friend who couldn't have been taller than 5ft but she caught me and size didn't come into it! I just wanna know what see saw and what she thought about it.. so Im gunna ask her very subtley.. :)

[agnetha]

Hello,

sigh, just leave the past where it is, in the past. There's no subtlety in your actions, its close to stalking. The consequences for you are nil, and why put the woman and any part of her world through any upset just for your gratification?

Aggie

[Nexus]

damn calm down, hes just gonna ask about her thoughts back then. Not like hes gonna ask her to kick him

[agnetha]

Hello,

and that's the point, he is going to ask her. I think this is wrong, hurtlemon has posted before ref the possibility of a casual bb relationship. This is what he is after, and he has nothing to lose by intruding on other peoples lives, however nicely he words it.

The woman says she has family i.e. husband, children. What will the husband say if he finds out she's been chatting to some guy who emailed about some childhood incident, and if he's suggested they meet up? Knowingly setting a wedge (however small and subtle) in the relationships of others is not right.

I'm not going to debate this one, bb is between consenting adults and if you want no strings bb, pay for it.


Agnetha

[zetsubou]

Hello,

and that's the point, he is going to ask her. I think this is wrong, hurtlemon has posted before ref the possibility of a casual bb relationship. This is what he is after, and he has nothing to lose by intruding on other peoples lives, however nicely he words it.

The woman says she has family i.e. husband, children. What will the husband say if he finds out she's been chatting to some guy who emailed about some childhood incident, and if he's suggested they meet up? Knowingly setting a wedge (however small and subtle) in the relationships of others is not right.

I'm not going to debate this one, bb is between consenting adults and if you want no strings bb, pay for it.

Agnetha

I totally agree. I'm 20, and i don't like this idea that other people into BB seem to give us all a name as perverts. Yes obviouslys its a 'sexual perversion' or whatever... but alot of us have values... bullshit as it sounds. I'm not going to go chatting about bb events from the past, unless it was very explicitly bb (this doesn't apply to me! It hasn't happened!). And i'm not gonna go round sending perverted questions round on youtube like heyyah1029, to 12 year olds and such like ,about how it would feel to kick people all the balls and similar questions, and using them as something to jerk off to.

If its not bad enough letting young idiots make themselves look even more stupid publicly, and encouraging people to stalk them, he and similar people, make everyone who is into bb look like sick depraved freaks.

Its a fantasy. Its not something you bring up with people unless they've expressed an interest, have said they're up for anything, or you trust each other implicitly. Something like that. You do hear great stories on this forum, of people telling people about the ole bb, and i guess thats alright, because most people have done it well. Doing it underhanded (i dont see how you can subtly bring up such a situation)... dont like that idea.

Its difficult to explain why but yeah. I'd rather people don't go round causing more people to think 'fucked up' when they hear about bb.

[hurtlemon128]

and I thank providence that there is a place like this where things like this can be discussed and everyone can have a fair say.
As for the comparision to stalking I think this all comes down, as always, to intent. A stalkers intent is almost always bad. My intent in this situation is simply to renew contact with someone who was important to me once upon a time. I do not intend ever to meet her but do welocme the chance to discuss thoughts and feelings that we might have had which might explain certain actions on both our parts. She already told me she since met a girl who used to bully her and that meeting allowed her to clear the air and move on .. great!
Now I didn't ask to be kicked in the balls and actually at the time didn't enjoy it! esp as it was in front of someone who I had certain feelings for.. it was'nt her that kicked me. I spent a long time after the event very emabarrased and sensitive towards her and Im fairly sure that its these feelings that we have all had at sometime or another which has got us into this thing we call ballbusting. I just wanna understand it and have no intention of discussing it with her beyond that. Anyway thanks for your opinions and keep up the good work all!

[zetsubou]

Well mate, you know you the best. Your alot more convincing there.

[One from the Vaults]

"Stalker" is just a label; there aren't some people who are actually stalkers and some who aren't, just people doing things which others may construe as stalking, and it only becomes stalking if it's unwanted... two men can do and think the exact same things, and yet one is a stalker and the other is not because of how the object of their interest feels about it.

A good example is the song "Every Breath You Take," which was supposed to be about a creepy stalker, but which enough people find romantic that it's one of the most popular songs to be played at weddings. Just goes to show how society has contradictory values: the same behaviour is lauded as romantic and reviled as stalkerish.

People really just need to chill the fuck out and stop attaching labels to things. We're all just people, including the person you think is stalking you. And he's probably doing it because of the cultural value that says in some circumstances what he's doing is laudable.