Self Acceptance in our Sexual Interests?

[jm1803]

I know at some point many of us have stuggled with accepting who we are as individuals, with regard to our sexual interests. however i am having difficult time accepting these interests we all share. Any insight here would be appreciated?

[eric B]

I've had a difficult time coming to terms with some of my fantasies, but I think that the most important thing to remember is as long as you're not effecting anybody negatively in the real world then you can pretty much feel good about whatever fantasies you're going through.
I remember once I actually sought professional help because I thought my fantasies said something negative about who I was and what kind of future I was going to have. The professionals basically told me to forget about it and try go get laid somehow, but it was good to talk about it with someone in confidence.
If you don't have anyone you can open up to, and you've got certain expectations about what type of person you're supposed to be, then something like a ballbusting fetish could really start to freak you out, so I would try looking for someone to talk to either professionally or just someone who you can trust, if that's how you're feeling.

[nijan0]

In my opinion the best way to get rid of it is to talk with someone who shares your same "interest". Find a bb friend and you'll have no problem anymore.

[iron horse]

It's nice to see reflective posts like this one. It makes this board a more quality environment than just downloading erotic stuff.

First, I think identifying why one feels their sexual interest is something to be ashamed of is very important before this question can be answered. Is it you comparing what it is you desire with the societal "norm" that is the root of such feelings? Is it your or someone else's religion telling you it's wrong?

I'd submit to you that for most us (myself included) it is because of all the crap that is preached to us about being "proper" and any sexual interests outside of the missionary position of a monogamous marriage done solely for procreation is wrong, evil and sick (read here - Jerry Falwellism).

But the hypocrisy in all of this is that those that preach the hardest in our society are often those that are the worst perpetrators (read here - Larry Craig speaking in favor of anti-gay legislation or Jimmy Swaggart preaching to people about being lecherous or adulterous).

I have a theory that 99% of the human population harbors sexual fantasies they deny or are ashamed of. The other 1% either has cancer of the libido or are a mutant species.

No matter how "deviant" we feel our fantasies are, there are always far, far more "deviant" fantasies that many of us shudder even thinking about.

The road to having a healthy and peaceful mind is to accept who you are, that you have these desires because of how you are wired and being a product of your environment - things you did not intentionally control to be able to create your fantasies or desires. You didn't order up your erotic propensities out of a fantasy catalogue thinking "hmmmm...let's see...S&M, exhibitionism, bondage, ****, poopy stuff, pedophilia...oh! ballbusting, yes, that's the one!" It was external factors, so it's okay to have them and there's nothing wrong with you. Yes, you are normal and exactly who you should be, so join the crowd! And if that means keeping your desires secret amongst those that know you, again, join the crowd!

As other posters have noticed, if your yearnings involve harm to others, either emotional or psychological, then justifiable guilt *should* be felt when you allow yourself to act on those urgings. It is then when you need to address why it is you have the "stinkin thinkin" and see a professional for help. If it involves harm to you, then I'd submit there's also something important to discuss with a professional before acting out your fantasies.

But I am comfortable with myself posting in here and enjoying the fantasy of all of my yearnings despite earlier feelings of guilt in that I was "weird" or a "sexual pervert" in the eyes of our hypocritical society.

[clicker123]

i dont mention it around my friends cuz they probably wouldnt understand but i wouldnt care if they did im ok with it and there immature if they find it wrong or have a problem with it i like it but i can still balance a sex life, its only a fetish or a turn on for me not an addiction. I have a few friends i've told and they haven't had any problems with it or mocked me.