Grabbing, Squeezing, BB - inclusive feelings

[Mari]

For several years ago I enjoyed in my fantasies not only vanilla sex,
grabbing was my favourite fantasy, a little bit later also squeezing, but never heard or knowing before about BB.

Than I was some years together in a nice relationship with a man and he told me more about his experiences and wishes about BB. So I tried it first time with him. Very sensual, than more. I was a little bit shy at the beginning and worried to hurt him to much. The reason why I was so shy was not BB, it was the feelings to this men and not to have the wish to be only the substitute woman for his fantasies in place of an other woman
he did not get often the chance BB. But after a while I was opening my mind and felt close and free with him and I had both for a long time. Exciting, fulfilling sex, he was the best lover I ever had and there was feelings of both sides, and to feel his arms around me was also good like
to share with him BB.

It was so much fun to grab him and squeeze him (not to hard) and
to kick him, sometimes a little bit harder. Suddenly I began to like BB. May be he thought I did it only for him, cause he like it, I myself enjoyed it so much, especially with him. I told him also about other
wishes/ fantasies I really like so much, but not every time. So we both had what we want. Sometimes I had the wish to get again more vanilla sex, but
he thought I wish only to have this "special one" I told him. I enjoyed
all the time with him, except some certain experiences / moments.

It seems that our relationship is over now. It was a long distance relationship, but for me was no way to far to travel to him.
Actually I am not able to begin an other relationship, cause the feelings
to him are not gone. Most of us learned to handle this after a while,
so I will do it. Not easy, but it will work out. But I will not be alone int
the future, cause I am full of passion and enjoyment of life, erotic is so important for me. 50 % on the world are men and so some are now knocking at my door. Also some who are living very close where he is living.

Ok, it will take times to open my mind and feeling ( I know I am in the
wrong forum now, here is only talking and enjoying about special
sexual fantasies, never about feelings).

But I want a partner who is sharing with me grabbing, squeezing,
BB and my other fantasies. I was talking with two very old friends and
they never heard about BB. I wondered. So I am thinking, if I would asked
a new partner, may be he will not like or not accept my BB fantasies.
Ok, I am a woman who likes to share exciting erotic experiences with a man
but also that both have feelings for each other and confidence.

Actually I did not find out how to handle it with a new partner, but the BB fantasies are here. I want it so much.
It is a parting gift of the man I was loving till now. So the chance that the
right man find me or I find him (who will enjoy with me BB) is not very great. Isn't it? The good thing is that I had a wonderful experience with BB in the past. The lesser things I have only a little chance to have it again. That is life, ok.

But may be I get a good answer which help me now how is the
best way to find both and where (I'm in doubt about it here), or is impossible like other things of life. Men = only sex! Or may be I delete my registration here and enjoy for the rest of my life vanilla sex and in my mind I am dreaming and wanting BB. Better not to come here again, cause I will get to much lust ob BB and nobody to share it.

May be I living with my thoughts on the wrong star or do not know
enough about this themes. But I take the chance to ask here.

[One from the Vaults]

I think lots more men that you'd expect are into it, but they're probably still a minority. So, with any random guy, he *probably* won't be into it, although if he really likes you he might let you try.

Where do you live? There may be someone on this forum who lives close to you, with whom you could at least meet for coffee and find out if you're interested in each other. There may also be a fetish community in your area... here in Toronto there are regular fetish events, that's a great place to meet someone who's interested in whatever you're into.

[dzwitch]

You've two options:

1) Find a new partner in a BB forum. Yes, tell us where you're from, it's just a nick and a place, you don't need to worry. Start sending private messages and try to know if he seems to be the right man. If so, you can have a coffe and may be after it some scrambled eggs ;)

2) Try with any "regular" man. Just slap his balls very softly and check the reaction, you will know soon if he's into it or not. I wouldn't start talking, he coud be embarrased and deny he likes it even if he does. Just play a bit, you don't even need to wait to be in bed, just while playing in your/his house or something.

[Alec Anaconda]

Suggest you try the lighthearted approach with men you like and know socially.

When a man does something that you “disapprove” of, say
“Do that again and I will slap your balls!”

Any man into BB is extremely likely to give you a positive response.
Phrases such as these indicate his interest:
“You’re too week to do any damage.”
“People will notice in here.”
“You’ll damage your hand.”
“Go on then.”

Men not into BB will normally ignore or gloss over your remark.

It’s worth noting that the word “Ballbusting” can seem frightening to men who do not know the term.
I enjoyed intense testicular stimulation for many years before I found the BB word.

Good luck with your search!

[Mari]

I really wondered how much answers I got.... I didn't expect it, but I like to read it and was thinking about all advices. It is really good to read more and to be anonym.



Also I prefer to be found, not to look for at the right time. Actually I have a protective cover (shining knight's amour) and it is curious, it doesn't help. There are actually heavy attacs to me from differents sides, but I really gave no signals back.



So this is not the problem, to find out "is he or not interesting with BB" will
be the problem. May be they could read my thoughts, lol, in you must burn, what you like to inflame to an other.

But my wish is to have in later times a BB-partner who will also very sensual and confident exists very intense. Time will come and now I am sure that I can find out how to ask him when the right man and moment is close - "the special BB question".

In private life I never talk to my best friends about "my" erotic life or fantasies, except I would tell to a really best friend only the one fact: He is/was a wonderful lover / partner / friend....(ok, my last lover was good, but not perfect, he forgot something to find out with me (I like) and he misunderstood something, but the important things were perfect).



So when I was actually asking the 2 old fellows about BB (they never heard about in life and were looking in internet to know more about), I told them that I read or heard about in internet or TV. Never would talk about my sex life in this themes to friends, except / normally to an actually partner. But I have friends who were talking very open to me.



So it is easier for me here anonym in a forum find out somespecial things. But if I would have the chance to meet"the special one", I would prefer with someone in Ca. / Westcoast or Europe and the age would be also important and some attributes.

Also I know 101 % I would be to shy to go to a fetish event, but it
interests me to read about. I heard something from a relative. She went there with her husband 20 years and told me. I never was there, may be I have special ideas (doubts). May be I am one of the rarely extinct species who likes erotic, romantic, fun, passion and strong feeling together. But I understand most of the different fantasies of others I never knew about before and I learned there is a specialdifferent to handle with between men and women. May be women need most more - like in my headlines.



Actually I am reading a reading a really good erotic book and it was so
funny cause author (a woman) was writing about some real experiences with grabbing, squeezing and BB, written with humor and very very erotical.
Lucky me to enjoy this book and getting again fantasies. Is there any other literature / books include BB? Sometimes erotical other books are so boring.



For now thank you!



You made my day! Things are going better actually for the greenhorn (me).

[bblaowai]

I think there are some single people here who would love to get in a relationship with an open minded girl like yourself. What country are you located in?

[msjstw]

Actually I am reading a reading a really good erotic book and it was so
funny cause author (a woman) was writing about some real experiences with grabbing, squeezing and BB, written with humor and very very erotical.
Lucky me to enjoy this book and getting again fantasies. Is there any other literature / books include BB? Sometimes erotical other books are so boring.

Hello Mari!

would you mind telling us which book you are reading? Sounds very interesting. Would be great to know the title and author so I can have a look.

Thanks a lot for your thoughts on this!

[Mari]

Hello Mari!

would you mind telling us which book you are reading? Sounds very interesting. Would be great to know the title and author so I can have a look.

Thanks a lot for your thoughts on this!




I think I got now enough answers. Thank you for the impulses.
I wish I could understand sometimes the sexual attitudes of men better,
specially of one of them. So I am strolling unsuspecting further to
my world. Good luck for all they answered me!

Mari


There are a lot of books, but I remember what I am actually reading,
not finishing....

Hello msjstw

In the book is to read about different sexual practices, something about grabbing and squeezing....and other practices.

It is a sweeping, rousing written book with a humorously. A German
student between University and brothel. She was studying "art history".
A normal life. Suddenly her longtime friend was leaving her and she
was standing there with a lot debts. She began to work as a prostitute
in a brothel. After first euphoria about the easy money and not so bad
experiences follows a lot of doubts between this two worlds and a conflict.

She was showing the background of students with prostitution, which is
not so rarely in Germany. Also she had as a honest student an affair with her university professor and it ended after some years and she was falling down in a big depressions and made a lot of mistakes. Sex and alcohol was
dominant in the nights in her life.

Than she met later again a man and told him unexpected about the parts
of her secret sexual life and and was playing with open cards.
It was her luck. The man was good to her and they married. She got a little
heritage and this was her chance to stop with prostitute and she
made promotion / doctoral, is very happy married and working actually
in Culture management and writing historical books and was writing this book about her life and sexual experiences.

Alexandra Aden "Und nach der Vorlesung ins Bordell"

She told in an radio interview that she enjoy sex in private life very much
but only in association with love and feelings.
~

Mes Chères Etudes

French student Laura D.

There is an other popular book about this theme in french.
For Laura D, life continues – but without the prostitution. “I’m still a student and I still have a hard time living,” she admitted. Although financial pressures still exist, she realised that prostituting herself to pay for her studies was not the solution.

“It’s really hard to find yourself in front of a fifty-year-old man, naked, and to become an object of fantasy.”

(....I could enjoy to find me in front of a fifty-year-old-man with grey hair
as an object of fantasy, lol....)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/crossing_continents/7290139.stm

http://frenchnewsforanglophones.blogspot.com/2008/01/seeking-lolita-student-prostitution-in.html


~

Before some years I read the very famous book

from Catherine Millet "The sexual life of Catherine M."

May be this book is good more for men, I am sure. It was not my favourite book, but a classic book. Unrestraine, relentlessly, ingenouos sex. Some
press wrote: spectacular!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2002/may/19/biography.features

[Alec Anaconda]

Lucky me to enjoy this book and getting again fantasies. Is there any other literature / books include BB? Sometimes erotical other books are so boring.


Hi Mari,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

All of my novels include some BB.

The most prolonged and intense BB is in “Slaves of Janice”. You can read extracts via the link within my signature.

I hope that you will find my work interesting, for I fit the action alongside emotion and a story.

I do not know your preferred language, but will also find erotic works in German via that link.

[bblaowai]

Mari, may I ask what is your favorite part of a grabbing and squeezing experience?

Grabbing and squeezing is a big turn on for me to because a woman literally has me "by the balls". It is very sexy to look a woman in her eyes when she has your balls in her hands, and can do whatever she wants with them.

Do you feel this way?

[Mari]

@Alec Anaconda

I really like to sign out here, but you answered me friendly, so
I answer you again, its is like in real life. To say no, but to
forget your decision for a while.

I didn't found the right book / theme for me there in my language.

The last erotical books I read were at the beginning very exciting
and made curious, but at the middle of the book I felt not more
so good and exciting. May be this is the same like in erotical sites
in internet or in real life. Sometimes it is good not to know to much
and not all secrets of a person you think you like. Sometimes
it is in the relationship the same. I am sure I have found the right book
but I had it only a short time and could not read it to end, I do
not the last chapters. May be skipped a chapter and turn over a new
leaf. As I understand it right, at your website is it possible to write
about erotical adventures / experiences / dreams / fantasies or something like this and to make than a book.

The adventures are beginning in our heads. The erotical book I like
to read is not written till now, cause only I know how it would be
perfect and most exciting and I would read it till the end of the book.
So for me would be the best to write for myself.

@bblaowai

If I would write you here something more about my feelings it would
be not a good feeling for me at the end. Ok, I could play with words,
very easy for me, could tell you things about grabbing and squeezing I guess you could find it exciting or something like this. You would never suspect is it true or not, but you would have your fantasies or fun. I don't know. You don't know how is my voice, how I am looking, how is my smile,
my skin, may be a nice smell.

I know a lot of women they are playing this kind of games with her
husbands, lovers, or better word for "illusion". Both sides are at the
moment satisfy. The woman learned to be a good erotic actor and
the man will imagine it is true what she is acting to him. It is often
not true, but the woman expecting something others for her
acting. She was smiling and doing this things he likes. I was talking with so much of ladies about and was surprised what they really thinking. Obviously it is for men not so important at the end.

I am sure you will get soon the answer what you like to hear.

It is dangerous for me cause sometimes I forgot that I am writing in
internet and so much can read it, only not the one I wish.

It is like the classic drama without an act:
She: I am tired and go to bed. Will you go with me to bed?
He: No, I am not yet tired!

She: He has a wonderful voice!
NN: And what is the problem?
She: He is not speaking!

Good luck together with loving, talking, playing, grabbing,
squeezing and BB-ing!

bye

[Alec Anaconda]

Hi Mari.

I like your idea of passing like ships in the night, very romantic.

Please write your book, but do not share it until this is right for you.
If you never finish it, you cannot know the ending.

Au revoir

[Mari]

Hi Mari.

I like your idea of passing like ships in the night, very romantic.

Please write your book, but do not share it until this is right for you.
If you never finish it, you cannot know the ending.

Au revoir

"If not now, when?"

To public and throw a leaf of roses to the Rocky Mountains and waiting for an echo.

~~~~

I do not know how to delete here the registration. I could write something naughty, but here
it seems welcome, but there is no way out.

mmhhh

[Dreihundert]

Suggest you try the lighthearted approach with men you like and know socially.

When a man does something that you “disapprove” of, say
“Do that again and I will slap your balls!”

Any man into BB is extremely likely to give you a positive response.
Phrases such as these indicate his interest:
“You’re too week to do any damage.”
“People will notice in here.”
“You’ll damage your hand.”
“Go on then.”

Men not into BB will normally ignore or gloss over your remark.

It’s worth noting that the word “Ballbusting” can seem frightening to men who do not know the term.
I enjoyed intense testicular stimulation for many years before I found the BB word.

Good luck with your search!

Is quite the touchy word, ain't it? :P

I would generally hint toward it. A friend of mine and I joked and hinted toward the subject for a very long time. Never did I say "Kick me in the balls" or smth..

[Mari]

And what is about the other special world for "grabbing"?
Cause this is the best version if the woman do not know that the
favourite man like BB or not.

Sometimes it seems that men can read in women mind 300 times. This days suddenly one of two men was talking with the woman about this theme at a
neutrally place.The way how "he" was beginning was also interesting as the fact that he do not like BB or something like this but ask the woman and the second man, what they are thinking about. First one, who was
asking, was definitive not interested about BB, grabbing, squeezing. Contrary! The other man seems, that he like it (pain), but it was the wrong one, not so attractive as the other one. The woman took care not offer all of her mind by this talk, but was very amused about the reaction and statements of both men. Not sure, is this the book to seek in the library of the ocean.

~
Does any one know where is the key to get out here?

[Mari]

OT

It was really a interesting experience here, but it is time to sign out here
my registration. English is not my favourite language and I didn't find
the button where I can delete my registration "Mari".

I was writing a friendly email to the administrator of this forum, bud
didn't got an answer till today.

May be there is a friendly user who can help me to find out of this
nice place here.

I would like to wander further.

Thank you so much for the tip, where is the right door to open.

Mari

[Su0]

OT

It was really a interesting experience here, but it is time to sign out here
my registration. English is not my favourite language and I didn't find
the button where I can delete my registration "Mari".

I was writing a friendly email to the administrator of this forum, bud
didn't got an answer till today.

May be there is a friendly user who can help me to find out of this
nice place here.

I would like to wander further.

Thank you so much for the tip, where is the right door to open.

Mari

I don't believe there's a way to delete your account, it's not usual on any these kind of forums. The adminstrator can delete your account, but don't expect a reply if they're too busy doing something else.

But why you would have to delete the account anyway? Just don't log in anymore, perhaps change your password to something you can't remember and never come back. Then your account and posts will move to history and probably stay there, these forums have worked for years.

[Mari]

Thank you for the answer @SuO

So it is now an unseparable relationship with this forum / illusory world. Like in the real life. Sometimes there is also no button to deactivate.

"if you want to get out there you gotta take a walk" I heard.

So I am in the BB trap. If I could now grab and squeeze someone
a little bit harder as I have done it before a while, cause he was the
actuator that I was looking her about BB and things like this,
just in this moment it would be fun.

http://www.six4.de/images/voodoopuppe.gif

I will stab the needle a little further alow and I am sure somebody
will feel it now, lol! But grabbing and squeezing would be more
sensible.

[Alec Anaconda]

I do hope you were not thinking of me when you posted that image!

Grabbing and squeezing, indeed, would be more enjoyable.

I am sure that your hands will inflict erotic testicular torment sooner than you anticipate.

[Mari]

one of both will feel it hard and ****** and I am sure the right
T.owner will notice it.

http://www.pipingrad.com/images/Bubblegum.gif

[Candy]

strange... you remind me of someone

est tu Montréalaise?

[Mari]

strange... you remind me of someone

est tu Montréalaise?



No!

~~~~

I'm a greenhorn in sexual things and may be "one man" in this forum
can give me the answer I need that I can delete the picture out of
my mind of a special BB-situation I had before some months. This
is the reason why I am here in this forum!!!!

1.Grabbing 2. Squeezing 3. BB -> last -> 4. feelings

The continuing addiction BB-Forum was the trigger, not the reason that a wonderful love affair came to an end over two continents.
In the first place, the BB-Forum. Then came the feelings and the relationship and then he forgot for a while the woman who was flying
over the seas cause him. Also he want so much that I will come to him.

I'm miles away to the other end of the world have flown, because he absolutely wanted me to and a long wait could be, but already on the second day when I was with him at his home, the BB forum for first place in his head and in his desire table used . I was at the moment only a small statist. Sweet nothing.

I understand if men in the internet pages of erotic excite want for whatever reason.

But I'm still waiting for the answer to why a man who, in a multi-year love relationship is intact and again stressed that he had no problem at its heart a long wait lady can have on the second day forgets that it is near and above the computer at a BB-Forum like together with a BB-user masturbated, two days in a row after their arrival to his land and home.

I was coming to the room and turned suddenly back and was running
away. Next day the same ceremony, but I was asking than: Why I am here!
What are you doing. (he could also having fun with me and BB, but he
prefers to do it in internet, we are not living every day together like
a married couple, so there was a great longing to each other, also
a great erotical and sensual interests)

There is no jealousy of any user in the BB forum, but the feeling of worthlessness at this moment. So it seems to me "Ballbusting" now.
I have the impression that BB is fun with the right partner, but for some the urge is so strong to do that in a dependency changes. So my impression making loose.

The worst case was that I could not talk about it to an other person, cause
nobody was knowing something about BB. When I saw him the second time inflagranti (he was not expecting me in this moment, 20 hours later after
my arriving - so long distance to him) and he swore that he will never masturbated again in my presence during I am there in his home, I told him that I would like to continue run away, two times.

From that moment on he was an attentive and wonderful lover and best friend and companion. Very sensual and caring and did not wish that
I will go earlier away. He sincerely apologized several times for me.

I had images in mind and in my head, as he masturbates in front of the computer to have fun with BB and could not remember and understand why I ever was with him when he was active with anonymous BB users and this was more important at this moment when I arrived and the long journey.

It was like I was cooking a 5 star dinner and he would pee inside the
food.

I got by him suddenly many responses, only two answers remained open.

1. Why he was and wish so long years wait for me in so a long distance
and enjoyed and shared with me the things of love, emotion and erotic
also BB?

2. Why a man masturbated at the computer when his woman is
back after a long time and he want her so much?

Ok, I can jump into the Themse or Seine, cause this crazy pictures
are still in my mind and memory, I can visit Mr. Freud and laying on his
couch, I can visit him again and hard kicking in his balls or I can
ask here in the forum some users, what was the reason for his strange behavior to me.
Sexual addiction in the Internet? Sexual habits? Am I sexually at this moment not relevant for him?

After discussion, he was very concerned about me and tried gracious and attentive as a woman is loved by her wishes.

Everything was well again, but I had to fly back. Then again these scenes in my head in memory and I asked him again: Why!

I got no right answer and formulated possible response options, which he was 100% correct.

He said that it would be difficult to get back to the old confidence.

I accepted it, but I can understand it and still do not think every day on these two days and situations.

The reason why I'm here, I want to find out the answers and want again for me to open my mind for an other man, but it is not possible, cause
I need the answers, and I now have a strange attitude to BB.

I know this is not the right place to talk about "feelings", but I try it.

Thank you

The Greenhorn

[Takkyuu_tama]

This is just my opinion, and while I don't think I can excuse your man from choosing the forum, I do understand the feeling. We all get into our routines, our rituals. We brush our teeth with the same hand, get up and get dressed in the same order, do the same commute and so on. Our brains get accustomed to things.

Sex, especially fetishes like this one, can have a powerful hold on the mind. I think it's important to maintain a sense of reality and to get out once in a while. I don't even browse this forum that often, for just that reason. But your guy seems to have built up personal connections this way, and that can be a much stronger tie.

I don't know, it does seem strange that he'd choose masturbating with an internet friend over you, but then, a lot of times in real-life sex i'm just not interested in BB, whereas I am usually interested when i'm by myself.

I don't have much advice for you except that he's probably not too well adjusted socially and didn't appreciate what he had when you came to see him. We all take things for granted sometimes, but that doesn't make it any less stupid.

I'm not sure from reading your letter, but did you say you interrupted him while it was going on? Did he just want you to..."catch him in the act?"

It sounds strange, either way. sorry things didn't go so well.

[Mari]

I don't have much advice for you except that he's probably not too well adjusted socially and didn't appreciate what he had when you came to see him. We all take things for granted sometimes, but that doesn't make it any less stupid.

I'm not sure from reading your letter, but did you say you interrupted him while it was going on? Did he just want you to..."catch him in the act?"

It sounds strange, either way. sorry things didn't go so well.[/quote]

The long distance relationship worked perfectly, although there were some changes in its environment, changing. He had the chance to finish the
relationship after the togetherness the time before, but I often asked him:
Do you really want to be with me, do you like to be with me, shall I travel
so far to you. He said, that it would be never a problem, he could wait so
long time for me. He wished only that I am with him.

We both were waiting only for this moment to be again together. There
was so a special longing, also a tenderness and we had so much Joie de vivre, but but limited in time for actually, but it would not be a problem
to change it. I had had praxis one time in life that a long distance
relationship was working some years and ended from the man's side, cause
the man does not believe at this time that it would make sense. 15 years
later he was my husband, he met me again after some years no to have
contact and asked me in the first hour of our meeting again: Will you marry
me. Life and people is sometimes strange, but I am not more with this
man together, only that you understand better, how it could come.

He was waiting for me at the airport and it seems he would be the most
happy man there, I was the most happy woman. I had a really wonderful
welcome there and also in his house he took care that I feel good.
At the other side he had daily to work 2 hours something at home. So
I heard him working, I was in this time in an other floor and suddenly it
was so still. I went down the stairs through some rooms, all doors were
open and than I saw him at the end of a room sitting, in a distance of
some meters. First I did not notice what is going on, I stopped some
seconds to look at him and was making a little bit noise, that he would
know that I am very close, but not too close. Suddenly I saw that he
had his Jogging pants down on the knees, I saw his nacked back and
how he was very fast pulling his pants. I was going very quickly without
words upstairs and he came two minutes later and was not sure how
much I saw there.

He tried to be at this day and night very tenderly and passionately and carefully. I felt sick in my stomach, but after some hours I felt better. In this night I could not sleep and was sitting in the dark house with the
house animal. I felt alone and strange and lost.

Next day all was good. He was again working in the afternoon for a while
downstairs and I was cooking and brought him some dessert downstairs.
Again I saw him sitting with nacked abdomen. It was clearly. I got some-
thing like a shock of the situation. I could come closer very quiet to
look at him what is going on, to know more about what happened there, but
inside me there is a kind of respect, also in this situation. With the plate
in the hand I asked very loudly and clearly: What are you doing? Why I am
here, why I am travelling so long distance to you, why do you want that
I am with you, why do you told me that you can wait so long time for me?
I was running upstairs and felt more sick than the day before.

I told him that I will I said that I will pack my things and go away,
so sad that I am witness to this incident to be. I saw his face on the despair that I would make it and he asked me repeatedly to stay. Than
we had a very good talk some hours and I got a lot of answers he didn't
told me before, about his life and situation. Thing we really need to talk.
So I changed my mind and was staying longer there. I had the impression that he did not want that I catch him in this situation. He was begging
me not to go and that he will never do it again when I am close and said
often: sorry for that happened, but it is not so how you are thinking and
it seems to you!

But how is it?

Also he let me write on his laptop to have contact with my family and
friends. He does not delete the links that he had previously visited.
I saw this also the day before. Than he went with me together on some
erotic internet sides he like to visit "only for a view". Big tits, big boobs,
BB, grabbing, squeezing and he tried to share it with me and not hidden.
He told me that I can have a look and I was clicking later alone the sides
and there came some user with personal messages, but I was so
respectfull not to answer, cause he was always logged in with his nickname, not logging out cause I was there. Also when he was working
during the day and I was alone at his laptop. I have not used this situation
to spy on him more. I was in a lock cause it was his privacy.

The time after this was happened was again wonderful with him and with
a lot of feeling and good moments. He did all to me to be happy. In my
mind there was every day the film clip of this two situations and I tried
to forget it. It was not possible. It would help to get an answer why
he did it to me.

When I was alone in his house, he need to work than, I had to much
time to think about and the wish to run away without words. To take
my suitcase and fly away. I got a mail from a handicaped paralyzed friend.
He does not know that I am very close there in the area and I send
him a short message that I do not feel good but not the reason why.
He wrote me back that I can come to him, I was thinking some hours
about but I does not went there. I knew there I would be safety, cause
this man was sitting in a wheel chair and was impotent. So the reason
to plan to go there was that I need at this moment distance.

I was still there and got so much love and attention. But now I am
back home and there was no day and night that I was not thinking at
this crazy situation. It would be easier for me that I would saw him
inflagranti with an other woman. So I could tell to myself, he does not
want you, he want only sex or play and I could forget him and our
wonderful relationship. I could make a cut, but actuell I cannot forget
him and I try to do it. Also that I can be free and open for an other
relationship. I thought that my thinking about sex is wrong and others
were knowing much more than me.

Thank you for your answer

Mari

I am actually writing something and have a lot of printed, except
erotical experiences and this case, cause I must take consideration
to him and his privacy, also for my privacy. But I had a chance to
write here and a tiny chance to get a feed back

[Alec Anaconda]

Hi Mari,

Do you like watching wrestling?

If so, why not go to a match with some male friends?
There are frequently below-the-belt moves (often fake) to which you can comment.
The men’s reactions may help you sort the wheat from the chaff.

[Mari]

Hello Alec Anaconda

I don't like wrestling. The reason: Never saw an attractive man by
wrestling. Most of them too small or the other to big and having to much
muscles. For example by the Olympics or in Wrestlings Shows. I don't
like their wrestling dresses, not sexy. I like other fighters.

I prefer kick boxing and an other sport like this. Just last days I was enjoying it in real life and was asked to do it also in a sport club with others, it is possible there, never mind in which age the fighters are. Before a long time I did it and so I thought I could do it again and one day I will meet "him" again and kick a little bit with him. Just for fun. It is really a good sport.

Last weeks I find out that it is easy to come with men in special themes.
I was working in a project together with some men very long hours in a room and suddenly one of the men was beginning to talk about a
workshop he was at last time. Workshop for beginners / new firm. Two women were also there he told who were in a SM studio or in a SM escort service and they had to finish this workshop cause questions about taxes and laws. He was surprised how the women were inofficial and how they were talking about their job. He did not get great need for them and asked
us what we thinking about and told us details.

The colleagues were so discussing with me about BB and SM others sexual
practical very open mind.
The attractive man was not a friend of pain and something like BB, the other not so attractive man told us that he likes it and understand why
men prefer it. It was a long and very interesting talk, sometimes very
funny. One week later a third younger man was with us working
one time at this project was suddenly attacking
me sexually with his hand and I was not feeling good in this
situation, also he was talking about me and my body and I was
feeling bad and also up set
with the other men who did not help me first minutes. They noticed
that he had his hand at my knees and thighs .... The situation
was not good for me and escalating and I was thinking about all three colleagues and than the man who do not like SM was talking to the attacker, that he need to stop suddenly and go home. He was drunken and
came spontan to this meeting for a short time. The other man who likes
SM and this things were still working further at the computer and files and did not take noticed of us, it seems that he enjoyed the situation or
he had not enough courage to stop the unfair situation. I was thinking about what would have been that I kicked him, after I told him to stop and took his hands away from me.
Would he kicked me back? I don't like this pain. I took his hand
serveral times away and told him strictly to stop this kind of attacks.
It was a new situation for me, not very nice. We discussed one week
later about this situation very long. The young man was not there again.
The other two had different opinions that this situation will not be again
there and some plans for to prevent it. The man who likes SM and things like this told me that I would have overreact. I was really surprised. I told both that next time if the man would attack me again I would react others!
Never it will happened again there, I am sure. But in the moment I was
so shocked and unable to react souvereign.

It is a big difference for me to have fun (fighting, BB ....) with my friend, lover and fellow when we have fighting plays together than a man would attack me (this is not often, but few times happened in my life).

When I would practicing now kick boxing or something like this I would like
to have fun and a good feeling to do it and the right opponent.

I was talking yesterday with the other woman who was practicing this
days kick boxing and she told me that she do not like pain, but that would
be very nice to kick and have fun with in and fun to fight. So I think the same. Often there are different reasons when two persons are doing
something, also when a man and woman are together. It is difficult
to find out sometimes. If you have luck the man is open talking about what
he want and what he likes and why.

I do not need more to find out theme that a man like BB or something like
this. I knew now enough.

[Alec Anaconda]

Time has past since your were treated so badly, Mari.
Do you feel any less perturbed now?