Possible Issue: Want Ballbusting but am not Submissive...

[cracker]

Read about Pandora's Box (NYC dungeon) where you can get your balls busted but interviewed doms complained about clients who tell them what they want rather than just treat them like some sort of goddess or something.

I'm particular about how I want my balls busted and am not into boot licking, domination, and so on. And I'd be paying. I'm the customer. I don't care if she puts on an act, just put on an act I want. (In my dreams, a woman who loved me would want to hit my balls and get wet by hitting my balls before we had sex --- instead, I've only had sex which is all well and good but I can't tell gf's I want my balls busted --- trust me, I've tried some baby steps. Most don't want to hear it and find it weird.)

Can i tell a dom what I want and have her listen to me? From what I've read, no. Or maybe I'm misinformed.

[Julie18nz]

Saddly, you are pretty much right. What most Dommes fail to understand, unless they are REAL Dommes and not just paid ones, is that the Sub has the REAL power. I suggest that you try and find a call girl that will do it, that way you can tell her what you want and I doubt it would be any more expensive and may actually be cheaper :)

[justjon]

Saddly, you are pretty much right. What most Dommes fail to understand, unless they are REAL Dommes and not just paid ones, is that the Sub has the REAL power. I suggest that you try and find a call girl that will do it, that way you can tell her what you want and I doubt it would be any more expensive and may actually be cheaper :)

Quite possibly you are right Julie, finding a call girl to do it could end up being cheaper but then isn't it a little risky placing your trust in someone who is somewhat inexperienced in this area? i suppose a little light play squeezing, slapping etc would be fine, but maybe for those into the extremes of ballbusting, perhaps seeing a professional would be the best course of action?

[cracker]

I don't wasnt to be maimed and the thought will be as exciting as the act.

But do I tell her before meeting her or wait untiI I'm in a room and she's just expecting to spread her legs. Ballbusting should be easier for her but I bet she'll be uncomfortable and also try to charge more for non-typical "sex."

If she's open minded,, that would be great. And she would probably be willing to strip and have a better body than most doms. And be more similar to the girl next door. I think I'll try with a call girl and, worst comes to worst, just feel her up and have some regular sex. That can't be so bad :-).

I really don't thing amateur doms understand men who want their balls busted --- or at least those that do not want to be dominated. It's too bad. Heck, I emailed doms who don't want to bust balls! But I only need to find one understanding/open woman.

[Teardrop]

Can i tell a dom what I want and have her listen to me?
It's normal to discuss with the dom what is going to happen during the session beforehand. Of course, this includes what you would like to do, how severe, etc.

Maybe what the doms were complaining about is subs topping from the bottom once the session is started. Just make sure you discuss everything you need beforehand, and let her get on with it without being interrupted once the session begins.

[dzwitch]

Hehehe! that recalls me a story I had some years ago. I decided to visit a mistress. I called her up in order to arrange a meeting and she said:

- "From now, you've to call me mistress, and don't look directly at my eyes"

I thought It was ridiculous, but I followed her orders and some days later we had a meeting.

After some minutes she ****** me to whorship her feet - I wasn't interested at all - and she began to whip me claiming that I was "a bad boy", in that moment I had to stop and tell her: "Look I don't like that, this is a nonsense, where's the ballbusting?"

Fortunately she said: "Oh! you should have told me! Then let's move to a different scenario" And from that moment it all was ballbusting "peer-to-peer".

So my advice is: just tell her you're not interested in submission, just ballbusting, she will accept or not, and in the second case it's time to look for a different mistress, or you will feel very dissapointed.

[Tamakeri]

It's normal to discuss with the dom what is going to happen during the session beforehand. Of course, this includes what you would like to do, how severe, etc.

Maybe what the doms were complaining about is subs topping from the bottom once the session is started. Just make sure you discuss everything you need beforehand, and let her get on with it without being interrupted once the session begins.

But that's just the point. If he, as the paying and hopefully returning customer, wants a provider who will actually get her head out of her self aggrandized cloud and listen to what he wants, even "once the session begins" then he deserves that. Sadly virtually no domme I have ever been to or heard of "gets it" (with one notable exception). My opinion, the majority of dommes make for a lousy ball-busting experience. They charge as much or more as good looking hookers, and aside from the fact that dommes are often willing to be brutal (which he obviously doesn't want), hookers are the better choice of the two, and if you actually have some idea in your head of combining ball-busting with sex, that will be fine or even expected with the hooker but don't even think of it with a domme. I prefer college girls myself, especially in today's economy. There are millions of them. Young, energetic and cute, they all need money, and you can find one without such an inflated opinion of her own self-worth.

[Tamakeri]

...
In my dreams, a woman who loved me would want to hit my balls and get wet by hitting my balls before we had sex --- instead, I've only had sex which is all well and good but I can't tell gf's I want my balls busted --- trust me, I've tried some baby steps. Most don't want to hear it and find it weird.)
...

Simple answer dude ... if ballbusting is important to you, then you have the wrong girlfriend. Find the girl of your dreams. This isn't even necessarily about ballbusting. If you have something to say ... something that is important to you ... and your gf doesn't want to hear it ... whatever it is ... then she isn't really the right choice for you, is she?

[jtomin32]

I've been to Pandora's Box a few times, had some great sessions, and I would characterize myself as similar. Not into humiliation/anything other than ballbusting. My advice is to be as explicit as possible, describe what a great session would be - they are good listeners...

[Teardrop]

If he, as the paying and hopefully returning customer, wants a provider who will actually get her head out of her self aggrandized cloud and listen to what he wants, even "once the session begins" then he deserves that.
I completely agree with what you wrote, Tamakeri. That's the way it should be. But I've read on several forums that others occasionally have a much more negative experience. I was just thinking out loud as to why that could be.

Strange thing is, I've never had any of the problems I read about on various forums of Doms being unable to get off their high-horse. All of the Doms I've ever met have been extremely intelligent, thoughtful women. In fact, I was at a fetish club last Saturday, and the Dom who was hurting me actually asked right the way through exactly what I wanted, how hard, etc. I heard her ask another gentleman if he had any back problems such as a slipped disc before she stood on his back. Maybe I've just been lucky and managed to find some of the good ones.

[dec86]

Simple answer dude ... if ballbusting is important to you, then you have the wrong girlfriend. Find the girl of your dreams. This isn't even necessarily about ballbusting. If you have something to say ... something that is important to you ... and your gf doesn't want to hear it ... whatever it is ... then she isn't really the right choice for you, is she?

:thumbup
absolutely correct Tamakeri!!
My ex-gf didn't listen me about bb and about little things too...little things for her...that's why now she is my EX......

[darthsidius]

This is something I have experienced quite a bit.

I will generally look for a hooker rather than a domme for this very reason. I have had much better experiences with hookers. As long as you are frank with them upfront they will do what you have agreed to.

One thing is to ask the hooker if she does domination and if she asked tell her what you want and how hard and whether she is happy to do it and also what experience she has had. You will be surprised at how many have done BB before.

There are a few dommes who are exceptional but I would advice that you speak to hte domme on the phone and judge her attitude. Also look at other customer feedback regarding how much the domme listens and caters for various scenarios. The other option is to go for women who specifically do fighting/wrestling and again ask them. They usually have less "ATTITUDE" that dommes.

But all in all I would say a good hooker is usually the best.

[lloyd2you]

First time poster, long time lurker. I am glad that you brought up this topic. I too am not submissive. So, glad to see someone else that way.I once went to a Massage Parlor with an Asian girl. She gladly smacked my balls for me. When I told her "once more" she said "no, 2 more". It was great. she was gone the next time I went in and haven't had balls enough to try again. Maybe you could try a massage parlor. Save some bucks even.