johnny_cockNballs
08-06-2009, 11:52 PM
Put in your fotos, web address for purchases, advertisements for ********** tools, more...
My girfriend and I together have been starting to do “********** play”, so we look around online to see ********** tools and stories. The following is an advertisement we found for a burdizzo tool. My girlfriend (her English is better) and myself changed some of the words to make a fun reading (I put in some comments too). Hope you enjoy it too!
TOOL
THE BURDIZZO® EMASCULATONE 9
Price: $45.95
FEATURES:
Comes in a variety of handy sizes for store in pockets or purse.
Non-slip molded plastic handles, easy to pull close.
Wide opening clamp for large oversized testicles.
The Burdizzo Emasculatone is an elegant little tool especially suited to crushing the spermatic cords of the male. It really helps to make a neat job of what would otherwise be an unpleasantly messy endeavor, and the Burdizzo achieves the goal of bloodless ********** admirably.
When a woman needs to ******** a man, she has many options. She can use a small, sharp knife, for example, and have a lady friend hold the man down so that his testicles are exposed and to be sure that he won’t move around too much. Then she can use her knife to make an incision through which the testicles, separated from the spermatic cords, can be removed.
There is also something called an elastrator, a tool that positions a rubber band tightly around the scrotum of the male. Not long after the band is applied, the testicles will dry up and you are all set.
Yes, there are other tools, but by the far the best one is the Burdizzo Emasculatone. It is relatively painless and it lessens the possibility of infection since there is no open wound for parasites to move into. In fact, the Burdizzo never even breaks the skin.
To use, you need one male (preferably young) and a Burdizzo of the rightsize. While the 9” and 12” models are good for young boys, for sexually mature males a woman will want to use the bigger sizes.
Make sure that the Burdizzo is working properly before you begin. A “sprung Burdizzo” (one that does not close completely) will not successfully neuter your man.
Have a friend restrain the man and find the spermatic cords. They will be about the thickness of a pencil and there will be one leading to each testicle. Choose a side and position the Burdizzo so that it completely covers one side of the upper scrotum and one of the spermatic cords. Clamp down and count to ten or twenty. Then repeat with the other side. You should pay careful attention to the site for the next few days to make sure the ********** has been successful. If your man is successfully neutered, the testicles will be reabsorbed into the body, and along with them his chances of procreating or creating awkward and embarrassing situations in the neighborhood.
[I enjoy that last sentence, probably the reason most women would ******** their man.]
[Only a woman would think of the next paragraphs, and just the type of woman I want to meet. ******** me with her burdizzo, and then use it joyfully about the house, all the while giving me a winning smile each time she pulls it closed.]
We know that the Burdizzo is excellent at the task for which it was designed, but it has a surprising variety of other uses around the home. It is quite easily adapted to making ravioli, for example, and produces a lovely crimp at the edge of the pasta. The 9” Burdizzo is perhaps the most efficient at this job, though for making outsized ravioli the 12” or even the 14” Emasculatone would do nicely. The Burdizzo is also about right for cracking either lobster shells or nuts. (N.B.: Great care was taken to avoid this particular reference, however, it really is quite skilled at breaking open all variety of tree nuts, including pecans, hazelnuts and walnuts.) People who find the pseudo-military dress, too-toothy grin, and balletic implications of the traditional holiday nutcracker man disturbing may want to replace him with a Burdizzo.
[I want to see a woman cracking walnuts with a burdizzo and then give me a wink – awesome!]
One of the beautiful things about the Burdizzo is the way in which it crushes without cutting. Just think of all the things around the house that you might like to crush. For example, we are told that it is best to crush the stems of many varieties of cut flowers before putting them in water. This is supposed to make our flower arrangements last longer. The Burdizzo makes this an easy task.
You must be very careful to keep everything clean. Remember: “Sloppy ********** means lower profits.”
Here is original link to ad: http://www.believermag.com/nonbookreviews/tool_emasculatone.php
My girfriend and I together have been starting to do “********** play”, so we look around online to see ********** tools and stories. The following is an advertisement we found for a burdizzo tool. My girlfriend (her English is better) and myself changed some of the words to make a fun reading (I put in some comments too). Hope you enjoy it too!
TOOL
THE BURDIZZO® EMASCULATONE 9
Price: $45.95
FEATURES:
Comes in a variety of handy sizes for store in pockets or purse.
Non-slip molded plastic handles, easy to pull close.
Wide opening clamp for large oversized testicles.
The Burdizzo Emasculatone is an elegant little tool especially suited to crushing the spermatic cords of the male. It really helps to make a neat job of what would otherwise be an unpleasantly messy endeavor, and the Burdizzo achieves the goal of bloodless ********** admirably.
When a woman needs to ******** a man, she has many options. She can use a small, sharp knife, for example, and have a lady friend hold the man down so that his testicles are exposed and to be sure that he won’t move around too much. Then she can use her knife to make an incision through which the testicles, separated from the spermatic cords, can be removed.
There is also something called an elastrator, a tool that positions a rubber band tightly around the scrotum of the male. Not long after the band is applied, the testicles will dry up and you are all set.
Yes, there are other tools, but by the far the best one is the Burdizzo Emasculatone. It is relatively painless and it lessens the possibility of infection since there is no open wound for parasites to move into. In fact, the Burdizzo never even breaks the skin.
To use, you need one male (preferably young) and a Burdizzo of the rightsize. While the 9” and 12” models are good for young boys, for sexually mature males a woman will want to use the bigger sizes.
Make sure that the Burdizzo is working properly before you begin. A “sprung Burdizzo” (one that does not close completely) will not successfully neuter your man.
Have a friend restrain the man and find the spermatic cords. They will be about the thickness of a pencil and there will be one leading to each testicle. Choose a side and position the Burdizzo so that it completely covers one side of the upper scrotum and one of the spermatic cords. Clamp down and count to ten or twenty. Then repeat with the other side. You should pay careful attention to the site for the next few days to make sure the ********** has been successful. If your man is successfully neutered, the testicles will be reabsorbed into the body, and along with them his chances of procreating or creating awkward and embarrassing situations in the neighborhood.
[I enjoy that last sentence, probably the reason most women would ******** their man.]
[Only a woman would think of the next paragraphs, and just the type of woman I want to meet. ******** me with her burdizzo, and then use it joyfully about the house, all the while giving me a winning smile each time she pulls it closed.]
We know that the Burdizzo is excellent at the task for which it was designed, but it has a surprising variety of other uses around the home. It is quite easily adapted to making ravioli, for example, and produces a lovely crimp at the edge of the pasta. The 9” Burdizzo is perhaps the most efficient at this job, though for making outsized ravioli the 12” or even the 14” Emasculatone would do nicely. The Burdizzo is also about right for cracking either lobster shells or nuts. (N.B.: Great care was taken to avoid this particular reference, however, it really is quite skilled at breaking open all variety of tree nuts, including pecans, hazelnuts and walnuts.) People who find the pseudo-military dress, too-toothy grin, and balletic implications of the traditional holiday nutcracker man disturbing may want to replace him with a Burdizzo.
[I want to see a woman cracking walnuts with a burdizzo and then give me a wink – awesome!]
One of the beautiful things about the Burdizzo is the way in which it crushes without cutting. Just think of all the things around the house that you might like to crush. For example, we are told that it is best to crush the stems of many varieties of cut flowers before putting them in water. This is supposed to make our flower arrangements last longer. The Burdizzo makes this an easy task.
You must be very careful to keep everything clean. Remember: “Sloppy ********** means lower profits.”
Here is original link to ad: http://www.believermag.com/nonbookreviews/tool_emasculatone.php