Post in here if you have been ashamed of your fetish

[Bloke]

First thing: there's nothing to be ashamed of and I know that now!


Ever since I first realized I had fetishes, when I was pretty young, I have been incredibly ashamed of them and felt like I was an evil sinner for liking girls feet and being turned on my the idea of femdom and CBT. Only now, in my mid-twenties have I realized that there's nothing wrong with it at all and it's perfectly natural. In fact I now see that people who are only turned on my tits and ass and straight intercourse and the ones who are missing out!


But who else has felt the same. Like you should hide your desires and feel ashamed of them?

[Alec Anaconda]

My sex education consisted of misinformation from rumours and religious dogma, played out against a background of parental silence on sexual matters.

Masturbators were destined to loose their sight.
Fornicators were riding a fast train to hell.
And any poofter who became entrapped by the law spent years in jail.

Never mind guilt from a fetish, any sex outside of marriage was wrong.

Nobody told that young man how to wank.
Perhaps, if they had, he would not have discovered the beauty of pain.

Now I celebrate my sexuality.

Alec Anaconda

[Bloke]

Well done you. People like you are heroes. :)

We live in a diseased society where the oppressors are the real sinners, and in my honest opinion there is a Hell, but it aint reserved for people like us!

[M.H.]

Well i'm in my first half of the twentys and i'm ashamed of my fetish ^^" ... i never told someone before ... i mean i don't think i'm going to hell for it (if there is one ^^) but i'm more afraid of the reactions of my environment ... so if i would tell my (future)girlfriend what will she say ... will she think its disgusting? not all people are that open-minded ... what is if she know it, the relationship breaks and she tells everbody what my fetish is ... i dont think that would be very pleasant for me ^^"

so i ban my fetish to the internet ^^"

[Alec Anaconda]

Bloke: Well done you. People like you are heroes.

That is the nicest compliment I’ve ever received in the years I’ve been using this forum.
Thank you.

I certainly don’t consider myself heroic in any way.



To M.H.
I don’t believe in an afterlife, especially the heaven / hell indoctrination nonsense used to enforce compliance.

However, if you set up home with a sexually incompatible woman, I suggest this could be hell on earth.
Will you make love to her, than get your true satisfaction sitting in front of a screen?

Unless you think BDSM could be a passing phase, why not search for a suitable female, rather than looking for a “normal” woman and then risking attempting to change her.

Alec Anaconda

[jay1234]

I know there is nothing wrong with these fantasies, but since we are a minority I think some people might be weirded out.

[Dreihundert]

I don't want people to know about it, which makes it a sort of pain in the ass... I guess that's being ashamed.

The only sexual desires that are wrong are the ones that involve doing something wrong, such as:

-Non-consensual sex (As in ****** sex or that with an unwilling dead body/animal/child)
-Sex with prepubescent children
-Getting sexual gratification by harming people.

Anything else is totally fine by me. I don't like some of the stuff that's out there, so I avoid it. For instance... I don't like scat, I don't like cock torture, I don't like blood, I don't like human toilet or foot fetish videos, so I don't watch them, and move on to what I do like. I don't waste my time flaming the people who do like it or spreading hate messages.

As soon as people understand "to each his own", then the world will be a lot less stressful. But even here at femaledom.com we're not totally immune.



To M.H.
I don’t believe in an afterlife, especially the heaven / hell indoctrination nonsense used to enforce compliance.

However, if you set up home with a sexually incompatible woman, I suggest this could be hell on earth.
Will you make love to her, than get your true satisfaction sitting in front of a screen?

Unless you think BDSM could be a passing phase, why not search for a suitable female, rather than looking for a “normal” woman and then risking attempting to change her.

Alec Anaconda

Aye. This is why finding a partner is very hard for me. I won't settle for any guy/girl who isn't sexually compatible with me.

[dharkbus]

I have never confided in anyone that I liked futa. I've confided once or twice in a significant other about bb.

but I'm a fairly shy guy when it comes to sexuality

[lisbonballs]

Well done you. People like you are heroes. :)

We live in a diseased society where the oppressors are the real sinners, and in my honest opinion there is a Hell, but it aint reserved for people like us!

that's right! but another question came to my mind, this kind of fetish exists cause of this diseased society ( well since human kind ) so why should we feel ashamed of the hipocrit opressors, if they are also a product of this society??

maybe this world it's manipulated by them, and that way it's hard to someone who feel pleasure in the "fetish way" to talk and live that sexuality without feeling opression...i'm not ashemed of ballbusting, but i'm ashemed if i know someone who could be interesting for ballbusting ( like a woman i know ) and i couldn't talk with her cause of that sense of opression.

[Chilly]

I've said in other threads that I would gladly switch my fetish with someone who finds satisfaction with plain vanilla sex.

But we live in a less than truthful world, don't we?

How do any of us know that people who claim to have no fetishes...
actually have no fetishes?

Nobody really knows what goes on inside our neighbors' closed bedroom doors.

Those of us who post here are at least honest enough to admit our kinks. What if people who claim to be sexually pure are, in reality, some of the biggest hypocrites in the world?

For all I know, maybe the greener grass I seek doesn't even exist at all.:confused:

[Alec Anaconda]

Exactly who is responsible for defining what is vanilla and what is fetish?

These ideas vary with time and place.

It’s not that long ago that oral was generally considered the height of depravity!


Alec Anaconda

[EricaBB]

Exactly who is responsible for defining what is vanilla and what is fetish?

These ideas vary with time and place.

It’s not that long ago that oral was generally considered the height of depravity!


Alec Anaconda

Indeed, throughout history, sexuality and sexual ideas have changed.

Examples:

"Pederasty in ancient Greece was a socially acknowledged relationship between an adult [male] and a younger male usually in his teens.[1] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eromenoi#cite_note-0) It was characteristic of the archaic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archaic_Greece) and classical periods (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_Greece)." from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eromenoi

But then, in the middle ages:

"Through the medieval period, homosexuality was generally condemned and thought to be the moral of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodom_and_Gomorrah)." - from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_human_sexuality#Greece

In modern times, polygamy and homosexuality are seen as wrong, which in turn I see as wrong, because I'm a polygamous bisexual woman.

I usually look at it and refuse to give a shit what is socially acceptable, because I get one lifetime on this earth, and there's absolutely nothing to look forward to after death, so I'm going to do what I enjoy in life, because nothing is going to hold me back from it.

[Chilly]

I guess I've always judged by the sheer amount of plain porno sites on the web. Kinky sites seem to be very much in the minority by comparison.:(

[Alec Anaconda]

Chilly: I guess I've always judged by the sheer amount of plain porno sites on the web. Kinky sites seem to be very much in the minority by comparison.

I expect that you, like me, have only sort out variations that interest you.

Obviously, we sometimes detour into areas that fleetingly catch our attention and either add a new interest or forget about them.

Again, definitions are far from standard.
Some regard vanilla between different “races” as a kink; I do not.

I wonder, if one counted all the vanilla and then all the multitude of kink sites, what the result would be.

Alec Anaconda

[Chilly]

In modern times, polygamy and homosexuality are seen as wrong, which in turn I see as wrong, because I'm a polygamous bisexual woman.

I usually look at it and refuse to give a shit what is socially acceptable, because I get one lifetime on this earth, and there's absolutely nothing to look forward to after death, so I'm going to do what I enjoy in life, because nothing is going to hold me back from it.

Wow! A female Captain Jack Harkness!:D I am impressed!http://gopher65.com/images/drwho/CptnJckspikyerHsltA.gif

[aaaan2000]

Yep shame comes with fetishes ..

[Chilly]

Shame is one thing. There are other side effects to consider, too.

Remember that vengeance thread that somebody posted here about a month ago?

How many of you thought, even for a split second, "omg, somebody's hacked into the registration info"?:eek:

Let's face it, this kind of stuff is perfect blackmailing material. Apart from the shame, a life can be completely ruined by this kind of exposure.

Example: the Star Wars kid. All he did was dance around in front of a camera. And he became the laughing stock of millions. He needed psychiatric help and to be placed in a completely different school. One can only imagine the merciless razzing he must have had to endure.:(

[EricaBB]

Shame is one thing. There are other side effects to consider, too.

Remember that vengeance thread that somebody posted here about a month ago?

How many of you thought, even for a split second, "omg, somebody's hacked into the registration info"?:eek:

Let's face it, this kind of stuff is perfect blackmailing material. Apart from the shame, a life can be completely ruined by this kind of exposure.

Example: the Star Wars kid. All he did was dance around in front of a camera. And he became the laughing stock of millions. He needed psychiatric help and to be placed in a completely different school. One can only imagine the merciless razzing he must have had to endure.:(

Don't forget little fatty from china.
http://www.slideshare.net/debasish/little-fatty-chinas-internet-hero

But, he managed to work things out well.

It's like sex scandals with famous people, take Tiger Woods and Former President Clinton for example. Although those were cheating scandals, the same effect would happen to us on a minor scale.

What I do behind closed doors and on the internet is something very many people don't know about... I wouldn't like for it to come out, because as a female, I would be regarded as basically an evil sadistic bitch.

So yes, it makes perfect blackmail.

[Alone_4ever]

Hi all , my personal fetish who i like is :
Licking girls feet
Cock trample ( bare foots or nice heels )
CBT ( ballbusting , giving needles & spikes over my foreskin )
and i also fantasize about ********** ( but fantasizing only :D ) i know thats the thing whose can you feel only once at all life and i love some sexual praktics .. than i need my balls & cock :-) i wish you all , to fullfill all of your sexual/feitsh dreams ...
_______
I'm meeting with my now ex-girlfriend, and practicing these things. I was with her two years, and now I'm trying to return to her. As for the pages he was clearly sexual goddess (though to be 116 pounds), but her feet are totally amazing, ( her breasts were number five ) if I can add their photos (if any I have) .. Now I have no one ..
sorry my wrong English, but I use a translator

[squashedbananas]

I feel ashamed of my fetish.
I know I am not supposed to have to feel ashamed, but I do.

[unbusted(sadly)]

I too feel ashamed, I like to watch the ballbusting videos and look at the pictures. I am arranging to see a mistress to bust my balls but sometimes I think why do I like this fetish, is there something wrong with me?

I understand why women like it but reading some post I realise that most men really enjoy it.
I do fantasise about being busted, I would when I was a bit younger ask certain women to do it. Then when they said no I felt ashamed because I liked something most people frowned on.

The truth is now I am learning to deal with it and to my surprise the shame is disappering.
The way I did it was some people like oral sex, some people do not,some people like to be spanked and some do not.
I like ballbusting but some people do not so be what you want to be and do not be ashamed like a was for years.
This is a good site to express your self (sometimes).
If you are into ballbusting but your partner does not know just let them know your fetish and talk about it, what ever it is.
Just one more thing and this is from experience of speaking to women, let them know your limits and make sure they respect them, or you really could get hurt so start slowly then build up. That is what I was told.
DO NOT BE ASHAMED IT IS YOUR FETISH!
Thank you for reading this. unbusted(sadly):ibow4u: :thumbup :wooow :jumpsmile :iluvu:

[aniMALE]

What I do behind closed doors and on the internet is something very many people don't know about... I wouldn't like for it to come out, because as a female, I would be regarded as basically an evil sadistic bitch.

So yes, it makes perfect blackmail.


Kick and stomp my balls to a mush or else I will tell everyone on the board that you like to kick balls!!!!! :cussing::cussing::cussing:

[skweezme]

I usually look at it and refuse to give a shit what is socially acceptable, because I get one lifetime on this earth, and there's absolutely nothing to look forward to after death, so I'm going to do what I enjoy in life, because nothing is going to hold me back from it.

I love your attitude, EricaBB! Came to a similar conclusion myself, when I thought if there'd be anything I'd regret on my deathbed (it was just one of those nights :( ;) ) There was.

All my life I've had fantasies about having my balls tortured by a sexy sadistic woman. I'm not bothered about why, or anguished about it. Not ashamed of it but have mostly kept quiet about it for practical reasons.

But after that "one lifetime" moment I decided I needed to do something about it and have found a wonderful ProDomme who's encouraged me to go into my fantasies honestly and explicitly with her. And she's blended them with her own preferences and pleasures and what she's found other masochists enjoy.

So am I glad I took the plunge? You bet I am!

Do I feel ashamed about what I'm doing? Not at all! In fact I feel proud to be playing for real!

Do I blab to everyone about it? Of course not. Not because I'm ashamed, but again for practical reasons of discretion on both sides.

Recognising that people around us can be narrow-minded about stuff that deviates too much from the average (and that's the only way that my desires are deviant) isn't the same as being ashamed about my own desires.

[Alec Anaconda]

skweezme:
Do I blab to everyone about it? Of course not. Not because I'm ashamed, but again for practical reasons of discretion on both sides.

Recognising that people around us can be narrow-minded about stuff that deviates too much from the average (and that's the only way that my desires are deviant) isn't the same as being ashamed about my own desires.


Apart from wishful teenagers, does any normal person discuss the intimate details of their (so-called normal) sex life in public?

Such matters are private.

Even with a good friend, starting a conversation on a sexual matter can easily be interpreted as a proposition.

Alec Anaconda

[squashedbananas]

I just read this article here http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37455920/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

Maybe it is the risk in ball busting that also makes me ashamed? just a thought.

[reginauld]

I kind of feel ashamed. I'm not religious in any manner so I'm not worried about divine repercussions, but I don't like the fact that I'm aroused by something that could cause me harm. I'm perfectly fine with my foot fetish, but bb is something that I would rather live without. I tend to look at things in an objective manner and, no matter how you look at it, a living organism that desires or enjoys its own destruction in some form or another is abnormal.

Beyond that, we do kinda live in a society where what people think and how they perceive you directly affects your life. The way I see it, as long as you're not doing something criminal or hurting someone maliciously, whatever you like is fine by me. Sadly though, not everyone agrees. People are stupid. If they don't understand something, their natural tendency is to fear and reject it. Despite the fact that I would like to express myself freely without being judged, it's not going to happen anytime soon. I don't foresee a future where respected people can openly discuss their obscure sexual preferences without feeling a massive backlash of hate and disgust.

[MasonM]

I was ashamed for several years. I really started becoming intrigued by busting when I was like 12 or 13 and it really took off from there. I was raised religious but I left all that behind as a teenager.

Still I had to guilt of taking pleasure in something that could actually hurt me if I wasn't careful.

I came to terms with a lot of that, realizing that limits have to be set, and the action has to be consensual. As long as both parties are consenting adults and it's not out of control, there's little reason to feel concerned I think.

The whole pleasure/pain thing is a fascinating realm.

[Alec Anaconda]

squashedbananas: Maybe it is the risk in ball busting that also makes me ashamed?

Funny thing, risk.
Be the first to climb a mountain, free dive to a new world record or win a heavyweight boxing title and you are a hero.

Drive a car too fast or crack the wrong joke in the wrong place and you’re a reckless fool.

Maybe it is the risk in ball busting that makes it exciting!

Alec Anaconda

[Minor G]

[quote=squashedbananas;79753]I just read this article here http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37455920/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

That is wrong - ambushing and doing that is different to those who consent to it.

I suppose I'm not really ashamed but I would prefer that it remains private.

[Teardrop]

For me, a little bit of shame is part of the fun of having a fetish. Like knowing it may be shocking or offensive to others, but doing it anyway.

Being a little outside of ordinary society can be very cool as it makes me feel like a bad-ass. :)

[skweezme]

For me, a little bit of shame is part of the fun of having a fetish. Like knowing it may be shocking or offensive to others, but doing it anyway.

Being a little outside of ordinary society can be very cool as it makes me feel like a bad-ass. :)

To me, what you've just said about how it makes you feel isn't shame at all, but some sort of justified pride in being different! I feel the same, even though I can't be open about it for practical reasons. But it's not for reasons of "shame".

What is a shame is that so many folk have such a bad feeling about their kinks and fantasies. And in terms of putting it into practice, "Safe, Sane and Consensual" just about says it all for me. Nothing shameful there.

[Castratrix's pet]

I have a fantasy and a fetish which are interrelated but different.

My fantasy is not ballbusting. my fantasy is femdom **********, surgical ********** performed by a woman where all those watching and/or assisting are women.

My fetish is sleeves. Me in a long sleeve shirt with my sleeves down and my arms covered completely to my hands in long sleeves. The castratrix wearing a long sleeve shirt with her sleeves rolled up above her elbows.

I don't know that I would say I'm ashamed of them. They are a part of me, I didn't create them or put them there, they are for some reason just a "natural" part of me and who I am. So I don't feel ashamed of them or ashamed because I have them.

For a long time I felt I was the only person who had femdom ********** fantasies and fantasized about a woman surgically ********** me, and because I have those fantasies and thought I was the only one I felt there was something wrong with me that I was not normal. Then I found sites like Eunuch Archive and this thread here at Femaledom.com and I realized I'm not the only one, that there are others who also have femdom ********** fantasies. It turns out that femdom ********** fantasies are not all that rare, a number of people have them.

I no longer feel there is something wrong with me. Knowing there are many others who also have femdom ********** fantasies helped me a lot to no longer feel there is something wrong with me. I now know it is not an uncommon fantasy.

Even so, very early in this I knew that femdom ********** fantasies are not something most people would consider to be normal. Again that brings up the question of "what is normal?" Because most people would not consider these fantasies to be normal, I am concerned that if people knew I have femdom ********** fantasies they might not understand and get the wrong idea about me, so I keep my femdom ********** fantasies to myself.

So I don't think I'm ashamed of them. I think it's more that I realize that others might not understand.

[obedientesticle]

Good question. There may be no reason to be ashamed to just have the fetish or dream about it, but I am not so sure if one shouldn't be ashamed of doing it. Pushing the borders is exciting. But how can you talk about no one is being harmed in sadomasochism? Yes, you can take care, you can go to a doctor or Psychiatrist after you have been harmed or have harmed others. But stil the more extreme might be the more exciting. So how is nobody harmed? Even in the femdom fetish, just all this female superiority stuff may excite me in my fantasy. But would this really be good for me as a man and would it be good for the world to loose the "real men" (who are not inferior at all, the talk about female supremacy and presumed scientific proof is just biased and looking only at one side)? I clearly don't think so. But I can't help feeling excited fantasizing about being dominated... So if you do not feel ashamed at least you cannot forget what you do to your surrounding. Any other opinions?

[Alec Anaconda]

ObedientTesticle has raised some interesting, deep questions.

I wonder if they deserve a separate thread.

Alec Anaconda

[EricaBB]

ObedientTesticle has raised some interesting, deep questions.

I wonder if they deserve a separate thread.

Alec Anaconda

"Real or Fantasy?" is a good thread for those questions, but I think they fit well in here.

I would not oppose a different thread for those questions.

[randombustee]

I guess ashamed may be a little strong of a word...

I dunno about you guys but I am fairly secretive about it, it's something I only divulge to someone I am in a relationship with!

I dont think a fetish or a kink is something to be ashamed of, but I think it should stay between those you invite into your bedroom ;)

Luckily I havent yet been in the position with a partner where she found it weird or off putting, the people I have trusted the information with have reacted favourably... I guess thats the whole idea, if you feel they will react badly you wouldnt tell them ;)

[Teardrop]

To me, what you've just said about how it makes you feel isn't shame at all, but some sort of justified pride in being different!
I don't really know what to call it exactly, but there is something stopping me from being completely open about my fetish.

Although I'm comfortable discussing my fetish with like-minded people here, I probably wouldn't be first in line to buy a t-shirt with a slogan that tells the world "I like getting kicked in the balls".

I suppose I'm slightly secretive by nature, so I'm careful about who I share my fetish with. Maybe I'm just enjoying the underdog aspect of having my own thing that sets me apart a little bit.

[obedientesticle]

Well yes, I tend to think maybe too far. I don't take back what I have said (another thread for these questions would be interesting to read, yes), but for many activities there should be minor "damage" problems and grown-ups should know for themselves, if they want to risk their balls... but think twice before ********** and maybe spare one ball for the hard times :jumpsmile.


"Real or Fantasy?"

To see something real is always more exciting. But it will be healthier for the extremest fantasies to just read a story or view some of the cartoons or 3D virtual stuff... (which in some cases can even add aspects which cannot be found in reality)

For me it would be an interesting and exciting step if I had the opportunity to start some real, but mild femdom stuff like facesitting, milder ballbusting and cbt play. If you do not exaggerate, this should do no harm at all and would be exciting enough when done by a real woman than just surfing crazy internet porn and behaving like a spectator in old Rome's Gladiator games. And this takes us back to the question of shame, which was answered by others here: Yes of course it could be difficult with "the others", the "normal people" (how boring) to really live this (the mild, but real form of femdom sex). But in this case I would not feel ashamed with myself or the girlfriend-mistress but only if the others came to know about it. So I might hide but not question myself in this case.

[EricaBB]

I don't really know what to call it exactly, but there is something stopping me from being completely open about my fetish.

Although I'm comfortable discussing my fetish with like-minded people here, I probably wouldn't be first in line to buy a t-shirt with a slogan that tells the world "I like getting kicked in the balls".

I suppose I'm slightly secretive by nature, so I'm careful about who I share my fetish with. Maybe I'm just enjoying the underdog aspect of having my own thing that sets me apart a little bit.

I've always been extremely secretive. I did bust a lot of balls when I was younger but still I didn't make it obvious. I'd always make a reason to do it and blame it on the guy. And when I grew up it became sexual and I just hid it. I've been hiding it strongly since I was around 13. When I was 17 I picked up on how strongly it's hidden, and with my boyfriend's paranoia, it's gotten to become crazy. Like, saved stuff from this website is encrypted, other things unrelated are encrypted, we use anti-keylogger encryption, and internet history is always deleted instantly.

Hehe, I suppose you could say we don't want Big Brother to know about us. Or, he doesn't. I just don't want my friends and family to know.

[Gibbonator]

Ashamed is not quite the right word for me, though it's certainly nothing to be proud of. If I could vanquish these deviant urges overnight I'd do it. But I can't, so I struggle on. I never used to believe that there was anything really wrong with it but after a lot of careful thought and reading I'm beginning to change my mind. I understand that the urges may be with me for the rest of my life, but that I have a choice about what I do with those urges. Hopefully, my will will become strong enough for me to be able to keep on the straight and narrow.

[Penson]

I feel very ashamed about my fetish. At the age of 13 or 14 ich always tried to find a girl that hit or kicked me in the balls. I always said to them, your are not brave enough to do it. It was like playing a game. They often lough and said they would do it with the right reason, but found it funny.
Only once i meet a girl that tried to hit me in the balls but we were interruped bevor she hit me at the right place and afterwards she would not do it again.

Now I'm older and I feel ashamed and there is no possibility to find a girl that play that with me like a game. So I can ask a woman and it will be a fantasy für me.

penson

[kestrel]

I had never told other gf's that I wanted my balls busted. Then I didn't tell my current gf that I liked having my balls busted but I did ask her to slap my balls --- which she did. Now I tell my gf's I have a bb fetish and want them squeezed. It's difficult to broach the subject and may turn some women off but I lie and tell them it doesn't hurt. They find it weird but usually agree to it. I'm thinking about asking my present gf for a (light) knee, but I'm not sure how she will react. That might be pushing things a bit too far.

[Alec Anaconda]

Very good questions from ObedientTesticle

Pushing the borders is exciting. But how can you talk about no one is being harmed in sadomasochism?
Any worthwhile activity involves a degree of risk.
I recon that most ball sports are more dangerous than an average SM session.

So how is nobody harmed?
A satisfying sex life improves longevity.

Even in the FemDom fetish, just all this female superiority stuff may excite me in my fantasy. But would this really be good for me as a man and would it be good for the world to loose the "real men" (who are not inferior at all, the talk about female supremacy and presumed scientific proof is just biased and looking only at one side)? I clearly don't think so.
I agree.
Any type of “supremacy” be it male, female, white, black etc is wrong and soul destroying for the excluded.

----------------------

However, as fiction, role-play and an alternative to the missionary position, sadomasochism can enrich lives.

Alec Anaconda

[PlayfulSqueeze]

I think that because it's an interest/fetish that involves harm to one's self, people view you differently. This is especially true because of the part of the anatomy that's the focus.
But society advocates harm to the male genitals through movies, television, and ads. I think there's a lot of closet busters and bustees out there. Perhaps I'm wrong.

[dark_herc]

all it takes is a girl who you shared these "secrets" with to blab it to a friend who is worse with gossip than any girl i have ever met, and before you know it all your close friends know. ha. and just recently as we were being introduced to a good friends of ours close friend at college it was brought up. now that's one hell of a icebreaker in my opinion. as long as you are comfortable with the company you keep then i dont think they should care what you like. even if our fetish is a little odd to the masses. now family would be a little different ha.

[Chilly]

But society advocates harm to the male genitals through movies, television, and ads. I think there's a lot of closet busters and bustees out there. Perhaps I'm wrong.

This is a good point. I'm not so sure that this sort of thing is a societal advocation, anymore. I've begun to suspect that the people who make these kinds of movies, TV shows, and ads ARE the closet fetishists, themselves.

Oh, they can try to hide it with various high-minded sounding excuses, but the fact is mainstream movies make more money when they do not include scenes of brutality to the male genitals. So they can't use the hogwash that the public is clammoring for it. It isn't.

But you can't really apply sadistic tortures to any other subdivision of humanity in a film nowadays without offending one powerful watchdog group or another. Males (WASPs in particular) are a safe target to shoot at. And in the film industry, time is money.

So, males are portrayed as cretins in TV ads, who need rescuing from whatever stupid situations by their oh so much smarter spouses who come in and save the day with the sponsor's product.

If you need an idiot in a family sitcom, that's what Daddy is for.

And, of course, if someone's reproductive organs need destroying in your movie, you better damn well make sure that they are male ones AND that said victim has been portrayed prior to that scene as "asking for it." Then you stand a good chance of even getting laughs and applause.:(

It's a matter of not enough people getting mad enough about it to say enough is enough. I think that the average male's philosophy on the matter is "better that doofus on the screen than me."

[Teardrop]

Hehe, I suppose you could say we don't want Big Brother to know about us. Or, he doesn't. I just don't want my friends and family to know.
I think part of the reason that we end up keeping secrets from friends is the commonly negative portrayal of S & M that emerges from the mass media and the state, which often shows a real lack of understanding of sadomasochistic relationships. Even among those who consider themselves to be broad-minded and liberal and in favor of equal treatment for people of all sexualities, when their thoughts turn to S & M, they find it hard to see the distinction between consenting partners as opposed to a relationship that is held together by a form of domestic violence.

People who have fantasies of getting hurt are portrayed as having a freaky maladjustment to ordinary relationships, while those who are the "s" in S & M are portrayed as if they are borderline criminal abusers for enjoying hurting someone. In reality we are neither.

In the past few days, I read a disparaging newspaper review of "The Killer Inside Me" movie along the lines of "will only be of interest to sadomasochists". Given that this type of brain-dead casual prejudice still exists, it's no surprise that we feel the need to keep secrets.

[f360ridaz]

I fantasize about being sexually teased until I cum, at the point which my superior female partner castrates me. During the teasing, she would say things like: "you better not cum...you're not allowed to, or else I'll cut your balls off." I would only become more aroused, and she would naughtily laugh as we both knew the inevitable. "I'll cut your balls off, and put them in a glass jar so everyday you will be reminded of the man you used to be. You'll remember that your goddess ********* you.