An Idea for a more creative mind..

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

So I am about to sleep but just thought of this and had to jot it down quick..

It seems all of the ballbusting stories I have ever read have been directed towards the male reader and the aspects that would turn the male on.. I am not sure exactly what I would change to Target the interest of the female that is new to busting or is considering it. Obviously the points that turn the female on will be slightly different... I am interested in any attempts that a few of you with better writing skills and a short period of time could come up with! It's clear that there are more men into this then women but maybe with some time and creativity we could raise the percentage of women interested in these awesome fetishes of ours! Just a thought, hopefully I get a good response because I don't think there are any men on these forums who believe there isn't room for more women on these forums! Thanks for your considerations and any attempts in advance!

[dark]

Women are not so much into porn in general. Chick Flick is the porn for women in you wish.

So let me write some keywords poping into my male brain: Shoes (specify and describe: Karen Millen, Dune, DKNY, Prada), Galmour, Romance and good looking, athletic, charming guys.

[dark]

... ah I forgot. If your target audiance is young women, then add depressed good-looking vampires in your script. It always sells ;)

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Hahaha shit that's a good one. I think my girl and I will try and start working on a story tonight. The more pointers, the better! I will try and see what fits together the best for us!

[Snoodle]

... ah I forgot. If your target audiance is young women, then add depressed good-looking vampires in your script. It always sells ;)

'Good looking' is optional. They seem to become more popular the more greasy, pallid, and awkward they get.

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

If everyone keeps pushing this I might have to incorporate it in! :-P

[Alec Anaconda]

MagnumXL9Jock2Bust: It seems all of the ballbusting stories I have ever read have been directed towards the male reader and the aspects that would turn the male on.. I am not sure exactly what I would change to Target the interest of the female that is new to busting or is considering it. Obviously the points that turn the female on will be slightly different... I am interested in any attempts that a few of you with better writing skills and a short period of time could come up with! It's clear that there are more men into this then women but maybe with some time and creativity we could raise the percentage of women interested in these awesome fetishes of ours! Just a thought, hopefully I get a good response because I don't think there are any men on these forums who believe there isn't room for more women on these forums!

…

I think my girl and I will try and start working on a story tonight.



I wish you every success with your story.

But I suspect that a short period of time may prove inadequate.


If you’re in a hurry, I suggest you look at works from the writing queen of FemDom Susan_Strict (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&aut=49&in=88)


Other female FemDom authors worth consideration are:

Marla_Jacques (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&pr=2492&in=88)

Tanya_Snegirova (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&aut=116&in=88)

Candace_Smith (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc& aut=578&in=88)


Perhaps the extracts may give you further ideas.

Regards,
Alec Anaconda

[Anymous1]

Although this comment is basically inconsequential to the original post I just want to say to "Dark" that it is not necessarily fair to assume that a women are not into porn very much. I came upon a recent statistic and although I cannot remember where it came from I do remember reading their research methods and they seemed pretty good (considering the available information they have to go by). Anyway the statistic basically said that around 48% of all online adult website subscriptions are held by women. Keep in mind that almost every country on Earth has a higher female population than male population as well, which is worthy of consideration. There was a substantial amount of analysis and a few other statistics that essentially stated that the female demographic is not only the fastest growing demographic with respect to porn consumption (a broad and complicated aggregate statistic) but is currently a major target demographic at the present time.

It is also noteworthy to mention the undeniable fact that women are socialized very differently than men in the USA and around the world, which likely contributes to statistics underestimating how many female consumers of porn their are. Women are socialized to ardently deny their acceptance, support, and interest in pornography whereas men are socialized to be far more comfortable with admitting their interest in it. Granted that most people (male or female) will deny publicly that they watch or purchase pornography.

The power of socialization is strong and it often manipulates us in believing things that are not actually true at all.

Anyone have any opinions.

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Well, yes, the more time invested the better but I work 65+ hours a week and I originally was just hoping some1 would jump on the idea with a better background with such skills and maybe feel some type of inspiration on their next story. Just a thought. Maybe an excerpt or two from a few people with specific thoughts that would entertain the average female and put a few ideas into her head of the gratification she could receive from a good busting session. You know, more the psychology of it and a few angles that might interest the new shy female debating entertaining the thought of busting her man and I'm just brainstorming in text right now but I know it can sometimes be a little difficult to convince a virgin buster to give you a good kick.. I have read about plenty of guys with the issue of "how do I get her to bust me for the first time?"

There is obviously no manual to this kick start of the fetish.. couldn't resist.. so maybe a subtle start to the story and what not.. I'm not so sure just yet.. just throwing out ideas to the sexperts!

[dark]

Although this comment is basically inconsequential to the original post I just want to say to "Dark" that it is not necessarily fair to assume that a women are not into porn very much. I came upon a recent statistic and although I cannot remember where it came from I do remember reading their research methods and they seemed pretty good (considering the available information they have to go by). Anyway the statistic basically said that around 48% of all online adult website subscriptions are held by women. Keep in mind that almost every country on Earth has a higher female population than male population as well, which is worthy of consideration. There was a substantial amount of analysis and a few other statistics that essentially stated that the female demographic is not only the fastest growing demographic with respect to porn consumption (a broad and complicated aggregate statistic) but is currently a major target demographic at the present time.

It is also noteworthy to mention the undeniable fact that women are socialized very differently than men in the USA and around the world, which likely contributes to statistics underestimating how many female consumers of porn their are. Women are socialized to ardently deny their acceptance, support, and interest in pornography whereas men are socialized to be far more comfortable with admitting their interest in it. Granted that most people (male or female) will deny publicly that they watch or purchase pornography.

The power of socialization is strong and it often manipulates us in believing things that are not actually true at all.

Anyone have any opinions.

that's sounds good and I don't have any reason not to believe you. Sometimes I prefer to be wrong.

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Well.. we won't be starting this story tonight as planned.. she has gotten a little too worked up and now says she has something special planned for me tonight.. could be bad! Looking forward to reading more ideas. Keep brainstorming please :)

[Mythical Pain]

You wanna make one that appeals to the average woman?

For one thing, don't make it porn! Not at all.

De-emphasize all the usual detail when it comes to the actual ballbusting. Males with a thing for it often love to read about "cute feet slowly squashing his tender balls" and what-not. But if the woman doesn't have it as an actual fetish, that's not gonna appeal to her so much.

And if you go the "women like shoes" route, don't describe the shoes in TOO much detail. A foot/shoe fetish approach is gonna go way overboard what any woman would be interested in.

Make it a good story! Give it a plot, characters she can connect with. Give her a reason for kicking some balls in, be it defense, anger, revenge, or even to please a man who loves who happens to enjoy it.

Perhaps emphasize the fact that woman are an equal for men when they go for the balls, even stronger then the men dropping to the floor. But don't go overboard.

Basically, emphasize plot, character, maybe some romance, and de-emphasize the actual "ballbusting fetish" part of the story.

That'd be my advice anyway.

[EricaBB]

I can't speak for all women, but I can speak for myself.

Certain things need to be done with stories to make them connect with women.

1. There needs to be a storyline, and one that is built creatively and built onto during the story. It shouldn't jump right into "She's a hot girl, she kicks me, ooh my balls kick kick..."
2. Most stories dedicate a paragraph or two describing the woman. Few go further than a sentence to describe the man. Ex.

"I'm about 6'2, 180 lbs, blond hair, blue eyes... Kathrine is an elegant, beautiful woman. Her legs are long and tan, her eyes radiate a mystical greenish-blue. When she walks, her body sways with beauty, as if she were an angel sent by God. Her breasts bounce perfectly with each step..." etc, etc.

3. Give everyone a name, seriously.
4. Know when to say "he/she" or the actual name. Introduce the character and then use he/she until another character is being referred to. In that case use the name.
5. Don't start every sentence with the same word. "She kicked me in the balls. She then kneed me in the balls. She then grabbed my balls" can be changed to "She kicked me in the balls, then kneed me when I rose. And before I could react they were in her grasp!"
6. Stop using Cliche characters. eg. cheerleaders, nurses, secretaries, teachers. And if it must, create an individual and unique dress and personality.
7. Perhaps someone could write a story from the female perspective? It can't be that hard to imagine. Instead of reading "...I felt her foot pressing my balls into my stomach", I'd like to read "I felt his balls against my foot as they fled into his abdomen." I can relate to this.

And those are not just because it will make women read them, but also because that's how erotica SHOULD be written.

[EricaBB]

'Good looking' is optional. They seem to become more popular the more greasy, pallid, and awkward they get.

Yeah... Robert Pattinson isn't even remotely attractive.

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Outstanding! Everyone is coming up with some quality information! I do agree that it should be from the point of view of the woman. I am glad some of you are definitely putting some thought into this!

[Alec Anaconda]

Maybe it’s time for someone the write this story.

The question is who will rise to the challenge?

From the comments to date, it seems the author should have many of these qualifications:

1. Female.

2. At least a basic command of English.

3. Able to write a list of requirement for a good narrative.

4. The experience, compulsion and the time to write on BB matters.

I think that a poster, to this thread, fits all four.


---------------------


Nobody commented on my links to female FemDom authors.

Okay, call this commercial if you will, but these are women writing as a hobby.

Like me, they don’t do this for a livelihood.

Susan_Strict (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&aut=49&in=88)

Marla_Jacques (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&pr=2492&in=88)

Tanya_Snegirova (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&aut=116&in=88)

Candace_Smith (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc& aut=578&in=88)


Alec Anaconda

[obedientesticle]

1. Female.

2. At least a basic command of English.

3. Able to write a list of requirement for a good narrative.

4. The experience, compulsion and the time to write on BB matters.


I agree, thist would be good!


Nobody commented on my links to female FemDom authors.


I will look more into that, thank you very much - for the quick start, I looked at the following from Susan Strict: http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?cat=&pr=1690 - "Girls School"

I like those stories where a more experienced woman teaches the unexperienced to loose their inhibitions and just use the male as an object - even if it might be painful for the male. Or stories where the women take the ability and rights to make decisions step by step away from the male and introduce and invite their female friends to also use the male at their will. So, a humiliating experience for the male with the women more and more ignoring his sensitivities. I think I read similar stories which were supposedly written by females, and saw this in femdom porn with groups of girls. Even if you never really know in the internet if a supposed female writer is a female in reality.

For a softer beginning, why don't you start with a woman talking to her female friend about her boyfriend/husband, that she is unsatisfied/unlucky with his behavior and what she could do about that. Then she might be surprised by her girlfriends opinion, that she should use some bodily punishment to educate, or better: "work his mechanism". Maybe like the little electroshocking device which is really about to be sold on this website: http://www.dreamloverlabs.com/ .

There, they state, they are not into torture, and the site is supposed to be run by women. It might be a hint that they are really women, because in my opinion, it is some kind of (mild?) torture. Then, in your story (or even different stories, if there are other female authors to write on this theme), you could let the disappointed girl convince her boyfriend and try this, but with time, try out more and other punishments, e.g. ballbusting, if he does not fulfill her wishes and she could (or could not, your choice) get more sadistical, receive orgasms from doing things (like the facesitting in the Susan Strict Link) to him and also invite her female friend(s)...

Well and so on - what is your (and the females) opinion about using something like that?

[obedientesticle]

Although this comment is basically inconsequential to the original post I just want to say to "Dark" that it is not necessarily fair to assume that a women are not into porn very much. I came upon a recent statistic and although I cannot remember where it came from

...

The power of socialization is strong and it often manipulates us in believing things that are not actually true at all.

Anyone have any opinions.

By the way, thank you for your interesting post! It also could be interesting if you found the source of this statistic, but I also tend to believe it...

[Mythical Pain]

Maybe it’s time for someone the write this story.

The question is who will rise to the challenge?

From the comments to date, it seems the author should have many of these qualifications:

1. Female.

2. At least a basic command of English.

3. Able to write a list of requirement for a good narrative.

4. The experience, compulsion and the time to write on BB matters.

I think that a poster, to this thread, fits all four.


---------------------


Nobody commented on my links to female FemDom authors.

Okay, call this commercial if you will, but these are women writing as a hobby.

Like me, they don’t do this for a livelihood.

Susan_Strict (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&aut=49&in=88)

Marla_Jacques (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&pr=2492&in=88)

Tanya_Snegirova (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&aut=116&in=88)

Candace_Smith (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&%20aut=578&in=88)


Alec Anaconda

I think there's at least a few who fit three of the four. A woman would definitely be best but a man could do so as well. Plenty of male authors write about compelling female characters in the world of fiction, after all.

But yes, a woman would probably do it best! :D

[EricaBB]

The question is who will rise to the challenge?

From the comments to date, it seems the author should have many of these qualifications:

1. Female.

2. At least a basic command of English.

3. Able to write a list of requirement for a good narrative.

4. The experience, compulsion and the time to write on BB matters.

I think that a poster, to this thread, fits all four.


Interesting.

I see your hint, and I don't know if I'm up to the challenge.

[Alec Anaconda]

Hi obedientesticle,



I’m glad you enjoyed the extract of Girls_School_by_ Susan_Strict (http://www.a1adultebooks.com/site.php?id=annoc&pr=1690&in=88)
As you state, you cannot be certain of an author’s gender on the net, but historically a woman using a man’s penname had far better change of publication.
Can one even be sure of gender in the real world?

Erotic “torture” is certainly more in the mind than the body.
The crossover point from good to bad extreme sensation is very personal.
Even in fiction, I have a line I don’t cross.

You have some interesting ideas.
Perhaps you would like to compose a story.

--------------

Hi EricaBB.

Interesting.
I see your hint, and I don't know if I'm up to the challenge.

As Mythical Pain states, “I think there's at least a few who fit three of the four.”
I’m glad that you see a match, for so do I.
But this is your decision.

--------------

Hi All,

I think that many people who use this forum have a book hiding within them.
Most will never write that book, and they will die knowing that they could have written a splendid book.
For those that never try to write their book can never fail.

Having said that, perhaps it’s best not to make the commitment, until your story nags you to allow it a life on paper.

The nearer your narrative is to your own experiences, desires, dreams and fears, the more you expose your inner self, your soul, to public scrutiny.
A little like walking, naked and aroused, down a crowded local street.

--------------

However, we started this thread with “a BB story from a woman’s viewpoint”, not a book.

I think EricaBB, and others, could do this.
I’ll only criticise, good or bad, if solicited.


Alec Anaconda

[obedientesticle]

Hi obedientesticle,
As you state, you cannot be certain of an author’s gender on the net, but historically a woman using a man’s penname had far better change of publication.

I don't know if I got that right, but I imagine, for femdom literature it would be the other way round...



Can one even be sure of gender in the real world?


Interesting thought. I think I agree with you. My personal opinion is to try sex reversal thinking for the purpose of self training of ones mind, this will even help you to become a very nice and social person to others and is absolutely not wicked and not even out of moral. But I would also recommend to act in accordance with your real biological sex and learn from the typical types how to use what you have been given. Of course, in many of the cases this does not take too much training, because it is what is called "normal". Oops, that was a long speech agian, sorry...



Erotic “torture” is certainly more in the mind than the body.


Agreed.



Even in fiction, I have a line I don’t cross.


Is this the line of your personal taste or is it just because you don't want to show special fantasies to any other others? (If so: Why? Because you're ashamed or because you think this would not be good "for the world"?)



Perhaps you would like to compose a story.


Yes, maybe, but probably not now. Maybe I should start something in private and see if it could be a good story. There would also be language problems. My English might be too poor to really build up good rich images in good quality.

[Alec Anaconda]

Alec Anaconda: As you state, you cannot be certain of an author’s gender on the net, but historically a woman using a man’s penname had far better change of publication.

Obedientesticle: I don't know if I got that right, but I imagine, for FemDom literature it would be the other way round...

Yes, this seems logical, but I have no figures.
If wish I knew why one books sell millions but another similar book flops.

I do know that many authors use more than one pseudonym.




Alec Anaconda:Even in fiction, I have a line I don’t cross.

Obedientesticle:Is this the line of your personal taste or is it just because you don't want to show special fantasies to any other others? (If so: Why? Because you're ashamed or because you think this would not be good "for the world"?)

This is the way I live and how I wish to live.
I don’t want to mutilate or maim, and I don’t want to be damaged.

Many of my fantasies, and too many of my experiences, are in my fiction.
Clearly, I can go further in make-believe than in reality, but I have to remain legal and within the less liberated standards of the banks.

However, I don’t like heavy horror, and see no point writing a book that I will not enjoy reading.


Obedientesticle:My English might be too poor to really build up good rich images in good quality.
Then again, it might not.
You clearly take pride in your writing, and ideas are more important than linguistic precision.
Perhaps the female perspective is most critical.

- - - - - - - - - - - -


Just an idea, maybe a group effort is needed here.

Alec Anaconda

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Clearly there are several of you with quite a bit of talent. I would like to see what someone can come up with. I have serious time constraints with my career so I feel I could not create a quality piece. I def would like to see what Erica could come up with

[obedientesticle]

I have serious time constraints with my career so I feel I could not create a quality piece. I def would like to see what Erica could come up with

Well, same for many of us, probably - so then we begin to understand why women (and other authors) (have to) take money for this... I expect there would have to be a big "please, please Erica..." but maybe she's also busy with other things... Or just someone who writes a story himself. Like I said, I also think about it sometimes, but also time constraints (and not meeting all your criteria)...

[Alec Anaconda]

obedientesticle: so then we begin to understand why women (and other authors) (have to) take money for this

For me, and I expect many other authors, the money is not my main motivation.
I could earn more if I spent the time searching for coins on a beach!

It’s not even the unobtainable dream of seeing a best seller in every book store and knowing,
‘I wrote that.’

It’s not the need to allow my stories to live, or the desire to know how they finish.

It is the recognition that I have produced a worthwhile product; a book that people are prepared to spend just a little to read.


Alec Anaconda

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Let me know if anyone thinks this is a good start..


Chapter I
The Discovery
It started just like any other day. Shower, get dressed, drive to work.. Morning meeting and prepare myself for another day of serving horny old rich men in my short skirt at the clubhouse. I work for a private golf resort in North Carolina during the summer to pay my own way through college much like many women my age, 20. I have always considered myself to be a pretty normal person. Divorced parents, my dad ditched us when I was in kindergarten and my mother has had to raise us three girls by herself. Men came and went from our lives but we always seemed to make things work and we all have turned out pretty damn good considering. I am the middle child. My older sister, Kasey is 23 and is an assistant manager for Sears where she has worked since high school. My younger sister, Ashley is a junior in high school and cheerleading is her life. Then there is me, Nicole. I just finished my second year of college at UNCW. I did well enough in high school to get most of my college paid for but I still need all the help I can get financially for the rest of life’s bills and whatnot. This is my third year working for Sunset Hills private golf resort. My manager loves me and calls me ‘Miss Dependable’ because I am yet to miss a day of work or be late. I cannot afford to, I know what I need to earn during the summer to live comfortably during the school year and I take my schooling VERY seriously. Now that you have a little background on who I am as the average 20 year old college student it is time to explain the chain of events that introduced me to my dirty little secret. My new addiction. A fetish commonly called Ballbusting…
:letsplay


Okay.. obviously i am not a professional writer and i have never tried to write from a female perspective before but hell noone else was trying.. Im sure everyone has their own ways of doing things but i just want to know if anyone thinks i should continue with this story or continue waiting for some1 more qualified to write one and scrap this. Thoughts?

[Alec Anaconda]

Please keep writing.
This is a good introduction.

Alec Anaconda

[Alec Anaconda]

It is one thing to start writing a story, but quite another to finish it.

Did anybody progress beyond the first page?

Alec Anaconda

[smackMyNuts]

Some years back, I wrote a story from the first person perspective of a female ballbuster.

http://bbstories-number2.blogspot.com/2007/08/revenge-night.html

There may be some others in the archive if you look, but it's not really organized.

Smack

[smackMyNuts]

I should add, having reread my story after I posted the link to it (I wrote this more than 10 years ago, and hadn't reread it recently), that it doesn't really otherwise meet the criteria that Erica suggested. It's much more of a straight-to-the-action story. None of the characters, for example, were given names. I generally write longer more involved stories with names, and more plot, more characterizations, descriptions of both the male and female characters, and usually third-person perspective to allow me to step inside the head of either character when appropriate rather than tying down into a strictly male perspective. I also generally write stories which don't get finished because they're complex and I want to get them entirely correct before releasing them and not put them out in half-finished form. This one was written because I had so many half-stories sitting around and so many bits where I had written five pages of set-up and zero pages of action before losing interest and starting something different that I wanted to write something with about one paragraph of set-up and that I would get finished and released quickly. It's not as polished as some of my other work, but I did have a woman in a chat room tell me that she loved that story and liked to imagine that she was the main character, so I can say that it speaks to at least some small percentage of female ballbusters. I should probably do a rewrite to add a little more description and polish in places.

Constructive criticism is welcome. (And, to head off any questions, no I'm not a woman, I just wrote a story from the perspective of one. (And to head off any questions about that, yes, like five people asked me that when I originally posted this story, but it doesn't mean that I think that most people who read this are dumb enough to make that assumption.))

Smack

[Alec Anaconda]

Revenge Night by Smack My Nuts




Some years back, I wrote a story from the first person perspective of a female ballbuster.
http://bbstories-number2.blogspot.com/2007/08/revenge-night.html



I’ve only just read this short story and I enjoyed it, thank you.

First person present tense can be tricky, but you handled it well.

Alec Anaconda

[teenguy]

I wrote a snippet once. I'm certainly no author, but it looks like this:

“Why do you expect me to stop squeezing your balls? As long as you want to wrestle me, I’m going to do it!”
“But it’s not fair” groaned Matt.
Christine rolled her eyes, then said “Fair is a place where hogs compete for ribbons”,
“Yeah, but fair also applies to fighting” pleaded Matt, gasping for breath.
“Fair fight?? Hah!” Christine squeezed for emphasis. “If we are playing basketball, and you can’t block my shot, I’m going to keep shooting until you stop me! So by the same token, as long as we are wrestling, I’m going to keep squeezing your balls until you figure out a way to get me to stop!”
“But it’s not fair…”
“Stop whining Matt!” Christine looked into his eyes. “It’s not my fault you have testicles! As long as you have them, I’m going to keep kicking them, ok? And if you don’t like it, either find a way to stop me, or don’t wrestle me. I think it’s perfectly fair. Besides, you seem to like it. You always leave yourself wide open, so don’t complain. Since you are stronger than I am, I think it’s only fair that I get to kick you down there”.
Matt sighed, then conceded that it indeed was fair enough. He wished that he didn’t have to cover his balls all the time, but such is life, and it’s not fair.

“You know why I like squeezing your balls Matt?” Christine looked into Matt’s deep blue eyes. Matt stared back, admiring her gorgeous naked body, and replied “Because you are really kinky?”
“No, not just that” she said with a smirk. “It’s because testosterone is what makes men stronger than women. Testosterone is produced in the testicles, and lots of it. So if your balls are the source of all your power, and I want to neutralize your power…then I need to attack the source!”
Matt gave a blank stare. “So…you like having power then”? he stammered.
Christine moved right next to Matt on the couch, and ran her slender feminine fingers down Matt’s chest. Matt could only stare at Christine’s body, and her perky breasts, and her sexy toned stomach…and her feet. She had amazing feet! She had just gotten a pedicure recently, and she painted her toenails his favorite color. As Matt was distracted by Christine’s feet, she ran her hand down his bladder to his penis. Matt seemed to be unaware or apathetic of her intentions, so she reached below to his balls, and wrapped her fingers around them. She admired their size for a second. Yes, this guy was quite well endowed, and big balls to boot. Christine laughed silently at her own joke, then squeezed his nuts firmly so he made a noticeable squeal.
“See, this is the power I have over you. Not only can I dominate you with my irresistible body, and my charm, but I can always resort to squeezing your testicles, and there is nothing you can do about it, because you like it too.” Christine took a second to admire her triumphant words of victory before releasing Matt from her death grip. He fell back into the couch and curled up into the fetal position.
When Matt recovered, Christine said “It’s getting late. Do you want to spend the night or go home?”
Matt didn’t want to be inconsiderate, but she was offering, and…
“Sure, I’ll spend the night.”
“Good call”
She led him to her room, and she got in her bed. Matt just stood there.
“Hey, are you going to show off your dick or get in bed with me?”
Matt smiled inwardly. She always had a way with words. “Sure, I’m coming”.
“I’ll bet you are, you sick pervert.”
Matt laughed, and got into bed with her. He put his arm around her, and she put her arm around him.
“Good night Christine. I love you.”
“Good night. And get your hand off my crotch before I slap you in the face.”
“Sorry. Never seen or felt you there before.”
“Yeah, remind me to keep my pants on next time.”
“I will. Good night.”
“Night.”
They fell asleep together, horny and happy. Christine wouldn’t admit it, but she was extremely horny, and she liked his hand on her groin, and…she loved him.
“No, I don’t! I can’t! Matt is the biggest loser in the world! How could I fall for such a dorkwad? What does that make me? No! He is so fucking annoying, he doesn’t understand my subtle cues, he doesn’t have a clear direction of what he wants, he doesn’t SHUT THE FUCK UP!, he makes me feel nervous in public, and…he makes me feel good. Fuck! I hate you Matt!” She cried inwardly at her own weakness, her inability to contain herself around him. “At least he isn’t a sex mongerer, but…that’s why I like him so much! I can be myself around him! I can say or do anything, and he still loves me in the morning! God, I can’t tell him how I really feel about him…what will he say? What if I scare him? Hell, I’m scaring myself. What will my parents say? What about my sister? What about my friends?”

Christine decided she needed to make a choice, and fast. Before it was too late. She was falling for him, and she hated every minute of it. Yet at the same time, she felt like she was queen of the world as long as his arm was around her. What’s a girl to do?






Now, is this perfect? Hell no. A little too much detail in the first half. Is it the right idea? I think so. I think the characters are defined enough just with that little bit. If I was a girl, I would give that maybe 5 out of 10 if I was in a good mood. But I'm not a girl, so...yeah.



I can't speak for all women, but I can speak for myself.

Certain things need to be done with stories to make them connect with women.

1. There needs to be a storyline, and one that is built creatively and built onto during the story. It shouldn't jump right into "She's a hot girl, she kicks me, ooh my balls kick kick..."
2. Most stories dedicate a paragraph or two describing the woman. Few go further than a sentence to describe the man. Ex.

"I'm about 6'2, 180 lbs, blond hair, blue eyes... Kathrine is an elegant, beautiful woman. Her legs are long and tan, her eyes radiate a mystical greenish-blue. When she walks, her body sways with beauty, as if she were an angel sent by God. Her breasts bounce perfectly with each step..." etc, etc.

3. Give everyone a name, seriously.
4. Know when to say "he/she" or the actual name. Introduce the character and then use he/she until another character is being referred to. In that case use the name.
5. Don't start every sentence with the same word. "She kicked me in the balls. She then kneed me in the balls. She then grabbed my balls" can be changed to "She kicked me in the balls, then kneed me when I rose. And before I could react they were in her grasp!"
6. Stop using Cliche characters. eg. cheerleaders, nurses, secretaries, teachers. And if it must, create an individual and unique dress and personality.
7. Perhaps someone could write a story from the female perspective? It can't be that hard to imagine. Instead of reading "...I felt her foot pressing my balls into my stomach", I'd like to read "I felt his balls against my foot as they fled into his abdomen." I can relate to this.

And those are not just because it will make women read them, but also because that's how erotica SHOULD be written.

[Alec Anaconda]

Perfection is only for the gods, teenquy.

I enjoyed this “snippet” and think you have a good understanding of women and their battle with double standards.

You’ve left me wanting to know how this relationship will progress.

Alec Anaconda