Private Conversations

[EricaBB]

I love this forum, and more so, I love to chat with girls and guys in private messages and on my YIM. (Cybersex, I guess. It's gotta be some sort of mental addiction).

But I get so much crap in the process. There's certain things that I hate. But I don't know how to meet people who won't break the little rules in my head.

I want to talk to guys and girls online who can type in legible English, and who keep it realistic. I suppose I should like write a generic reply to every P.M. explaining my expectations and rules or something.

Any advice? How do you filter things out to find the people who are interested in just chatting?

[finally]

Any advice? How do you filter things out to find the people...Downgrade your requirements? :D

:bananajum

[One from the Vaults]

Hey. I'm interested.

I've never once posted on a website like this asking to talk to a woman about my fetishes, and a large reason why I haven't is because I find the way that other men do it so repugnant, and I didn't want to be one of them. Since you seem to be of the same opinion, I'm interested.

Mind if I send you a PM?

[Ketchupman]

I think you can find people you want by reading their posts on the forum. There you normally get an idea on how that person thinks:
- sex, sex, sex
or
- let's talk about sex, I would love to have sex with you but I know it's not going to happen
or
- let's talk about sex because it's fun

you can change sex by bb, it's just an example.

I think the 2 last groups are the best to chat with. I think I'm in the second group, what do you think? :P

[Bekzide]

go to:

http://kickedinthegroin.ning.com

I can recommand that page for chat, lots of men and women there;)

[juggalosnyder]

Thank you for that link. It even has a mobil verdin for my ipod. That is a huge plus to me!

[Jenny69]

I don't log on that much, enjoy PM but never have the time to get to all the messages. :wooow


Jenny

[mick_sl8ter]

MSN, Yahoo, all that stuff. I stopped using them a long time ago.
It is all a waste of time.
I find other means of communication far more satisfying.

[Teardrop]

I want to talk to guys and girls online who can type in legible English, and who keep it realistic. I suppose I should like write a generic reply to every P.M. explaining my expectations and rules or something.
Erica, you could get people to sign a contract which states that they must pay a deposit of 100 dollars into your account before they can start mailing you. Then if you read something that is displeasing to your eye, they lose their money. At least this way you get to earn a profit from the trash that people send you.

[Xelnaga]

I don't know what your rules are, but I don't see anything wrong with being upfront and honest. If you have certain rules, I'd think it would be ok, even wise, to make them known early. Not to do so could end up wasting both your own and others' time plus other unwanted complications.

Your own reply idea may be the best thing. Send a generic reply with your rules. If the other person can deal with them, great. If they cannot, they have fair warning to move on. It's better than them being a surprise later on.

[ThomHow]

I want to talk to guys and girls online who can type in legible English, and who keep it realistic. I suppose I should like write a generic reply to every P.M. explaining my expectations and rules or something.

Erica,

I think it's just best to be clear what you want out of the chat. It might put off some people, but then again aren't those the people who would not meet your expectations anyway? You can always ask them what they want to show it's a two-way street.

Tom

[MasonM]

I've spent my share of time on places like Yahoo chat and Omegle.

About one in every 100 chats is interesting or worthwhile.

Best thing you can do is just be up front and let people know what you want to talk about and what you don't.

PM me if you want, I love to talk. :)

[EricaBB]

MSN, Yahoo, all that stuff. I stopped using them a long time ago.
It is all a waste of time.
I find other means of communication far more satisfying.

Like the telegraph? You've always struck me as a person who is stuck in the past.

[finally]

You've always struck me as a person who is stuck in the past.:D

But another thing, now really:

Any advice? How do you filter things out to find the people who are [...]Do you really think "we" guys get PM's? :Baahaha:
I mean, ok maybe I'm wrong and it's just me; let's ask:
Guys, has anyone here ever gotten a PM from a girl wanting to chat or anything? :)

[mick_sl8ter]

Like the telegraph? You've always struck me as a person who is stuck in the past.

Text communication (overall ) does not trigger any emotions whatsoever with me. That is why I only read books for practical information.

Digital audiovisual communication does add emotion to communication over the internet, but I find it a very poor surrogate for real life interaction.

Especially when it comes to sexuality.

[Xelnaga]

:D

But another thing, now really:
Do you really think "we" guys get PM's? :Baahaha:
I mean, ok maybe I'm wrong and it's just me; let's ask:
Guys, has anyone here ever gotten a PM from a girl wanting to chat or anything? :)

Here or anywhere?

Here, no. Elsewhere, yes, but only when they had the (mistaken) impression I was already taken at the time. For some, there's no greater attraction then someone who's already spoken for. :confused:

[sloguy]

i suppose talking with people here in the forum would be a easy option for you. if you listed your chatting rules in your profile then those who wanted to talk with you could see what your expectations are and then you would filter out the honest people who are competent enough to respect your guidelines. after that the only people who would talk with you would be those who are too stupid or rude to go by what your asking for, or would be those who understand and are willing to agree and follow your wishes. at least that way using the ignore function of the forum you could filter out the time wasters. get rid of the grey area, sort to speak. granted its a small pool of people to talk with, but at least you would know that the people talking with you are like, a little. you can look at their forum posts and see what sort of writer your dealing with.

or just browse peoples post history here in the forum and message them privately with your rules and see if they are interested in talking with you.

[MagnumXL9Jock2Bust]

Yeah, guidelines would be legit. I enjoy the occasional pm. Unfortunately the first time I ever pm'd someone that I was interested in conversing with on this forum I misquoted and made myself look foolish and then I was covertly humiliated in a very smooth, respectable manner.. so atleast I know what not to do.. haha
If you have come up with some personal guidelines I would like to receive them in a pm if you are interested

[Cirus]

:D

But another thing, now really:
Do you really think "we" guys get PM's? :Baahaha:
I mean, ok maybe I'm wrong and it's just me; let's ask:
Guys, has anyone here ever gotten a PM from a girl wanting to chat or anything? :)

Just checked my inbox and I have had two from girls on this site, very nice too. More on other sites. Usualy to do with the fact that I am into ball stretching, to please my wife. So maybe low hangers are an attraction to some girls. Certainly easy to get hold of.

Just stay positive and I am sure one of the nice girls on this forum will send a message.

As regards this post, I can understand the dilema. I would suspect that both party's, like the idea of anonimity, and dont want to get too close. It gives more freedom to talk openly and hopefully inteligently. It must be very dificult for the femail members of the forum to even raise this subject as they probably will get bombarded with pm's as soon as guys think they are accesible. I would expect that there are a lot more guys on this forum than girls, so the odds are that they will be swamped.

I would think that a good rule would be that the girl make the first contact and make it very clear when she has had enough of a particular contact. Hopefully the guys on this forum will be mature enough to get the message.

cirus.

[finally]

Just stay positive and I am sure one of the nice girls on this forum will send a message.

:D Yes, that's just what I sayed.

[dark]

I don't get it... What is the point of having a pm conversation here?
I am not a girl. I never had a pm about my personal life and neither send a pm. But let me imagine a few things that are being asked to girls to see how predictable horny guys are: -What would you do to my balls? -Have you ever kicked a guy in the balls? -You can kick my balls anytime. -Can you describe the first time that you kicked a guy in the balls?

...oh come'on guys, give them a break.

[obedientesticle]

I don't get it... What is the point of having a pm conversation here?
I am not a girl. I never had a pm about my personal life and neither send a pm. But let me imagine a few things that are being asked to girls to see how predictable horny guys are: -What would you do to my balls? -Have you ever kicked a guy in the balls? -You can kick my balls anytime. -Can you describe the first time that you kicked a guy in the balls?

...oh come'on guys, give them a break.

When I read this, I question myself if it is OK to teach girls to bust balls for self defense - because it seems it is not a method to repel males but to make them run after the girl and beg for even more... (well girls, men are sticky...):Baahaha:

[EricaBB]

When I read this, I question myself if it is OK to teach girls to bust balls for self defense - because it seems it is not a method to repel males but to make them run after the girl and beg for even more... (well girls, men are sticky...):Baahaha:

Haha, maybe we should teach young girls to refuse to kick balls for self defense.

Or we should teach them to shove their fingers up people's noses... I can't imagine very many people enjoying that. :Baahaha:

[dark]

Haha, maybe we should teach young girls to refuse to kick balls for self defense.

Or we should teach them to shove their fingers up people's noses... I can't imagine very many people enjoying that. :Baahaha:

Haha you reminded me a joke:

The masochist says to the sadist:
-Please hit me, please, i beg you!
And the sadist replies with an evil smile:
-NO!

[One from the Vaults]

Haha, maybe we should teach young girls to refuse to kick balls for self defense.

Or we should teach them to shove their fingers up people's noses... I can't imagine very many people enjoying that. :Baahaha:Actually I know a girl who did that. This old man creepily hit on her on the street and didn't want to take no for an answer, so she stuck her finger up his nose and then walked away. Apparently he had absolutely no idea how to react and so just stood there dumbstruck for a couple minutes.

When she posted about it on Facebook the next day about 10 people "liked" it.

[dark]

Actually I know a girl who did that. This old man creepily hit on her on the street and didn't want to take no for an answer, so she stuck her finger up his nose and then walked away. Apparently he had absolutely no idea how to react and so just stood there dumbstruck for a couple minutes.

When she posted about it on Facebook the next day about 10 people "liked" it.

Everything can be a paraphilia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

[One from the Vaults]

and? The vast majority of paraphilias are extremely rare. Or, more precisely, unique. They form out of the eccentricities of the relationships between geography, individuality (genetics, personal history, etc) and the social realm as each intersects with the individual's sexuality. Because the most relevant factors will almost always be highly contextual, the vast majority of fascinations which will form cannot be meaningfully stripped of context: only that person could possibly have that kink. That ceases to be the case, however, as the important contextual features become increasingly common: very few of us consider our noses to be extremely important sexually, but MANY (possibly most) of us consider our testicles to be important sexually.

[obedientesticle]

Haha, maybe we should teach young girls to refuse to kick balls for self defense.

Or we should teach them to shove their fingers up people's noses... I can't imagine very many people enjoying that. :Baahaha:


Everything can be a paraphilia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_paraphilias

Veeery interesting! As it is only a matter of the sexual context (similar to the development of a femdom fetish out of frustration), it should be possible for a good mistress to condition her slave to feel sexually aroused when beeing stick her finger in his nose. OK, it will not be as easy as the balls, therefore, for the more advanced mistresses and slaves. And then, we could add a term like "nasopenetratophilia" or something like that to wikipedia!!!:wooow

[One from the Vaults]

Well, no. Paraphilias are generally more fundamental than that... we generally form them during early sexual development and then are mostly left with the cards we're dealt once we hit adulthood. It's possible to develop new ones after that but it's not something you could do reliably. At best you could behaviourally condition somebody to respond with arousal to the stimuli, but that's very superficial, not as deeply rooted in the psyche as a real fetish.

[obedientesticle]

Well, no. Paraphilias are generally more fundamental than that... we generally form them during early sexual development and then are mostly left with the cards we're dealt once we hit adulthood. It's possible to develop new ones after that but it's not something you could do reliably. At best you could behaviourally condition somebody to respond with arousal to the stimuli, but that's very superficial, not as deeply rooted in the psyche as a real fetish.

Thank you for your explanations, I like to learn, seriously! But I hope you noticed that I was not too serious in my former statements...;)

[tasslehoff]

I love this forum, and more so, I love to chat with girls and guys in private messages and on my YIM. (Cybersex, I guess. It's gotta be some sort of mental addiction).

But I get so much crap in the process. There's certain things that I hate. But I don't know how to meet people who won't break the little rules in my head.

I want to talk to guys and girls online who can type in legible English, and who keep it realistic. I suppose I should like write a generic reply to every P.M. explaining my expectations and rules or something.

Any advice? How do you filter things out to find the people who are interested in just chatting?

Hi Erica,

It's cool to see a woman posting here. I don't know about you but for me ball busting is a way for a woman to show her superiority. How easy it is for her to bring a man down to his knees.

I don't know if I meet your rules but I would love to chat with you.

Tasslehoff

[OneBalledBoy]

Hi Erica :ibow4u:

My guess is that it is very wise to state your rules relatively upfront... and to shed a little light on your expectations as well.

I've chatted with lots of people at http://kramtoad.com/chat5.html and at http://kickedinthegroin.ning.com. It really takes chatting with ten people at the very least, before finding one who can express himself/herself properly without rudeness.

Luckily I've made a few acquaintances within the BDSM scene, and it gets to be a lot more fun once you can move conversations to YIM, or Live Messenger... A few have become real friends now!

Best!
Oneballedboy



I love this forum, and more so, I love to chat with girls and guys in private messages and on my YIM. (Cybersex, I guess. It's gotta be some sort of mental addiction).

But I get so much crap in the process. There's certain things that I hate. But I don't know how to meet people who won't break the little rules in my head.

I want to talk to guys and girls online who can type in legible English, and who keep it realistic. I suppose I should like write a generic reply to every P.M. explaining my expectations and rules or something.

Any advice? How do you filter things out to find the people who are interested in just chatting?

[aniMALE]

The problem with http://kickedinthegroin.ning.com (http://kickedinthegroin.ning.com/) is that the owner is totally crazy and he sometimes mass ban people at random cause they don't contribute enough, cause he doesn't like their profile, cause he doesn't like them and he continually blames the members and wants to be thanked cause he is offering a service for free, members are ungrateful freeloaders etc.

The people who tried to complain, even in a respectful way, for the mass bans were banned too.

There was a very long thread that I can't access anymore (so I can't link it) of people complaining for his behavior, with people begging him to not ban them and with people asking him what should they do to not get banned, this was getting ridiculous. Some people followed his orders, like they updated their profile, contributed more etc. and they were still receiving random ban threats.

[curmudgeon]

I have had just the opposite problem from the site. I want to cancel from it and it won't let me. Just keeps sending me mass emails that the owner wants money or the site will close. I didn't like it so I don't plan on supporting it. Yet I can't get the emails to quit, no opt out option.

[bthauronite]

I have had just the opposite problem from the site. I want to cancel from it and it won't let me. Just keeps sending me mass emails that the owner wants money or the site will close. I didn't like it so I don't plan on supporting it. Yet I can't get the emails to quit, no opt out option.

"Report as Spam"

[Dusk_Wolf]

Hi. I'm not entirely sure if you mean you expect guys to pay, or just to be civil, respectful, and NOT ask for your personal and contact information. I'll assume it's the latter, in which case I would love to chat with you some time. Only if you wish, of course.

[Takethemboth]

fundamentally, i think the problem is the guys who respect people's personel space and dignity won't pm women on the site.

the way i see it, there's about 1 women to every 5-10 men, i imagine most woman's inboxes are over flowing.

[mick_sl8ter]

fundamentally, i think the problem is the guys who respect people's personel space and dignity won't pm women on the site.

the way i see it, there's about 1 women to every 5-10 men, i imagine most woman's inboxes are over flowing.

I think they are just sad. Digital stalkers / losers.

I am talking about the internet in general, not just this forum.
People need to realize that one's sex does not matter in cyberspace.
( Unless you intend to meet that person in a real life situation later on. )