Ballbusting teen fiction

[the_tree]

Just something I whipped up a while back, I'll continue writing it if people like what they read.
***

It was nine at night, the park was empty, and I was about to meet up with the girls.
The girls were Lauren and Katie, two seventeen year old girls from one of the local council estates. Both were svelte, aggressive and above all, gorgeous cockteases with a liking for kicking men in the balls in general, and in particular destroying mine. Our arrangement was simple, we would meet up in an out-of-the-way place, I would bring them money, cans of beer, packets of smokes and some weed, and in return for my financial worship I would receive a sound beating, including the more or less total destruction of my balls. The pair of them had nothing but contempt for me, in fact I was pretty sure Katie hated my guts, but they accepted my money and tribute willingly and took a seemingly genuine delight in breaking down my manhood.
Both looked pretty similar, Katie was a couple of inches shorter the Lauren, but they were both nicely curvy in that firm way seventeen year olds are. Their hair was dark brown, Lauren wore extensions, and invariably tied in a tight top-knot. The girls both hid their pretty faces beneath layers of make-up and proudly sported enormous pieces of gold jewelry, some pieces I had given them the money to buy. In their tight sports clothes, they looked every bit the stereotypical young, aggressive British chav sluts.

I approached them through the park warily, but they quickly spotted me and ran up to greet me.
Katie did so by slapping me hard on the face.
"Hey, bitch," she taunted with a wink. Lauren just stood back and ran her tongue across her lips at me. Both of them routinely teased me almost beyond endurance with no intention of letting me anywhere near them beyond our infrequent ballbusting sessions when they needed the money.
"What yeh got for us then, mate?" Lauren asked. I obediently reached into my pocket, produced two large decks of cigarettes, each wrapped in a twenty pound note. They snatched them off me quickly along with the bag of cans I was carrying. I half-smiled at them and waited for them to open a can each.
"Nice one, mate," Katie mocked, "who wants a good bash then?"
Like a good, obedient bitch, I opened my legs for the girls to begin working on me.

***

Like I said, I'll write more if people want. This is actually based on something that I used to do.

[Youthmane]

sounds alright so far. :thumbup

[Nadzilla]

I liked it - a lot. Keep on writing. :)

[the_tree]

I didn't have to wait long for what was coming. Katie quickly stepped forward to take advantage of my open stance. The girls were wearing big, chunky brand-name shoes which in all truth were more like boots, and when one of those slams into your balls on the end of a kick boxer's leg, you know about it. I doubled over slightly as her foot collided with my testicles, the little grunt of concentration she gave out echoed the breath I exhaled as that perfect, dull pain fired up in my groin. It wasn't nearly as hard as she could kick me, certainly not as hard as she would shortly, just a little tap to let me know who's in control.
"Katie's boyfriend broke up with 'er today," Lauren informed me, "'e was shaggin' some other lass."
I struggled to get back into my stance, "that's crazy," I said, "who'd cheat on either of you?"
"I know!" Katie exclaimed, her tone making it clear that flattery was going to get me no-where, "I'm dead nice, me." She winked, fluttered her hair a little, and drove her foot forward, this time I wasn't ready for it.
Remember I mentioned she was a kick boxer? Well Katie was the under-18s women's kickboxing local champion, and the kick she delivered here was worthy of the title. Her big shoe catapulted right into my groin, hitting both balls dead on. Her grunt of effort was noticeably louder this time, but I don't remember the sound I made, I just went straight down. Pain was engulfing me, all the tension of the relatively public place to do this was gone, subservient to the fire that had just been lit in my balls.
The girls let me lie there for a few moments, they sipped their beer and giggled to one another before Katie stepped up again and dragged me up roughly by my hair until I was in a kneeling position.
"Not done yet, mate," she said with a knowing look towards Lauren, who chipped in,
"Yeah, we're gonna go shag some lads after this, but we're dead pissed off about Katie's lad, and we're gonna take it all out on you, what do you say?"
The pain was intense, but I could just about mumble a 'thankyou,' which made Lauren giggle and Katie run her fingers through my hair roughly before giving me another hard slap,
"Good boy."

From my kneeling position I watched as Katie took a step back, I reached up to brush the welling tears from my eyes as she stopped to preen herself for a moment. She really was the perfect image of adolescent beauty, and she knew how to work every inch of it. She flicked her topknot, which fell to the small of her back, and pouted at me slightly before running her tongue over her lips the same way Lauren had when-
Once again, my balls erupted into intense, wracking pain as I realised too late that I'd forgotten all about Lauren. The little bitch had snuck up behind me while I was in pain and drove her own foot once again, hard, into my groin. I was kneeling, so her foot had less distance to travel, but she'd compensated. She made sure I felt every ounce of pressure colliding with my already battered testicles. She didn't kick as hard as Katie, but with more precision, this kick nearly ruptured my left nut. From experience I could tell you that I'd be receiving one very soon for my right.
That would have to wait, however, as I collapsed again straight to the floor. I was beaten already by these cruel, savage young bitches and I knew it. What worried me, as I fell, pathetically clutching my shattered balls, was that usually it took a few kicks before the girls had me down like this. Something was different this time, and I could tell just what.
I looked up, fighting back tears, to see Katie and Lauren lighting the cigarettes I'd bought them and looking down on me with nothing but barely concealed contempt and hatred. Cruel smiles split their gorgeous teen faces as they contemplated the work they were just getting started on.
I knew that I was about to receive a ballbusting like I'd never had before. I just hoped I could stand it.

[Alec Anaconda]

This is a most interesting start.

I look forward to the next part of your adventure.

Alec Anaconda

[poolman2]

There is some very good writing here. :bananajum

I hope the_tree will continue this story. You've very much got my interest.

poolman2

[tom77]

really like it - good writing :)

[jeenie123]

Excellent! One can rely on a good old Brit chav slapper to give one's balls a hard time! Please continue.

[mickeybb]

Nice story. Keep up the good work.

[mvp]

nice story pretty creative

[ticobritossa]

Nice! I really enjoyed the story! Sometimes it's good to read something nice to relax!

:bananad::bananajum:bananawin

[teapot42]

Am I alone in being rather keen to read the next part of this? Excellent so far - more would be very much appreciated!

[the_tree]

With my eyes murky with tears, I could just make out Katie approaching me. When she reached where I was lying prostrate, she flicked the ash from her cigarette down onto me,
"Y'alright down there, mate?" she called and gave a bubbly laugh, half the giggle of a little girl and half the mocking laugh of a truly harsh mistress.
"We're still not done with you, innit?" laughed Lauren as she went to join her friend, "we're gonna have a right laugh with you tonight." she grinned and poured some of her beer down onto my head.
All of a sudden, Katie reached down and landed a savage punch onto the back of my head.
"Get up, she said we're not done!"
Even though the pain in my balls was still like a fire, I managed to drag myself back to my knees. These weren't the type of girls to be disobeyed, not if they thought you were weak, not if you were some little perv like me who would pay them massive amounts to abuse his balls. If they decided I wasn't playing any more, I might get a lot more than my balls kicked. These girls carried knives, and with the savage beating I'd already gotten, I didn't dare make them angry.
"See, thing is, mate, you're takin' the piss out of us, aren't yah?" Katie sneered at me as she drew on her cigarette, I tried to open my mouth to tell her this wasn't so, but Lauren belted me across the face, her big gold rings like knuckle dusters. Katie continued, "you think you're better than us 'cos you've got the money to pay us to do your pervy shit for you, innit?"
"No, seriously girls, I don't..."
"Shut up, yer you do! You think we're whores! Well Lauren and me, we're gonna make you our whore tonight!"

This time the kick in the balls was catastrophic.

Imagine the pain, it was like a freight train hitting my balls, the powerful right foot of an angry, aggressive young girl who has no respect for you and nothing but contempt for your balls. I felt something rupture and I couldn't even scream, the pain was so great. I just slid forward again and began to whimper.
I could hear the girls giggling to one another, they were having the time of their lives. I was nothing to them, they knew they'd never get in trouble for this, they were enjoying the freedom to just ruthlessly beat someone.
"Aww, baby, what's the matter, eh?" Lauren said to me, "are we not your fantasy any more? Is this too much for you, baby?" She knelt down to me and pulled my head up by my hair, "if we're not your fantasy any more you can just stay down," and at that moment she gave me the most seductive, sultry look I've ever seen from anyone. Her full, painted lips with her lush, wet tongue rolling over them. Her hair, ramrod straight as she turned around to tease me. I had never wanted a woman more in my life. I had to let her know she was still my fantasy, still my princess. Even though the pain was like nothing I'd ever dreamed about, I had to show my chavvy little ballbusting goddess that she was still all I dreamed about. I rose to my knees...

...And then Katie took my balls away.

[Alec Anaconda]

That’s the end of that, for without balls how can Katie bust them.

Many of us were enjoying your narrative, but it seems finished.

However, the rules of fiction are flexible.

Might I suggest:


A blackbird’s shrill alarm cry awoke me into a shivering panic, with the revolting smell of male fox on my face.
Despite the excruciating agony in my groin, I searched my pockets to find a lighter, so I might discover where I had been lying on wet grass.
Predictably, I found my lighter missing, along with my phone, keys, money, cards and watch.
I struggled to my feet as the moon briefly appeared from behind thick cloud, just long enough for me to see that they had not moved me.

Accompany by a flash then a bang, hail begin pounding down and stinging my face.
Turning my back to the icy wind, I opened my fly to investigate my damage.
To my delight, I still had two balls!
Okay, swollen, battered and unbelievably painful, but two balls.
I must have collapsed when the pain became unendurable and lain *********** for most of the night.

As I walked, very slowly and painfully, in the general direction of the gate, I did not care that my journey home was going to be long and hard.
I was happy that Katie would bust me again.


(Please except my apology, if you were going to continue).

Alec Anaconda

[mvp]

to continue it all he has to do is say and then i woke up in severe pain but my balls were still there i imagined it when i passed out from the pain something like that

[the_tree]

Well I'm flattered people want me to continue. I did have one more post-********** chapter in mind, but if the series is being enjoyed, I can extend it.

Any BB porn producers want help writing plots? I work cheap. :bananad:

[Alec Anaconda]

the_tree: Well I'm flattered people want me to continue. I did have one more post-********** chapter in mind, but if the series is being enjoyed, I can extend it.This thread has over three thousand viewings and about ten favourable comments, so yes please, we want more, if you can spare the time.


the_tree: Any BB porn producers want help writing plots? I work cheap.Have you considered writing an erotic novel?



mvp: to continue it all he has to do is say and then i woke up in severe pain but my balls were still there i imagined it when i passed out from the pain something like thatI’m glad we agree.


Alec Anaconda

[poolman2]

the_tree,

Your writing is really quite good. The story line is interesting and enjoyable.

I'd love to read your extension. :bananad:

poolman2

[the_tree]

Well if you fine gentlemen insist, here's some post-********** teasing from everyone's favourite young bitches.
***

When I woke up, the scenery around me had changed. I felt a bed beneath me, the cool breeze of the park had been replaced with air conditioning. The all-consuming pain in my balls had died down a bit, but something still felt... wrong.
I opened my eyes and to my surprise, saw the clinical surroundings of what could only be a hospital. This was confirmed a moment later when a slender blonde nurse walked in, flanked by a stocky but incredibly busty female police officer.
"Ah, mister Tree, you're awake. Good. Don't worry, everything is okay. You're in the general hospital, you were pretty badly attacked."
"Huh?" was about all I could manage, "how did I...."
"How did you get here? You were very lucky. Two girls passed by and found you ***********, they called an ambulance on your phone."
The memories came flooding back, Lauren and Katie, the park, and that last kick which felt like it had ********* me. I tried to sit up, but I must have strained something, the fire in my groin lit up again and the nurse hurried to my bedside.
"No, no don't try to sit up. You were hit very hard in the groin, and your right testicle ruptured. The surgeon had to remove it."
Maybe I was imagining things, but I could swear the edge of her mouth twitched slightly as she fought back a smile.
"I've never seen anything like it," the police woman chimed in, "nearly no damage to the rest of you, but by God your balls took a beating. Do you remember who did this to you?"
My mind jump-started. If I told them about Lauren and Katie I'd have to confess that I had paid the young girls to kick my balls. I hadn't expected to lose my right nut, but I still couldn't come clean.
"No," I lied, "they jumped me from behind... it was dark. All I remember is the first kick then it all went black."
"Hmmm..." the busty officer said, looking me over like she didn't entirely believe me, "well we have what we found on you here. Has anything been taken?"
She produced a paper bag, which the emptied out on my bedside table. My shoes, jeans, shirt, coat along with my wallet, phone and keys. Everything I had, minus the money, cigs and beer I'd already given the girls.
"No, that's everything."
"So you were just walking through the park after dark when someone decided to turn one of your balls to paste?" she was still looking me over with the almost predatory air of authority.
"It looks that way," I said and tried to adjust how I was lying, which caused even more pain.
"I said be careful, " the nurse said, "your left testicle is still badly bruised, put too much strain on it and you might lose both your balls in one night." Again, there was that half-smile, and her cheeks flushed ever so slightly beneath her make-up. Was she... was she getting off on this?
"Anyway, if you want to make a statement you'll have to come to the station when you're a little less tender," the bitchy police woman said, "and the girls who found you said they would come to visit you in the morning. You have a lot to thank them for. Goodnight, mister Tree."
With that, the nurse and the officer turned and left. As the door closed, I could swear I heard a suppressed giggle from both women.

I didn't sleep well at all that night. I couldn't move without my one remaining ball igniting with pain, and more than once I was awoken in the night by sheer agony as I shifted in my sleep. With enough painkillers and time, however, I was eventually able to sit up. At eleven the next morning, I got my first visitors.
Lauren and Katie came strutting into the ward and marched straight up to my bed. Lauren pulled the curtain around, blocking us from view, as Katie jumped up to sit on the corner of my bed.
"Hey bitch," she said with a sly grin, "you gonna thank us for gettin' you 'ere, then?"
I was so dosed up on pain meds I could barely think about what this visit might mean, obediently I moved my legs to let her sit more comfortably and mumbled a 'yes, thankyou Katie.'
"Good boy. See? We're lovely lasses, we are. We couldn't leave our toy all alone out there."
"Yeh, you're too much fun," Lauren said as she approached. Both girls had changed their clothes, they were wearing tight-fitting low-cut tops that showed off their firm, developing breasts which were already quite big. Their hair had been scraped back into ponytails and their jeans tapered down into the same big boots which had taken away one half of my manhood.
"We 'ad a right laugh last night. Once we were done with you we went and saw those lads, they gave us a right good fucking didn't they, Lauren."
"Yeah mate. Mine was fuckin' huge. He threw me about and just fuckin' filled me up."
"We were well pissed on those cans you got us. Well worth givin' you a kicking."
At this, both girls began to giggle, clearly they were enjoying seeing me laid out like this. Lauren joined us on the bed, and they lay either side of me, their bodies pressing against mine on the small bed. I could feel their heat, smell their overpowering perfume mixed with cigarette smoke. My dick gave a jump, which only served to bring back the crippling pain in my groin.
"Aww, don't think he likes us teasin' him like this," Katie said as she reached her hand down into my surgical gown and wrapped her hand around my stiffening cock.
I couldn't speak, the pain mixed with the arousal had reduced me to the point where all I could get out was a kind of moan. The girls giggled as Katie stroked me, Lauren gave a cackle at the sight of my one remaining, very badly bruised ball. The feeling was beyond my wildest dreams, here were to perfect young dominant girls using my sexuality against me, teasing me beyond the point of endurance not even a day after they'd brutally cut my manhood in half. I'd never dared to dream I would get this close to either of them, feel them pressing against me, breathing heavily in between giggles as my cock got harder and harder, and as the pain in my groin got worse and worse under their expert stroking...
...Which abruptly stopped.
"That's all you're gettin'," Katie said, suddenly sneering and looking at me with disgust and contempt, "did you think we were gonna make you cum? Fuckin' perv."
"Yeah, you're just our bitch, see?" Lauren cut in, "and we need that ball of yours 'cos we're gonna keep havin' fun with you. Once you're healed you're gonna call us, you're gonna give us loads more money and you're gonna let us beat you around."
"'Cos we looked through your wallet when we'd knocked you out. We know where you work, and if you don't keep us happy we're gonna call up your boss and tell him you like having young lasses beat you in the balls. Don't think you'd like that, would you mate?"
Lauren stood up, her expression now matched Katie's, her teasing smile was gone, now she was just looking at me with pure hatred. Katie reached her hand down once more, and pressed her face close to mine, smiling evilly as her index finger ran down the length of my hard cock and across my left ball.
"See you later, bitch," she sneered as she brought her little finger down in the slightest tap. The pain came shooting back, and I nearly blacked out again. When I had finished writhing in agony, the girls had already left. I lay there in shock for what seemed like forever. What had started as a simple way to get my balls busted now had the makings of a living hell. Complete financial slavery to two aggressive chav bitches. I belonged to them now, and my torment was only beginning.

[Alec Anaconda]

The_Tree, OP: Like I said, I'll write more if people want. This is actually based on something that I used to do.

I’m not into ********** fantasies, but this is good fiction, so please keep writing.

I like the realism - the way you’ve recognised the severity of the injury.

I’m curious as to when experience gave way to imagination, but it would be rude to ask.

Please continue this story.

Alec Anaconda

[sethcyanide]

Yes, I happen to agree. I would love for this to keep going. It's really well written.

[poolman2]

the tree,

This is a good story. It definitely merits another chapter. Remember, if he loses both of them, he has nothing left to play with.

poolman2 :bananawin

[Samjoko]

Nice. Very Nice.

[Alec Anaconda]

the_tree:
I lay there in shock for what seemed like forever.
What had started as a simple way to get my balls busted now had the makings of a living hell.
Complete financial slavery to two aggressive chav bitches.
I belonged to them now, and my torment was only beginning.



Will you write more?

Alec Anaconda

[kneelover]

Really enjoyed your story. Dialogue was great, and losing one of his boys' was a nice ending. Are you from England, or just dig the dialect? Excellent usage. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write, all of us really appreciate it.

[the_tree]

I'm not entirely sure. I'm a bit bogged down with a few more serious projects, depends if the mood takes me.

In answer to an earlier question, however, I can tell you when fact and fantasy blurred.
I met the real Lauren and Katie online, they are indeed a pair of chav sluts from the city where I live, sisters actually. In exchange for money, weed, booze and cigs they and a few other friends of theirs would kick me in the balls two or three times each. It was never even remotely as hard as I'd have liked, but the scenario itself was always a major turn-on. They certainly weren't bothered about hurting me and thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Unfortunately our meetings had to stop when my girlfriend found out. I'm a great man, not a good man. :wooow

[Alec Anaconda]

the_tree:

Unfortunately our meetings had to stop when my girlfriend found out.
I'm a great man, not a good man.


I like your style.


Alec Anaconda

[jacall]

Keep going, man!

[Takkyuu_tama]

Yeah, keep going. this is surprisingly fun :thumbup

[the_tree]

Found this on my old hard drive. Got me thinking about writing some more, hope you enjoy. As always, if people like it I'll keep going...

***

I looked up at the clock nervously. Lauren and Katie were late.

It had been nine months since they had put me in the hospital, utterly crushing my right nut and leaving me with a constant physical reminder of the hold they had over me. Our arrangement was very simple. Whenever the girls needed money, or sometimes if they were just bored, they would come around to my house and make themselves at home. I, of course, would provide whatever they needed. Cigarettes, beer, vodka and however much money they wanted to 'borrow' from me. In return they would beat me viciously, paying particular attention to my groin which they had both developed a sadistic love of punishing. As long as I did what I was told, the girls promised never to tell my boss about my double life. Ninety-nine percent of the time I was an upwardly mobile and comfortable professional, but the second I got that phonecall from Katie and Lauren I was reduced to a pathetic, whimpering bitch.

All of a sudden there was a sharp knock at the door. I scrambled to answer it and no sooner had I turned the handle than I was ****** aside as the girls barged past me and into my home.
Both were dressed very similarly tonight in tight body-hugging tracksuits which fully showed off their tight curves and asses. Their hair was pulled back into topknots and their faces were plastered with makeup. Lauren and Katie were, from head to toe, the ultimate expressions of brutal young chav sluts. The kind you see at every bus stop in Britain, sexy and aggressive. Their trainers trailed mud into my house but I had learned not to complain. I had asked the girls nicely once to take off their shoes, and the pain they inflicted on me in return had been almost unbearable.

"Where are our presents then, mate?" Lauren spat at me. Both Lauren and Katie completely hated me, that much they made very clear. The only reason they visited me was for money and to have a pathetic older man whom they could use as a willing punching bag. I used to think that Lauren didn't hate me as much as Katie did. I thought she would stop Katie if the punishment ever got too much, but the girls' recent visits had shown me the error of my ways. Both regarded me with nothing but contempt and treated me with nothing but the kind of cruelty that only exists in the mind of a teenage girl.
Their 'presents' consisted of a cold can of beer each and two packs of cigarettes, each wrapped in a twenty-pound note. Some nights the girls would demand I order them clothes or jewlery online and of course I obeyed without question. The truth was simple. I was terrified of Katie and Lauren. They were my cruel, cruel princesses and I obeyed them if I wanted the pain they inflicted on me to be tolerable.
"He's a good boy, isn't he?" Katie said mockingly to her sister.
"Yeah, he likes his beatings!" Lauren replied, "come here and kneel in front of us, bitch!"
I immediately walked over and knelt down. The girls liked to start every session off by reminding me who the bosses where. They lit their cigarettes and, one after the other, hit me in the face. Katie delivered a fierce slap which made my cheek burn for a second before Lauren stepped forward and punched me full in the jaw. She had recently taken up boxing to compliment Katie's status as a champion kickboxer and I can bear witness to her progress. Her punches were getting steadily harder.
"Say thank you!" Lauren snapped.
"Thank you, princesses," I said, trying to keep my voice as quiet and subservient as possible. Any hint of a tone that the girls didn't like brought me nothing but harsh punishment.
Katie grabbed me by my hair and jerked my head around sharply to face her.
"Thank you for what, bitch?"
"Thank you for hitting me and reminding me that you're in charge."
"Good boy!" Katie gave my head one last jerk as she released me. She leant forward and ran her tongue teasingly across her lips. I caught a whiff of her strong perfume and looked into her cold, cruel brown eyes as she swished her mouth around and spat in my face. Her full lips split into a sadistic smile as I felt her saliva begin to slowly run down my face.
Then she kicked me in the groin.
I had my eyes half-closed to avoid the spit and Katie used that opportunity to power her delicate foot forward and into my one remaining ball with deadly force. The pain was immense, driving me down to the floor. No matter how many times Katie pummelled my manhood with her perfect, tiny feet the pain remained so intense. This young chav knew just how to break a man's nuts and took pleasure in doing so!
I tried to catch my breath while Katie stepped around behind me. I heard Lauren's phone ringing in the background but it was just so much noise compared to the dull, burning ache between my legs.
"Get your fucking balls up! I'm having fun!" she barked at me. Obediently I raised myself, giving my princess the best possible shot at my balls. This time she kicked in quick succession, delivering two powerful strikes before I had time to react. I grunted as the agony took the strength from my legs and I sank back down to the carpet. She gave me one more kick in the ribs for good measure and left me lying there while she had a drink.

By the time I was able to move and think straight again, Lauren had returned. Whatever her phonecall had been about, it was obviously not good news. Her face was a picture of feminine rage, flushed with fury. Her eyes were fixed on me, not moving an inch.
"What's wrong, babes?" Katie asked.
"That was my boyfriend, we've been arguing."
That filled me with dread. Lauren and her boyfriend had a turbulent relationship. They were always arguing, and while she would inevitably submit to him as a more dominant male, her frustration and anger at him would always find it's way back to me.
She strode across the room towards me and, just as her sister had done, yanked me up into a kneeling position by my hair.
"You're gonna wish you'd never been born," she said. Her voice was nothing but cold, adolescent fury, "stand up!"
I could just about get to my feet as I was instructed but I was still a bit groggy from the repeated kicks in the balls I'd received from this fit young princess. Lauren reached into her pocket and it was a short while before I realised what she had pulled out.
She had a set of brass knuckles.
"Spread your legs!" she ordered and for a moment I hesitated. She couldn't really mean she was going to punch me in the balls with brass knuckles?
All my hesitation got me was another swift kick from Katie who had taken up position behind me. My balls lit up again but she grabbed me and kept me on my feet.
"Don't you fucking dare fall over! she spat in my ear, "Lauren's got some stuff she wants to take out on you and if you want to keep us happy, you're going to take it."
I looked, horrified, into Lauren's eyes as she adjusted her firm, young breasts in her bra and slowly brought her hand back for the uppercut which would deliver that harsh steel into my groin. There was nothing else I could say but...
"Thank you, princess."

[Alec Anaconda]

As I’ve stated before, Mr Tree, I’m not into ********** fantasies, but this is good fiction, so please keep writing.



I still like the realism - the way you’ve recognised the severity of his injury.



Please continue this story, but please try not to fall into the trap of predictability, for without a twist or two...



Alec Anaconda