Advice Question: Relationships

Usually I wouldn't be asking such a question, but the relative anonymity afforded me by the internet has given me courage, and there's plenty of good folks on this board with experience who can probably give me some advice.
So I've been happily single for about a year and a half now, and everything was going fine, when life dropped this completely exciting, gorgeous woman in my lap. Things have been solidly amazing for a month now, with one hiccup. I've never shared my fetish with anyone before, being more than content to take care of myself regarding BB. Well, I got so good at it while I was single, I'm experiencing difficulty becoming as aroused as I would like with the usual oral, manual, vaginal stimulation offered by this amazing chick. I've achieved my longest, hardest erections only through BB or at least fantasizing about BB, so I'm not really sure how I can feel the best effects of sex without it. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying myself enormously, but I know for a fact things would be better if we explored this aspect of my sexuality. Any insight is appreciated, thanks.

-Knave

Hello Knave,
Just be honest(ish). I’ve done this a bit of late and it seems to work really well. New partners usually want to know how to turn you on. Do not go for the full dose at one go. Tell her that you that you like them squeezed (or wotever). When she does this let her know how glad you are you met her and about how great she is. All I do is gaze into their eyes and tell them how ‘intense’ my orgasm with them is when they apply pressure to my nads. Nobody, to date, has refused to comply. After a couple of sessions of this you can just raise the bar. Getting them to really go for it is a bit more difficult. The easiest way I’ve found to get ‘pain’ is to tell them you like having your balls sucked. When they’re doing this ask them to bite them a bit. It seems they misjudge this more than squeezing or hits. I’ve had girls that refused to hurt me in other ways fucking kill me with their teeth without knowing it. There is only one rule: However much it hurts do not let on and keep asking for more. If you once crumple so that they think they’ve really hurt you then they’ll often become too scared to have another go. Take it steady.
Good luck. I really MUST get too bed now.
Inq

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Knave

...Well, I got so good at it while I was single, I'm experiencing difficulty becoming as aroused as I would like with the usual oral, manual, vaginal stimulation offered by this amazing chick. I've achieved my longest, hardest erections only through BB or at least fantasizing about BB, so I'm not really sure how I can feel the best effects of sex without it...
-Knave

---

Let me give you my take, cuz back in my younger days I cycled through long term relationships and dry-spells several times. During the "dry-spells" you (at least I) engage in self-stimulation of course- doesn't matter whether that includes BB or not for the purposes of my discussion here. Physically (not emotionally) nobody else can do it as well as you can, ever. That is a fact. And when you are doing things for yourself, you probably like it enough to go at least once or twice a day too- maybe more. Your body becomes used to the intensity and the frequency and it likes it!

Now you drop into a new relationship, and compared to your good right arm, she doesn't stand a hope in hell of competing physically.

In a short time your body will acclimate if you let it, and the twice or 3 times a week you go for it with her will become exactly what you need to get as solid and excited as ever, but it takes two things to make it happen. Patience and temperance. Patience because your body will take some time to adjust to her touch and the new frequency so you must wait for it to work. And temperance because you have to keep your good right arm solidly in your friggin' pocket and don't let it take up the slack. Your body will not adjust to her touch if you keep taking matters into your own hands in between.

May not apply to you but applies to most. I have been there myself and it took a while for me to figger it out on my own. Then a few years later I heard some dude call in to Dr. Ruth with exactly the same bitch. She is gorgeous- I am happy as a clam- why aren't I as hard with her as I am alone, etc. etc. She gave him chapter and verse- exactly what I had to figure out on my own- (which pissed me off that it took me so long) so it's a very common issue among guys coming off a dry-spell- but just not something you can discuss at the water cooler.

Best of luck.
-Tamakeri

Knave,
I went through the exact same situation as you, so I know what it's like. I also recommend honesty about BB, but I do recommend a very gradual introduction. With my last few girlfriends I really had it down to a bit of a science. After we had a well-established sex life, I'd just encourage ball-play for a little while. Then I'd mention some squeezing was kind of fun. That would quickly accelerate to hard squeezing, after which you're pretty much in... With some girls this could take a few weeks, others a couple of months. In the end, I was a lot more into it, because I knew the BB was coming, even if it was still a little while away...

Hope this is helpful!

Thanks a ton fellows! To be honest I wasn't expecting any replies, and instead I get three honest accounts that will help me a lot. Thanks! I'll post pictures if anything goes better than expected ;)

-Knave

Here’s what Mistress Ariachne had to say last week….
http://bondage.com/id/12/which/304/show_column.html
Hope its useful.