THE MOTH & THE FLAME

I dislike pain intensely yet I now find my self addicted to ball busting. It is not something I understand but I blame her…..

She approached me in a Northern England nightclub almost 20 years ago. She said she liked the way I danced.

“Men who can dance can fuck”

I’d heard it before. It meant I was almost certainly ‘in there’ if I played my cards right. She looked pretty foxy – definitely worth a notch on the bedpost.

“I want to take you home and show you what its like to fuck a real woman”

The ones with the balls (pun intended) to make such a bold approach are usually pretty confident in their abilities (and normally rightly so). I’ve always liked the ones that make the first move. They’re definitely the dirty ones – and that’s the main criteria I look for in a woman (call me shallow). She had a couple of tattoos too. This is always a good sign. I’ve never met a really kinky woman who didn’t have them. That’s not to say all women with tattoos are kinky (sadly) but the kinky ones all seem to have tattoos. We didn’t waste time and were on our way back to the house I shared with a couple of female student friends by taxi within 10 minutes. My housemates were away so we had the place to ourselves.

We were kissing before the front door shut and left a trail of clothes up the stairs before we fell into bed. She asked me to tell her what I liked as she blew me. I held back but told her I liked the idea of restraining her (I didn’t want to scare her off so I didn’t give her the full story of what I fancied doing to her). She asked me if I had any rope and I let her into my secret stash of (mostly homemade) bondage equipment. Her eyes lit up.

“Would *YOU* like to be dominated?”

“Dunno, I’ve never tried it”

“Are you up for and experiment? I’ll make it worth your while”

The dirty cow intoxicated me.

“You let me tie you up and fuck you and I’ll then let you do anything you want with me”

“Anything?”

“Yes”

“It’s a deal”. She obviously didn’t know how pervy I could be. I was so turned on I think I’d have agreed to anything. She picked up two cheap dog collars I’d doctored and quickly had my arms tied to the top of the bed. By the time I tried to struggle it was too late. ‘How the fuck did I let myself get talked into this’ I thought to myself. ‘She could be a complete nutter’. She continued to blow me and I soon relaxed. It wasn’t long before I found myself with my legs tied up towards my head too. It was clear she was getting off on this too. I was a little disconcerted when she tied a strap around my balls.

“God this turns me on. You are so fucking helpless now big boy. These jewels are mine now”. She firmly rolled my balls around in her hand while continuing to wank me off. While it hurt, it was not an altogether unpleasant experience.

“I can do anything I want to these eggs…..are you scared?” I nodded. She slapped them hard. My guts wrenched. She hit them again. I screamed.

“Shut up you shit”. She grabbed by aching balls roughly and twisted.

“Open your mouth” she said as she bunched up her knickers and tried to stuff them in. I refused. She squeezed harder. I was unable to resist. I was petrified now. I could tell she was getting a REAL kick out of it. I could feel myself shaking with fear and inwardly cursed myself for being such a slave to my dick in the first place.

“I know you like it cuz your dick’s still hard”. She was right. I succumbed as she stroked it.

I was her helpless plaything.

“I’m going to give you a night you’ll never forget. Think about it…” she said as she left the room. I struggled hard to get free. My wrists and ankles were burning but it was no use. She came back with a bag. I guessed she’d been in the kitchen when she brought a large wooden spoon out of it. She hit my tethered balls with it hard. There was nowhere they could escape to. She giggled and proceeded to wank and hit me for the next 15 minutes or so - sometimes using other kitchen implements to inflict her sadistic torture. I was in agony and ecstasy. She obviously loved her work. As I came she really took it out on my nuts with the spoon and while it hurt like hell it was the most intense orgasm I’d ever had. It felt like she was beating the cum out of my balls. My nuts felt like mush. It was exhilarating. How I wished over the coming days that she’d stopped there.

Instead of stopping she increased her tortures. My dick was soft now. There was no pleasure only pain. I don’t know how long she beat me for or whether I remained conscious for all of it. Finally, she looked in the bag again.

“Shit, I forgot the carving knife. I’ll be back in a minute. In the meantime, think about what life’s going to be like without your balls”. She laughed as she left. I struggled again to get free. One of my wrists was becoming loose and I knew I had a chance to save my nuts. It felt like I was fighting for my life….

It actually took me the best part of 15 min to get free. When I did she was gone.

My balls ached for almost 4 days. I took the strongest cocktail of painkillers I could but it still didn’t seem to touch it. I even went to the doctors and said that I’d got them trapped while having intercourse. It was embarrassing. If the doc guessed it was some kind of S&M thing then he did a real good job of hiding it. He gave me some codeine to add into the mix and said he didn’t think that anything needed to doing, as they did not appear to be twisted. I remember he described testicles as having a strong outer wall and that if they get badly bruised there’s no real way for them to swell easily. This puts pressure on the nerves.. blah..blah.. blah. I could hardly hear him, all I could think about was the intense pain in my nuts. I didn’t know pain came that bad. I almost wished she had cut them off.

I vowed that I would *NEVER* let myself get into a situation like that again.

The weird thing is (and this is something that I still don’t understand to this day) once I’d healed I started to fantasize about that night. It’s as if I wanted to go through it all again (well the bit up to orgasm anyway). Regular sex seemed boring in comparison. I still masturbate thinking about that evening almost 20 years on! I sit here now with a dick as hard as steel as I write it all down for the first time. I still have her knickers. They’re here with me now. I must have wanked with them thousands of times.

Within a month of recovering I was even out searching to see if I could find her again. A couple of times my heart raced when I thought I’d seen her. I could feel my heart in my throat as I approached only to experienced a huge sense of disappointment once I realised that it wasn’t her. I never saw her again :-(

She said her name was Sue. She had a rose tattooed on the right shoulder and some other flower (daisy?) on her ankle so she’ll be pretty easy to identify. So if you’re out there Sue or whoever you are. The fact that I now frequent places like this, and get hugely turned on when a woman tells me (I think I still like the expectation more than the reality) that she’s going to REALLY bust my balls, is *YOUR* fault!

I wish I could see her again, even if just for an hour. I’d be happy to just talk to her. I’m inquisitiv as to what she got out of it all? Have any of you ladies ever busted a complete stranger? Would it turn you on to do so? I’m fascinated by what makes women like that tick. I think I’m addicted to them. I don’t understand myself on this one. In many ways such a woman would be my worst nightmare.

Times have moved on since then and its good to know, now that the internet has come along, that I’m not the only poor sod stricken with this fetish! I LOVE you guys (especially the mean ladies amongst you). I have a few more questions to ask my newfound community but these will have to wait until another day.

Sorry to rabbit on so…..

QUESTION 1: What was her motive?

I pondered over this many times in the weeks after that night. Initially I wondered whether it might be some revenge attack arranged by an ex-girlfriend. While many had succumbed to my perverted ways, I was always very careful not to do anything that they really didn’t want. Unfortunately, a few did become pretty heavy and I stopped seeing them. This sometimes seems to instil rage in a girl – and that’s an understatement!

I’ve since ruled this out as a motive myself as I think it’d be too big a deal for a lass to go through with on somebody else’s behalf. So far as I know, she didn’t take any pictures or anything so she would not have had any evidence of the deed having been done. I now think that she simply did it because she got off on it. So I’d like to ask the ladies whether they think this is possible or whether anybody has other ideas? I’d be ESPECIALLY keen to hear from any other bloke who met this lass as this would rule out any notion that I was in someway a specially-singled-out victim (you can tell that this has fucked wiv my head for years).

Here’s one for the boys…..

QUESTION 2: How the fuck do you guys take the beatings you claim too?

I was sick to the stomach for days after the beating Sue gave me. It was one of the worst times of my life. All I could think about was the pain. It was WAY worse than any toothache. While I now like the ‘idea’ of having my grapes smushed by a beautiful sadistic woman the reality is somewhat different. I think I get a kick out of the peril but I’m still trying to explore exactly what it is I get out of it (hence joining this forum). I LOVE the idea of giving my balls to a woman. My experience with Sue has, understandably, made me rather nervous about doing so.

From what I read here, some of you guys take much more than I did without any need for hospitalization. Is this because I’m a lightweight or is it because you guys are wildly exaggerating? Can men take a full on assault on their tied up tezzies and still walk OK the following day? I take my hat off to them if they can. I think I prefer my tortures to be more in the mind and a little more moderate if they’re physical.

I suspect it is and thought I’d get the experts advice. Hot chillies are known to give people a rush. So much so, that it is known that they kill the brain cells that respond to the sensation of spicy food. Within reason, the more you eat - the more you need – the more you need – the more you eat, to a point where food is almost boring without a level of chilli that would near kill a novice. Does ball busting work in this way too? We’re all you guys able to take hard shots from the start or was it a ‘learned response’? I guess what I’m asking is – would I be able to take more with practice?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by inquisitiv

QUESTION 2: How the fuck do you guys take the beatings you claim too?

I was sick to the stomach for days after the beating Sue gave me. It was one of the worst times of my life. All I could think about was the pain... From what I read here, some of you guys take much more than I did without any need for hospitalization. Is this because I’m a lightweight or is it because you guys are wildly exaggerating?

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Best I can answer is that regardless of how "damaged" you are, the "pain" is in your head and YOU didn't need to go to the hospital either. You went to the Doc and he sent you home with a moderate painkiller (codeine) which (according to studies) works a bit better than Tylenol, but not much. I don't want to say you're a lightweight- I certainly can't feel your pain. I know that I have had sessions with ladies who quite literally kicked my balls for an hour with boots and shoes that are a lot heavier than a kitchen spoon- who left them well bruised and they were swollen for days. I have spent considerable time in a "humbler" being kicked, (but not with her full force.) And I have felt the pain for up to 2 weeks, but then again that was what I was looking for when I went to them so I felt I got what I wanted. I have never been sick to my stomach after ball-busting though.

Yes, I am addicted. But to the fear, not to the pain. I don't believe your tolerance for damage increases over time, but how much you view as pain and how much you view as pleasure certainly can.

-Tamakeri

Inquistiv here. Looks like I’ve been banned from posting :-( Seems a bit harsh. No explanation’s been given. I’ve been trying to do the right thing. I’ll leave you all alone after this if I’m not wanted here :-(

Thanks Tamakeri,
Point taken. You don’t WANT to say I’m a lightweight but it rather looks like I might be! I guess I’m not really into being actually “damaged” especially in any permanent sense. My original (and best) busting was also not something I was looking for at the time. I’m still not sure whether the incident induced my fetish or whether it brought out something that was already there. It’s very interesting what you say about being ‘addicted to the fear’. Maybe that’s EXACTLY what it is I’m looking for - only I’ve never really realised it. I was certainly shitting myself the first time!! I had absolutely no control over the situation.

I’ve been busted by a string of girlfriends over the years. While it was generally pleasurable, it never really did it for me. Part of this might have been that I was sure that the girls involved didn’t want to really hurt me – i.e. there was no real fear. The thing I think I’ve missed is a girl that actually enjoys the busting, a girl that likes to inflict pain. While many will give it a half-hearted go, I’ve not found any that are really into the idea :-( I probably like the thought of being really busted more than the reality and even get off on the idea that a lass might actually want to ruin me (?). Maybe this says it all – the ‘thought’ can make you afraid and that’s the bit of the kick that’s been missing. This is something useful I can explore :-)

Many Thanx.
Goodbye.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tamakeri

I have never been sick to my stomach after ball-busting though.

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I almost always get sick; getting sick and even blowing chunks after getting kicked in the balls is sort of th standard reaction, I thought.

Is it possible that men's balls are "wired" differently to the brain? Well, of course it's possible, but is it likely? I can see how itwould tend to be very varied how the brain reacts to getting kicked in the nuts, because the brain adjusts itself as it is growing to meet the experiences it has had so far; but the wiring up of the berves should be pretty consant...

Let's turn this over to an expert.

EVIL GRL! Am I a gutless wussy because I get sick when a girl racks my testicles? (BTW, what's your degree in, again?)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by i-quv

Inquistiv here. Looks like I’ve been banned from posting :-( Seems a bit harsh. No explanation’s been given. I’ve been trying to do the right thing. I’ll leave you all alone after this if I’m not wanted here :-(

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Inquisitiv hasn't been banned.
I would know about such a thing!

Inquisitiv joined on Feb 20, 2005, and has posted 8 times.
None of Inquisitiv's posts have been deleted, although I had to move his 2 pics threads to the proper thread for attached pics, where they belong.
In that thread, other members are commenting on the pics that he posted. I liked some of the pics that Inquisitiv posted too!

Inquisitiv is still on the Members List as a "Member", meaning that Inquisitiv can continue to post. (A banned member disappears from the Members List.)

Also, in this same thread Inquisitiv has 3 posts. Under his UserName it says "Member". It doesn't say "banned". Inquisitiv obviously hasn't been banned.

Perhaps Inquisitiv has forgotten his password to log in???

Or maybe Inquisitiv forgot how to spell his case-sensitive UserName ("inquisitiv") and can't log in???

By the way, if you have registered more than one UserName on the same computer, you must delete your cookies between logins, or the system will think that you're trying to impersonate another User or Member when you try to log in with your alternate UserName(s), and not let you log in.

If you really are Inquisitiv, I suggest that you stick to logging in as Inquisitiv. If you have problems logging in as Inquisitiv, let us know and we'll try to help you. Delete your cookies first though, before you try logging in under another UserName than you're using now.

Whatever gave you the (false) idea that Inquisitive was banned in the first place? He hasn't.

In any event, I (and others) like Inquisitiv's pic posts, and we'll miss him if he doesn't return.

- Sara :)

Maybe it is all some technological cock-up. Wotever the reason, I found myself able to log in to Femaledom.com and free to post on other forums but not this one (?). I’m new here and new to this kinda stuff. I’ll get the hang of it and I will try and play by the rules. By the look of it, I started a couple of picture based threads that’s should’ve been in other places. If this is some kind of techno error then I’m sorry to all for causing a fuss. I now find myself unable to log-out anyhow so I guess the handle i-quv might have to stick! I’m glad to hear that I’ve not actually offended the forum and I was saddened when I thought I had been excluded.
No harm done,
i-quv (aka inqusitiv)

Thanx 4 the input Trouble. It’s clear from Tamakeri and your accounts alone that the human male varies widely in its response to getting cracked in the conkers! I sit somewhere in between these extremes but up towards the ‘blowing chunks’ end of the spectrum.

With me, tezzie-torture is something I like when I’m aroused – especially as I cum – more so again if I’m REALLY stoned too. Once I’m beyond the point of no return then the little lady can really go to town. The second I’ve shot my wad it just becomes painful without any enjoyment. Is this normal? Do some of you guys like it even when your not turned on? I can understand that body mechanics may not allow the penis to remain erect under circumstances of severe pain but are these guys with limp dicks in some of the photos on here actually getting sexually turned on by what’s happening? I’m a novice at this stuff so I guess what I’m trying to ask is whether some guys just like a bust for the sakes of? For this to be true, it is implicit that it doesn’t matter who gives it? Surely, if it’s a woman inflicting the damage and the guy is heterosexual then there has to be some element of ‘sex’ to it. Is there a small percentage of busting is non-sexual in nature? I guess this is loads of questions now. Sorry, I’m just inquisitive – or at least I used to be ;-)

I dunno wot happened there but I could definitely see I was a member of the other forums but not this one for a while there. Unfortunately, I’m now two members (i-quv & inquisitiv). Feel free to amalgamate me as you see fit. :ibow4u:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by i-quv

With me, tezzie-torture is something I like when I’m aroused – especially as I cum – more so again if I’m REALLY stoned too. Once I’m beyond the point of no return then the little lady can really go to town. The second I’ve shot my wad it just becomes painful without any enjoyment. Is this normal? Do some of you guys like it even when your not turned on? . . .

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I've answered this question previously (please note that i have just an opinion, no education that covers this -- i.e., I am not offering medical, legal, or psychiatric advice); we need to make an FAQ file.

I think that what you describe is fairly common among men who are into ballbusting. However, there are two different psychological sides that we tend to all come down on in the Sm community:

Sadomasochism is correctly used to refer to feeling stimulated by being tortured by someone with whom you have a connection (or, sometimes, a role-played pretend connection). A masochist enjoys feeling pain from, particularly, a trusted and/or loved one, or sometimes an authority figure, or some combination of those. A masochist into ballbusting who is hetero generally wants women to whom he is sexually and/or romantically attracted to bust his nuts. Sadists, for their part, do not want to do the masochist injury because they enjoy inflicting pain on a person to whom they are sexually or romantically attracted.

Algolagnia is correctly used to refer to the addiction to pain. Some of us have that and some do not. Among algolagniacs, there may be a person or a kind of person whom they prefer to administer the pain, but the point is really the painful experience, more than a sexual or emotional intimacy like the masochist seeks. Sadists generally do not injure algolagiacs, either, but it would not surprise me if they gave them a tougher workout. ;)

Thanks for the tutorial Trouble :ibow4u:

I think your idea of a FAQ file is an excellent idea.

What do you think Sara?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by inquisitiv

Thanks for the tutorial Trouble
I think your idea of a FAQ file is an excellent idea.
What do you think Sara?

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Good idea, Trouble and inquisitiv :) I agree.

We might have different ideas about the contents of the FAQ.

I don't think it would be practical to include all Frequently Asked Questions about ballbusting. Safety tips, normal reactions, techniques and so on. That's what most of the ballbusting forum threads are for.

What I have in mind is where and how to post attached pics (in the thread where text-only comments without attached pics are now not permitted), inline pics, video clips, sites, links to pics, as well as recommending that first-time posters post in the thread called "Introductory Posts By New Members", how to include QUOTES in a post, and a lot of other information that Users/Members frequently ask about even if it has been explained previously in different threads.
In general, how to post different types of posts where they should be posted.

The FAQ for the forums is at:
www.femaledom.com/forum/faq.php
but it doesn't include any of the information I mentioned in the preceding paragraph.

If you guys (or others) want such a FAQ, just let me know and I'll start to work on it.
I would either try to include it in the present FAQ or put it all in a sticky 'FAQ Supplemental Tips And Advice' post at the top of this "Ballbusting World" Forum.

If that's what members would find useful, just let me know, OK?

- Sara :)

Such an FAQ file would’ve been very useful to me when I arrived and would’ve prevented me making some of the cock-ups I’ve made posting things here. Trouble is right, it does seem like the same questions come up time and time again. Some kind of generic answers to these would be useful. I’m not really qualified to give these. It seems the likes of Trouble, Tamakeri and yourself are a lot more experienced in this department. I’ll leave it up to guys as to whether we have such a file cuz you’re the guys that are having to give repeat answers to all us Members & Junior members here. :ibow4u:


PS. Can we post movie clips here? If so what formats work?


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NOTE FROM SARA :

Complete info on posting movies (and all other material besides just text) is at:
www.femaledom.com/forum/showpost.php?p=7827&postcount=48

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by inquisitiv

PS. Can we post movie clips here? If so what formats work?

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No, you can't post the clips here, but if you have them on another server that allows you to, you can post a link to them here. Two free servers that I know work are www.rapishare.de and www.yousendit.com
With rapidshare you are limited to a maximum 30MB video and your viewers have to endure a 30-60 second wait before the download begins (while they are free to read the ads). Also a viewer can only download about 30MB each hour from them.
With yousendit there is no wait and no size limit but there are a limited number of downloads for each upload so only the first few dozens of people who want it will be able to download and see it. Not sure if that is a set number of downloads or is file size related. With yousendit, just address the email to yourself then post the link that arrives in email.

-Tamakeri

Quote:

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Originally Posted by inquisitiv

PS. Can we post movie clips here? If so what formats work?

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Heck, that's one of those questions we have to repeat many a time an answer to it. Oh, shoot, I'm talkin' like-- well, never mind.

Links to movies files may be posted here, but not movies. femaledom.com is willing to host a lot of silly stuff from us (you know, rants like this one, pictures of guys getting their gonads stapled to hot air balloons about to take off, etc., etc.), but they do not want to be used as a "fileshare" service, so large files like movies are out.

Since you can only post a link to file stored on another site, you cn use any format (even ANIM, the EA IFF-85 spec; or, for that matter, the even earlier ANBM). However, as you most certainly know, MPEG and Quicktime are the most popular formats these days. If you use MPEG, please use a codec that is reasonably common to both big-endian and little-endian platforms.

if you need a site to use for file sharing, there was one called something like ez-share.de that Tamakeri can tell you ALLLLLL about.

I'll type up a proposal for how to finagle an FAQ together...

I be new to this malarkey. Go easy on me guys. I stand no chance when I’m up against the likes of ‘Supreme poster’ Tamakeri and ‘Big supporter’ Trouble. :ibow4u:
Thanks 4 the advice anyhow, I’ll look into it when’s I gets some time. Good luck with the project. I’m looking 4ward 2 the results :)
Luv 2 all,
The (piss) artist formally known as i-quv

PS. Thanx 4 making me smile Trouble. r u in Portland? It’s a lovely city (I lived in Seattle 4 a while).

I'm right by Portland and I've been to Seattle; Seattle is far better looking. She can bust my knackers any day. (We are talking about those two hot chicks named Portland and Seattle, right?)

Hi i-quv or wotever ure callin ureslf these dayz. I like ure story. I'd rather bust a hunk I know than some random stranger.
Where r u in the UK and wot are u like?
K :bananawin