'What do you tell your husband, if hes got one swollen testicle?
Nothing you've already told him once!
What do you tell your husband, if hes got two swollen testicles ?
"make me tell you a third time and you lose them both !"
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'What do you tell your husband, if hes got one swollen testicle?
Nothing you've already told him once!
What do you tell your husband, if hes got two swollen testicles ?
"make me tell you a third time and you lose them both !"
A rich woman with a briefcase and her bodyguard walked into a banker's office. "What can I help you with," asked the banker.
The lady replied, "I want to deposit $100,000 in cash." She opened the briefcase and revealed the cash.
"Sure, we can help you with that," replied the banker. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you come across all that money?"
"I'm a heavy gambler," said the lady. "For example, I'll bet you $10,000 of this cash right now that your left ball hangs lower than your right."
"Are you serious?"
"Completely. Would you like to take me up on it," asked the lady coyly.
The banker looked rather confident. "Actually, I would. I happen to know for a fact that my right ball hangs slightly lower than the left, so, yes. I'll take your bet."
The lady responded with a cool expression. "Alright. Drop your pants; let's see."
The banker wasn't fully prepared for this event. "Right here? You've got to be kidding."
"If I'm going to pay you $10,000, I need to see if you're telling the truth. Now drop your pants."
The banker reluctantly stood up, walked to the front of the desk, and slowly undid his pants. He presented his balls for the lady's inspection. She grasped them in her hand and examined them.
"Yep, you're right. I guess I owe you $10,000," she said with a smile.
Just then, the bodyguard turned around and started punching the wall!
"What's he doing," the banker exclaimed.
The lady said with a smirk, "Oh. I bet him $50,000 that this afternoon I would have the banker by the balls."
This one is great. The others? Eh...Quote:
Originally Posted by sloguy
http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/12...ites_Dogs_Nuts
i guess ill revive this old thread, since the video i found doesnt really fit in anywhere else.
The old ones are the best.
Alec Anaconda
Ugh....Quote:
Originally Posted by sloguy
What the fuck...?
:( Real fuckin' funny, dude.Quote:
Originally Posted by sloguy
A father is treating his son to a meal and a good drink, to celebrate the lad’s eighteenth birthday, in a trendy restaurant.
As the waiter opens the third bottle of Champagne, birthday-boy offers to show his father a magic trick, using three pound-coins.
Disregarding basic hygiene, the lad places the coins in his mouth, turns his head away then immediately back, revealing a coinless smile.
Suddenly, the boy hiccups then starts choking and going blue in the face.
The father realises the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the coins, but still choughs and splutters.
Looking at his son, the father panics and shouts for help.
***
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a grey business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully pulls down his clothes, takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly, squeezing ever tighter and tighter still!
After a few seconds, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last of the coins, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
***
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying,
"I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
“No,” the woman replies.
“I'm with the Inland Revenue”
Alec Anaconda
That's a classic!Quote:
Originally Posted by honto
Three women are sitting discussing what contraception they use with their boyfriends.
"We always use condoms" said the first woman.
"I always use contraceptive pills" said the second.
"I just crush their balls between two bricks" said the third woman.
"Doesn't that hurt?" asked the other women.
"Maybe" she said "but only if you get your fingers caught in between".
Haha, Funny EricaQuote:
Originally Posted by eric B