Who is into findom?

Allow me to preface by sayingI know this is a bit ironic of me to be on a fetish website calling another (related) fetish absurd.

I don't understand findom from the slave perspective at all. Willingly giving up your hard earned money for no obvious reward or result. I can understand if some "dommes" request partial or even full payment for a session up front, your Choice. But a lot of these so-called dommes on social media requesting 50-100 upfront BEFORE even initiating contact via message. Then a 300+ dollar fee for what I imagine can't even be a 30 Minute session. (Allow me to add that dome of these dommes aren't much to look at) and once you initiate anything you are unofficially part of her corral and expected to make regular and irregular contributions.

Brothers shed some light on this because it makes no sense whatsoever to me. I enjoy the thought and the action of a good ballbusting as much as any of you for as log as I can remember but intentional self inflicted financial misery is a concept I can't grasp.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by cold8889

But a lot of these so-called dommes on social media requesting ...

---

I do not bother with social media dommes.. . I am an old fashion guy that want to see the woman in flesh and bone

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by cold8889

I enjoy the thought and the action of a good ballbusting as much as any of you for as log as I can remember but intentional self inflicted financial misery is a concept I can't grasp.

---

It is interesting that you having a fetish are indignant by another fetish.
Do not bother with what you cannot understand. Also there are billions of people that do not understand our fetish.

While I was not into findom per se, The dommes on twitter that sell personal items caught my attention and I made a small tribute then sent an email to several dommes and got replies from most.
I bought socks from a couple and hit it off with a couple who were willing to talk to a customer who tributes (even if small amount). I found that I do enjoy sending some money to these ladies and have found they actually care about you after establishing a relationship. As long as you tribute and are honest (but don't top from the bottom) you can find someone who matches what you want, many do sessions and skype, but a trust must be established first as these ladies face danger in meet ups with people they don't know. If a domme asks for hundreds of dollars to tell you you are worthless and ignores you, avoid that domme (unless you have the money and want that treatment) If a domme has 500-1000 followers, remeber just sending an average of a dollar a week adds up. Though I would not send less than $5 ever.

Findom is a very controversial subject, people that criticize it are generally extremely vehement against it and I am one of those, so you're warned that I'm not trying to be neutral, maybe findom advocates or more moderate people will answer:

Findom isn't a kink per se, but a coping method for extremely introvert subs with a lot of social anxiety, that basically can't do much things beside staying home alone and never meeting a real mistress or girlfriend. You'll hardy find someone "hooked" into findom as into ballbusting beause kinks come from your environment as a kid and teenager most of the times (no links with Freudian bullshit that hijacked the subject, that's serious science), and you had balls but not much money on your own (I'm not saying it never happens tho).
The symbolics behind ballbusting is rather safe and stays into the kink, like "empower me, beautiful woman, make me regret I hold those fragile things that make me nothing compared to your perfection", or if you're less litterary and more hardcore into degradation, it can be "show me the piece of useless trash I am as a male"; while the symbolics between findom is acting yourself to prove yourself you're a piece of trash as a human, by wasting your life and money to a superficial dumb girl supposed to represent the lower human there can be.

I am personnally entirely opposed to this as a very introvert guy, aware of the coping methods we use, and that often debunks the idea that we're all suicidal, or virilist discourse. And that's especially because I'm one of them that I'm personnally opposing coping methods that fails and worsen everything, and findom is one of them, the other most common one being the negation of yourself by embracing morally strict conservative ideologies (religion, incels, alt-right and stuff nowadays; now if I go into what actually works and what I defend, it'll go 10 times as political, but among kinks, there are "gentle femdom" and "role reversal" that are functionning ones).

Then, there are indeed the subject of tributes, and camgirls, that raise the same questions, about if it is abusing a vicious spiral of the wallets of guys in need of help and cuddles.
I am opposed to the concept of tributes too as of principle, but I don't resent anything or anyone against it, beside, buying panties, socks or whatever aren't strictly tributes, it's a financial gift to appreciate the work of a girl you like the videos, photos, work or whatever. I don't think tributes can be really dangerous for guys, it just tells "I give you money 'cause I can't have you", which is not so awesome still... But if you tribute a serious mistress invested, that doesn't act like a bitch, reclaim money every day and go shopping with; she probably works as a sex worker and has a hard time living with her videos... then as a temporary solution, a tribute is like a patreon donation to an artist, which is cool.
The problem is that the "sub market" is full of quiet depressive introvert guys wanking alone forever and that marketting their helplessness by calling them pigs, degrading them on twitter and show the make up, car and other useless stuff you bought with their money is way more effective for any new dminatrix that wants to make a living... so for now, I still think tribute should be criticized even if ideally it can be nice for both subs and sex workers.