Got a birthday coming up in a couple of months, and I thought I'd step out of the fantasy arena and into the real world. I'd like to visit a girl, or have her visit me, for a "body rub," as backpage calls 'em, with a happy ending and some BB talk while she's working me. (I'm not into the pain thing, I just like thinking about what a woman can do to a man's nuts.)

I see more than a few ads on the local backpage. Some say incall only (which means, I guess, I'd go to her place), some outcall (so she'd come to my house or hotel room, right?), some say "Not an escort." Some mention "shared shower," which sounds great, some say "no draping" (?) and "fetish friendly."

Anybody done this? What kind of wording in the ad did you look for, and did it work out? Should I just plain ask about the happy ending, or hint some way? As for the BB talk, I can be upfront with her and say, "Hell NO, I don't want you to DO it! I just want you to talk about it, tell me you know how it hurts (and that you know how excited you're making me), what happened if you ever did it, do you like knowing you can hurt a guy like that," etc.

Any advice from the experienced out there?