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Thread: The Warrior

  1. #1
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    The Warrior

    Hi all, this is my first submission, hope at least one of you likes it. Please go easy on me, I'm a little nervous about posting here, but constructive criticisms are welcome. Thanks, and hope y'all enjoy! Just realized this thing didn't get my tabs. anyone know how to correct that? it looks like crap right now lol


    Chapter 1
    She looked with some contempt at the man who had accosted her. He was rather frail looking, and the way he handled his sword screamed incompetence to any trained knight. But he stood tall and proud in front of her, making a speech about money or something, though she didn’t pay much attention. She took in his attire as she waited. He was dressed rather strangely, with what looked like an expensive shirt and pants, but with muddy and uncared-for boots, and a thick leather tunic covering his chest. She kept a trained eye on his chest and groin. No real protection at either area: she could easily kill him without breaking a sweat. She herself was dressed in form-fitting pants, of a stretchy material, made with range of motion in mind, and a white men’s style dress shirt, re-tailored to fit her more petite form. She had on soft leather moccasins, to allow her to feel the terrain while still protecting her feet. Her outfit was meant specifically to allow her to use her whole body in battle, and looking at his, she knew that he was more than just unprepared for life outside of the city, he was also inexperienced for it.


    When he was ready, she saw his body tighten as he charged at her.She pushed her short, lustrous black hair up, smoothing it over her scalp, though it sprang back forward, shading her eyes as soon as her hand left it. She then smiled grimly; this man...this boy would get a lesson in manners and martial ability before the day was over.

    She watched lazily as he charged all the way up to her and swung his sword down on her with all his might. At the last second she twirled out of his path, ending up right behind him as his sword crashed down harmlessly to the ground. He looked surprised as she laid her own sword casually across his neck. She wanted him to see just how outclassed he was before she emasculated him. Then she pulled her sword back and laid a thunderous kick right into his jewels. He gave a pitiful squawk and his legs folded up under him. He hit the ground moaning. She had a lopsided grin on her face as she bent over, patting him on the shoulder and saying, "You really should pick your opponents better. And stop broadcasting your moves! I could have killed you in six different ways before you even got close enough to hit me!"

    She could see that that comment had offended him in the tightening of his shoulders and the scowl that replaced the pain on his face. She grinned, knowing he would fight more. She watched him as he slowly got up, grasping his sword again and turning to face her. He ran at her again with a straight thrust toward her. She casually knocked the sword off of its path with a swing of her hand, careful to avoid the edge of the blade. She made sure not to use her own weapon, both because she wanted him to feel just how hopeless he was, and because if something happened to turn the tables on her, he would not know the skill she possessed with her weapon. As soon as his blade was past her, she stepped up close to him and jerked her knee into his balls, though much lighter than perhaps she should have. He groaned in obvious pain and began to sink to the ground as she plucked his sword effortlessly from his fingers. Before he could fall, though, she placed both arms around his hips, marveling at the way his body felt, light and almost girlish. She certainly outweighed him, even as slight as she was. She kept him from collapsing as she drove her knee again into his balls, eliciting another squawk from him, and then a third time as his eyes watered. She continued to make the hits lighter. For some reason, her usual bloodlust was gone and she did not wish to give the boy any permanent damage.

    When he hit the ground, she waited patiently for him to recover. She told him, "You're holding your sword wrong, you need to have an over-under grip on it, or you'll lose it every time!" She tossed the sword in the air and snatched it gingerly at the blade, then she raised it quickly, hitting him in the groin again with the hilt. Her grip was such that the sword could make almost no impact at all, but he bent over, clutching at his genitals anyway. Then he grabbed the sword and ripped it viciously out of her hand, drawing a large cut across her palm. She looked at her hand for a moment, then back to him with a grin on her face. She found herself admiring both his persistence and his resilience. A small part of her brain also admired his features, soft and pretty. He was so different from the men she knew. He wasn’t tall, though taller than she; he was unmarked by battles, soft and pink as a baby. Part of her felt the usual contempt for such a pathetic specimen of humanity as this, while another part actually liked what she saw.

    He reset his grip on his sword, using the over-under technique she had told him, and then launched a furious upward swing at her, trying with all his might to catch her off guard. She almost laughed out loud as she saw that he had to spread his legs wide to keep his balance.

    She again sidestepped him, keeping ahead of the blade this time, and as she passed she slapped her hand into his groin, grasping his testicles in her hand and giving them a vicious little squeeze and then letting go as she walked past him. She could hear a muffled sob in his breath as he tried to fight past the pain. She said, as she continued walking, "Stop trying to overpower me, you keep leaving your balls open! Every time you do that, I'm going to hurt them!"

    She again waited politely as he slowly readied himself. When he was ready she watched him as he prodded her defenses with his sword, trying for a hit on her but drawing back because he refused to open his legs. Now, she needed him to teach him another lesson.

    She sighed. Men! she thought, they're all the same, either they protect their balls too much or not at all. Well she was going to break him of that habit soon enough. She again wondered to herself why she even cared. It was not like her at all.

    She feinted a kick to his balls and as she saw him curl in on himself and try to place his sword protectively across his groin, she threw a straight punch right into his face, perfectly placed between his eyes and just low enough to also hit the nose. His head rocked back, he was temporarily blinded by her hit. She smiled and gave another vicious little punch right to his balls as he was distracted from above. This time, the sob that came from him was louder and she saw his face screwed up in pain and he fell to his knees, nearly weeping. Her heart leapt in her chest and she wanted to comfort him. Damn it! she thought, he was trying to rob you! He may have even wanted to ra-pe you, stop feeling sorry for him!

    She watched though, stunned actually, as he again got up and reset himself for his attack. She thought she should stop this now. "Look, don't you know when you're beaten? I can beat you at any time, stop now before I really hurt you!" She said this in a pleading voice, really trying to get it through to him that if he continued, she might actually really injure him. But the look on his face, that rage that continued to flow through him, refused her advice. Damn, she thought, I guess I'm going to have to finish this quickly and try not to destroy him too badly in the process.

    This time she didn't wait for his attack but pressed her own attack on him. She moved forward and thrust her sword at his face, causing him to recoil and bring his sword across in a block. Then she went in for another groin attack but he swept his sword down, causing her to pull back in surprise. He learns pretty fast for having his balls being bashed in all the time! she thought. She again feinted for the face but this time when he went to block, she grasped his sword arm with her free hand and twisted, causing him to fall to the side to keep his balance. She sliced down with her sword, catching his belt and cutting it clean off. Then she casually reversed her grip on her sword and brutally mashed his balls with the pommel of her sword. He cried out in pain, a more piteous sound she had never heard. She then pushed him forward and, as he fell down, she jerked his pants down first. There, hanging between his legs, were his penis and testicles, and a sorry sight they were! His penis was limp and tiny, so much so that she could only barely see it over the swelling of his bruised testicles. She winced at the sight of them and was ready to try and help him when she saw him struggling still.

    The sight of him still struggling, against such overwhelming odds and pain, both frustrated her and made her wet with excitement. Never before had she seen a man so determined. Too bad he was such a poor fighter. She knew she had to put him down for good now, so she stepped back, eyed her targets and let loose a kick that was only just barely short of cast-ration. His cry of pain was silent as he rose up in the air, but when he crashed back down to the ground, his will broke and he began crying in earnest. This was not simply a pain weeping, this was a total broken-will, I'm-hurt-and-want-my-mommy sobbing. He was not a man any more, only a broken little boy wanting his mommy to stop the horrible pain. She finally allowed herself to lie down next to him and curled up against him, shielding him from the elements as she stroked his head, his side, and the arms so desperately clutching the fruits of his manhood. She shushed him, made soft cooing sounds of comfort in his ears and tried her best to take away the agony she herself had bestowed upon him.

  2. #2
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    Nice start! I feel like there's been very few new stories here recently – it's great to have another writer Welcome to the club!

    Re: tabs, I'm not sure how to make that work, unfortunately. I generally post my stories with blank lines between each paragraph, though I know that's not everyone's favorite style.

    Also, note that this forum automatically censors certain words like ra.pe and cas.tra.tion (and for.ced, randomly). You can get around that by inserting random periods in the middle of the word, like I just did.

  3. #3
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    Thanks for the suggestions! And the welcome! I hope I can fit in with such awesome writers as you!

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    Epps this is an absolutely fantastic Story :3 I seriously can not in words express how much I enjoyed reading it ^.^ absolutely fantastic hopefully you feel inspired and perhaps continue the story! Or write something similar!

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    Wow thanks for the kind words! And yeah I already have a few chapters written, I just didn't want to throw it all out there in case no one liked it lol. I'll post chapter 2 tomorrow!

  6. #6
    Big Supporter Alec Anaconda, A1's Avatar
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    It’s a good, well written story.
    I did not spot a single typo.

    Formatting, for readability, is not easy on this forum, but I had no trouble reading this.
    Perhaps you could consider shorter paragraphs and starting speech on a new line?
    Alec Anaconda

    Please click on book covers to read extracts.


    eBooks_by_ALEC_ANACONDA

  7. #7
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    thanks for the suggestions alec, ill see what i can do!

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    Chapter 2

    Gah! This formatting bugs me...i need tabs dammit! ok, well someone asked for more so here's chapter 2! hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! :P

    Chapter 2

    They lay together all night long, after she had prepared a makeshift tent over them, feeling too guilty over the fact that he had never stopped clutching himself to move him. His whimpers continued throughout the night and she alternated between rubbing his arm and side and trying to comfort his groin, although he curled up tighter and began crying again in fear when she did. By the morning he had finally eased up on his cramped position and relaxed ever so slightly. She took that as a good sign and climbed up over him so she could lie down facing him. She softly stroked his cheek as she met his eyes. He stared at her wide-eyed and fearful, his eyes flinching away from her but drawing back almost immediately. Finally she spoke.

    "Are you all right?" She asked softly. He whimpered pitifully and shook his head. His hands once again crossed protectively across his groin.

    "I'm sorry for hurting you, but you were going to rob me. I had to stop you." She said sternly, trying to inject just the right amount of indignation into her voice. He flinched again and ducked his head shamefully.

    "I had to..." he replied in a hoarse whisper. "I needed the money." He looked like he was about to cry and her heart went out to him, but she told herself harshly that he needed to be taught a lesson in morality.

    "You were going to rob me! You were going to take all of my money and supplies and leave me stranded out here!" She said this in a brutal tone of voice, trying to get across to him exactly what his plans would have meant for her had she not been capable of fighting him. Then suddenly a thought popped into her head. "You might even have tried to ra-pe me!"

    She knew he had thought of it when a huge blush suffused his cheeks at her pronouncement. He tried to deny it, but she could tell by his stutter that he had wanted to. She knew now he really needed to be punished and she knew just how to do it. But she didn’t want him to hate her, she needed him to see it for himself.
    "You need to be punished for what you were going to do to me." She said softly, staring into his eyes in what she hoped was a motherly way. He jerked back from her quickly and cried, "No!" but she had to squash her pity and follow through. She stood up and, grabbing him by his shirt, she set him on his feet easily. He still stood hunched over, protecting his injured testes.

    "You were going to let me die out here, and you were probably going to ra-pe me as well. Anyone else would have killed you without a second thought, isn't that right?" She asked him, trying to remain stern, but using a hand to stroke his cheek soothingly as she did. "I had the opportunity. Even after the fight, I laid with you, I protected you from the night, and I tried to help you through the pain. No one else would have done those things. You deserve to be punished, but I don't want to kill you. But I do need to make sure you would never do that again. So I'm going to punish you." She continued speaking in a voice halfway between comforting and harsh. "Will you take it like a man or do I have to treat you like a child?"

    He stiffened at this comment and sniffed his tears away. He looked her in the eye and she was gratified to see the steel in his gaze. She may have broken his will yesterday, but it was back today. "Do what you...must." he said hesitantly.

    She grabbed him by the shoulders and positioned her leg in between his, nudging his legs open. There was no doubt in his mind about what she had planned for him.

    "You were going to rob me and leave me to die. Tell me you're sorry!" She said roughly.

    He gulped and said, "I'm sorry that I was going to rob you, I didn't think about what would happen to you afterwards...I'm sorry." This last he said as he flicked his eyes up to her and gazed directly into hers. She truly believed him. Thus, she knew to make this especially hard, to cement in his mind that he could not behave this way.

    She pounded her knee up into his already damaged balls, flattening them against his pelvis, and causing him to fold up against her as what little strength he had left him. She held him up against her as he burst into harsh sobs of pain again. They stood there, harsh mistress and chastised servant, until he had quieted down again.

    She didn't stand him back up this time, knowing he would not have the strength to stand on his own. She whispered softly into his ear, "Now apologize to me that you were going to ra-pe me. By all rights, these-" she grasped his balls gently in her hand "-should be mine. So apologize for daring to use these against me, and thank me for being merciful enough to let you keep them, damaged though they are."

    He burst into tears again, he thought it was over. He cried out to her, "No please not again! I can't take it! Please don't hurt me again! I'm sorry!" But she hardened her heart against his pleas. She stroked his back tenderly and said, "Just this one more, and I promise that it will be over. You deserve this last one, especially, because of what you had planned for me. Say it."

    "I...I...deserve...this." He said haltingly, through his tears and sobs. Even with everything he had been through, he still had the capacity to fight through the pain. She was duly impressed with his fighting spirit, if not his fighting prowess. "I'm so sorry for wanting to ra-pe you. It wasn't my plan, I didn't mean to until I saw you, you're just so beautiful and I thought maybe I could..." he trailed off as he realized this might make her angrier. "I'm sorry that I wanted to...ra-pe...you. And I thank you for letting me keep my manhood. Do what you will to me." His voice was barely a whisper as he trailed off, fighting his tears, his pain, his weakness.

    She smiled at him, feeling a pride that she didn't understand well up in her chest. She drew her leg back, ready to pummel him once more. Her thoughts turned, then, to the damage she had already inflicted. How much is too much? she wondered. Maybe I should take it a little easy on him.

    No! she thought viciously. He needs a firm hand to guide him and I will be that firm hand!

    She thrust her knee back viciously into his testicles, and a more piercing and pathetic wail she had never heard in her life.

  9. #9
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    hurray part two!! I have to say I love how you combine a strangely affectionate and brutal situation into the same writing! Simply fantastic, along side the background setting of the story, simply great !

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    Yay, i have my first official fan! thank you for the praise! ill be posting chapter 3 here shortly, hope its also well received

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    I LOVE it! One of the best stories I have read in ages! I am stunned that this is the first story you have written, I hope it is the first of many! I love the fact that the main character seems reluctant to bust his balls... but you can tell she enjoys punishing him at the same time Brilliant.

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    well its not the first story i wrote, but it is the first one ive felt confident enough to release to the public! also my first fetish story lol. and tons of thanks for the praise! ill post the next chapter right after dinner, so you may wait with bated breath :P

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    Chapter 3

    Ok, heres the next chapter, not much on the bb this time tho, its more character development i guess lol. hope yall enjoy! P.S. dont hate me for my other fetishes

    Chapter 3

    That whole day they spent again cuddled under her little makeshift tent, her cooing and comforting him, he groaning and crying alternately as the pain peaked and receded every so often. By night he wasn't quite so pathetically crushed, and so she made them a quick supper, and as he sat there, shifting uncomfortably, trying to find a position that didn’t make his balls ache, she watched him, so delicate and fragile. So weak. He didn't belong out here on his own, where monsters could kill him, bandits could rob him, women could...well, do what she had done to him. He belonged with someone who could protect him, shield him from the horrible realities of life. She knew that she shouldn’t be showing such fondness for a boy who had attacked her, planned on ra-ping her. But still...she could tell he was inexperienced, that this was likely his very first foray into any kind of combat. It must be so humbling for him, to have his manhood so thoroughly taken away from him in single combat. She scooted closer to him and put an arm comfortingly around him.

    "I hope I didn't hurt you too bad...?" she said, adding a little uptilt to her words, turning it into an almost-question. He blushed brightly and shook his head no, not looking at her, concentrating on his food. She could see, however, his legs close protectively again. She sighed. She didn't want him to be afraid of her. She felt a little slighted, almost disappointed in his reactions to her, though she knew it was unsurprising considering how badly she had hurt him. She moved back away from him and sat down, wondering what to do. She watched him out of the corner of his eye and how he winced at her every move. It was like he expected her to just charge in and start beating on him again. Damn! she thought. I need to let him relax a little. She stood up suddenly and announced that she was going out to get some more firewood. She saw him stiffen and he got up as suddenly as he could, announcing, "No, I'll get it!" He started moving and then apparently found that he couldn’t do any real walking, for he sank back down, his hands between his legs as he groaned in a low voice.
    She walked up to him concerned, and asked, "Are you all right?" He nodded but she could see the sweat on his brow and the flush in his cheeks and she knew he was suffering. She patted his back soothingly. "Don't worry, I'll get the wood, you just lie back and rest." he nodded again, still clenched up and in pain. She walked away, looking back and worried that she had really hurt him too much.

    She had gathered a sufficient amount of firewood, and had returned to the edge of the camp when she saw him still where he had sank to the ground, but now he was curled up in a fetal ball of misery and he was sobbing quietly, trying to muffle his agony. She immediately dropped her bundle of wood and rushed to his side.

    "Okay, I know you're not alright, so I need to see how bad you are. I'm going to take your pants off, Okay?" She asked, with her hands already on his pants. He shook his head furiously, trying to catch his breath to tell her not to. "Stop that!" She said in a voice of steel. "You need help, and I'm the only person who can help you out here." She undid his belt and pulled his pants down, watching his big swollen and bruised testicles come into sight. Then he panicked and started struggle, pulling his pants back up, trying to fight her off. She tried to subdue him for a second, and then thought better of making him struggle. She needed him to stop now, and without hurting anyone. She frowned at what she was going to do, but she knew it had to be done. She reached back into his pants, and softly grabbed his testicles. It was masterfully done and she was proud of herself for doing it without hurting him. As soon as she had his balls in her hand, his struggles stopped and she saw his eyes grow big and fearful as he slowly drug his gaze to her. She gave him a hard piercing stare and said, "This is going to happen, and you are going to cooperate. Yes?" She gave his balls a barely perceptible squeeze and watched him wince. It bothered her more than she liked to admit to see him beaten once again.

    Without relinquishing her grip, for she was afraid of him struggling again, she pulled his pants down awkwardly. She then turned her gaze to his balls, and she almost cried out aloud at their appearance. They were black and blue, bruised rather badly, and swollen to the extreme. Though their size was normally tiny, they had swollen to the size of chicken eggs, and she could see that this was abnormal, filling his sack until it looked like a single big lump of misshapen flesh. She tenderly stroked his battered flesh, and watched his face for any sign of pain. He sighed gingerly and relaxed, letting his body go limp and his head loll back.

    She smiled. It was the first sign that he had shown that didn't make her feel like an abuser. She continued to stroke his sack, ever so gently probing him for damage. She didn't feel anything, so she just kept running her hands over it, it seemed to make him feel better, and this was the first time she had felt a guy like this, so gently, it was nice. Normally her sexual encounters were so much more...fierce. But this wasn't a sexual encounter, she reminded herself. But then again, the throbbing column of maleness that had erected in front of her eyes begged to differ on that score. She looked at it, fascinated at how it looked. It was so small, surely even less than a handful, and it was smooth and straight and hairless. It looked so...harmless. Her own experience with the male organ had led her to believe that they all were huge, ugly and hairy, good only for sex and then to be throw out of her bed. But this thing-it was absolutely adorable! It even looked tasty. She surprised herself that she wanted to kiss the tip of it, for in her culture, to lower oneself to putting ones own mouth on a male organ was the lowest of the low, fit only for cripples and foreign women who could not even fight. It was debasement of the highest level, submitting to a man's sexual desires, making oneself subservient. The thought before had always disgusted her, but here, she knew that even if she did that, she would always hold the dominant position. She moaned in the greatest sexual need of her life as she leaned forward and planted the gentlest kiss on the jutting tip of his tiny, threatless penis.

    She was unprepared for his reaction, as he groaned and thrust his hips at her, causing his penis to slid up her face. She leaned back and looked at him, startled and angry at him for his presumption, but caught herself when she saw that he was as startled as she. He gave a whine deep in his throat and closed his eyes as he humped his penis ever so gently into the open air. She could see that he was desperate for contact, but she didn't expect this from a man who had just been in such pain. Was this normal? she wondered. Maybe he needs this.

    She leaned forward again and this time engulfed his entire penis into the hot wet cavity of her mouth. Intellectually, she didn't know what to do with it, but apparently her tongue did, as it began to swirl around, tasting every nook and cranny. She moaned deeply, with his penis still in her mouth, embarrassed at her reaction, but unable to draw back. She wanted this to last forever, this moment in time, with no one around to judge her for her actions, lost in the act of giving a man pleasure, something that she had frowned upon her whole life. But it was not to be, as the young man gave a whine and grabbed her head, jabbing his penis as fully into her as he was able. She was surprised by his actions, but when he began spitting his seed into her mouth, she suddenly understood. Every fiber of her upbringing cried out to her to cast-rate him, grab his balls and rip them clean off his body, to pound them until he finally died of the pain. Yet there was a core inside of her that was proud of her accomplishment, that he grabbed her, not to show his dominance of her, but because she had driven him to lose all control of himself. And so she showed forbearance for his transgression. Also, the taste of his seed on her tongue was intoxicating and she lost herself in the flavor.

    When he had finally let go of her, she looked up at him, unsure of what to do with his seed, but when she saw that he had fainted, she swallowed it unselfconsciously, glad to not have him as a witness to her final debasement. Troubled, she grabbed her sword and walked out of the little makeshift camp, after covering her new male with a blanket. She had a lot of thinking to do, and she needed to do it without his damning influence on her.

  14. #14
    Big Supporter Alec Anaconda, A1's Avatar
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    Your plot is developing most intriguingly; I'm so pleased you’ve resisted gelding him.

    P.S. don’t hate me for my other fetishes
    Bring them on, vanilla and all, for there’s more to life than “woman kicks balls”.
    Alec Anaconda

    Please click on book covers to read extracts.


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    An excellent third part! I'm hoping he passed out at the end because the pain of cumming after she bruised his balls was too much for him

    Hopefully another instalment coming soon! Can I ask what your previous stories have been about?

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