You have to continue the story from the last comment.
I'll start...
Chapter 1: The public ownership.
Mary walked into the bar...
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You have to continue the story from the last comment.
I'll start...
Chapter 1: The public ownership.
Mary walked into the bar...
Originally Posted by eric B
... sat upon a stool, adjusted her dress to show yet more cleavage and leg.
"Yes, miss?" enquired the virile barman.
"I have a double entendre."
So the barman gave her one!
...Then a Black man, an English man and a Jewish man burst into the bar on the back of a horse....
"Get off of that mare at once, you vile bastards!" yelled Mary. "Do you know how much agony you're giving that wretched, overloaded creature?"
In the deafening silence, three unwise men glared at the diminutive female.
"Do you even care?" she whispered.
Trumpy-pants, the barman silently lowered the bar-hatch as he noted the muscle tension growing with Mary's legs.
He also noticed an American Smile, as Mary took a running jump and launched herself feet first at the evil mounted men...
The woman, who had been drinking all day, misses the men and hits the horse in the testicles, which falls to the ground in fetal position sending the three men toppling to the ground.
The English man, a BBC reporter in his spare time, interrogates the woman.
"Why did you kick that poor horse in the testicles?" asked the Englishman.
"Uh, it was collateral damage." says the woman. "I was actually going for the Black man."
At that point an Irish, Pakistani and German woman enter the pub...
It was a trans sexual horse who had the brain of a mare and the body of a stallion.
Trumpy pants leaps through the bar to confront the Irish, Pakistani and German women....
But he decides not to as he see's the police officer enter the bar
"All right you horrible bastards...your all under arrest!" said the policeman.
"Mary you're under arrest for kicking a horse in the testicles. Black man, English man and Jewish man you're all under arrest for bringing a horse into a public building. Trumpy Pants you're under arrest for serving Mary too much alcohol. Irish woman, Pakistani woman and German woman you're all under arrest for, uh, you know, stuff."
"Now..." said the policeman "are you all going to come quietly? Or am I going to have to get my truncheon out?"
“You’re not a cop!” yelled Mary, delivering a hearty slap to the pretenders cock and balls then applying a firm grip. “You can’t arrest people for ‘stuff’, there are no laws to keeps horses out of bars, and you’ve not read anybody their rights.”
The mock-cops yelps of agony were easily heard above the jeers and laughter. As other hands striped the con-cop naked, Mary used both hands for her testicular torment. Other women who had been threatened with arrest, proceeded to pinch and twist his nipples, dry-polish his cock and knuckle punch his anus.
--------------------------------------------------------------
At the bar, Elizabeth the horse sighed, “Another gallon of Best Bitter, please Trumpy.”
The shell-shock barman grunted, and started refilling the punchbowl, one pint at a time.
He moaned, “This is like filling up a Rolls-Royce with the engine running!”
“I’m on a night out with my three best mates, and I walked into this pub with a cunt between my legs.”
“OK”
“Some bitch thinks I need protecting, throws herself at my mates feet first.”
“I suppose you could have just thrown them off yourself …”
“Yes indeed. Her feet are just inches from their faces, and her cunt not far behind.”
“How could she miss?”
“How could I have grown a meat and two veg, and she have dropped down far enough to kick my brand new bollocks?”
“Magic?”
“Fucking witchcraft, more like.”
The punchbowl was full, so Trumpy-Pants pulled a pint for himself.
“I’ll tell you another strange thing, Elizabeth…”
“Go on”
“I’m still sober, but I talking to a horse. Stranger still, the horse is talking back.”
…
At that point a real policeman enters the bar...
"three pints of Peroni please barman" the real policeman says.
"A-are you on duty sir?" Trumpy Pants asks.
"I might be, what's it to you?" asks the cop...
"Are YOU on duty is the more important question. I've been waiting ten whole seconds for my Peroni. Get on with it." barks the policeman who is real.
"Yes, yes." cowers Trumpy Pants and pours the policeman 3 pints.
The policeman downs one pint of Peroni and smashes the other two on floor.
"Right! You're under arrest!" says the policeman.
"Why? Why?" cowers Trumpy Pants.
"Because you were talking to a horse...that's a crime against reason!"
"No it's not!" a voice came from the doorway...it was Robert Redford..."I whisper to horses all night. All night." Redfords voice grew softer as he went on.
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