I'm always trying to figure out and understand things. I'm someone who has a need to understand and to know.

I don't understand my femdom ********** fantasies and the fetishes and feelings that are a part of them. My femdom ********** fantasies are a part of me, they are a part of me and of who and what I am. So I have this inner need to understand my femdom ********** fantasies and to understand the fetishes and feelings that are part of them.

They are not easy to understand. What man would have fantasies about having his testicles surgically removed and his manhood destroyed, or would want that somehow, even if it is performed by a very beautiful woman? Why would a man have femdom ********** fantasies? Why do I have them? They don't seem to be "normal," Of course what really is normal? So sometimes I feel there's something wrong with me because I have them, and that's a struggle.

I have a very strong inner sense that there is something I'm searching for through these fantasies, something spiritual and even religious. I know how that sounds, but it's something I feel down inside.

What is it that I'm really searching for through these fantasies and fetishes? How do I go about finding whatever it is I'm searching for through them?

I know I've talked about this in some of my other posts here, but I wish I could understand and know. It would all be much easier to deal with and live with if I could understand and know.

Does anyone else with femdom ********** fantasies have these kinds feelings about them?