Todavia me cuesta creer esto,la madre que los parió.Originally Posted by alblp
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Todavia me cuesta creer esto,la madre que los parió.
after seeing all these naked, pussy's holding up cock and balls. My cock is hard my balls aching. I fantasize being captured by two beautiful vampires tied to a special table. My legs spread my arms. One sits on my face as I lick her pussy and she sucks my cock. She's sinks her fangs into my hard cock injecting nano bites during the blood into a sponge. So my cock stays hard and she sucks the cum out of my balls in her pussy juice gives me strength to cum for hours. Her partner sinks her fangs into my balls injecting nano bites so my balls produce,cum in buckets and they suck me four hours, drinking my nut juice. After several hours, the one sucking my balls slowly eats one I cum the whole time. Then they swap positions and the one sucking my my cock now sucks my balls while he other one sucks my cock and I lick her pussy. After couple hours the ball sucker slowly eats my other ball and I cum the whole time and then they take turns fucking me then they take turns biting a little piece of my hard cock each time they bites into my hard cock. I cum until they have eaten my balls and cock then they let me rest until the nano bites grow my cock and balls backand they start over
Its better..
Here, try this..
You say
\\\Mistress reaches up and starts playing with my dick, and when it is hard, she points at the bedpost and says fuck yourself cunt, for my pleasure, and I giggle and climb on the bed and back up to the corner post and slowly slip it in my ass and start sliding up and down on it. She watches as she talks on the phone. Finally she puts the phone down and says Janice cum and I squirt on her command into my hand. She says eat it bitch, and I lick my cum from my hands and eat it. She then points at the bedposts. and says lick clean.Oh one more call, and as she picks up the phone and calls I do as she told me to. She finishes and pissed throws the phone on the bed, and cusses. She says, Janice, come and kneel beside me, and I do and she says this couple we are doing this special show for, are very dear to me, they have helped me many times, when I was in need. So it is going to be a particularly nasty show. I have promised them their fantasies, and it will be very painful. Do you understand that, Janice, I look at her with adoring eyes and smile and say "Yes Mistress" I am yours to do with as you please you know that, giggling, and I kiss her hand and she bends and kisses the top of my head.
I say
Mistress reaches up and starts playing with my dick. And when it is hard, she points at the bedpost and says "fuck yourself cunt; for my pleasure!"
So I giggle and climb on the bed, up on the corner post and slowly slip it in my ass. Then I start sliding up and down on it.
She watches as she talks on the phone.
Finally, she puts the phone down and says Janice "Cum!!"
I squirt on her command into my hand.
She says "Eat it bitch!!"
And I lick my cum from my hands and eat it.
She then points at the bedposts. and says "Lick it clean...Oh one more call" And as she picks up the phone and calls.
I do as she told me to.
She finishes and pissed, throws the phone on the bed, and cusses.
"Janice" she says, "Come and kneel beside me"
So I do and she says "This couple we are doing this special show for are very dear to me. They have helped me many times when I was in need". THen she pauses, and saying carefully, slowely, "So it is going to be a particularly nasty show."
"I have promised them their fantasies and it will be very painful" She looks at me stairing deeply into my eyes..I feel her gaze go right through me. "Do you understand that, Janice?
I look at her with adoring eyes right back and smiling, giggling, say "Yes Mistress, I am yours to do with as you please..You know that!"
Then, I kiss her hand and she bends over and kisses the top of my head.
:-)
See..Easy as cake
M
The revision is a lot more readable for not being a solid brick, yes. Definitely better. And that was going to be lesson two: dialogue.
When two characters are talking, each person's line gets a paragraph. That paragraph can contain other sentences not being spoken, but you should never have two people saying things in the same paragraph.
So:
She asked "where are you going?"
He shouted "I don't know!" Then he ran away.
is OK.
But:
She asked "where are you going?" He shouted "I don't know!" Then he ran away
is not OK, because two different people are talking in the same paragraph.
Slavecherie100 (Janice), ideas are, of course, more important than presentation, but are a waste if unread.
The whole point of the so-called ‘Rules of Grammar’ is for your readers to understand your thoughts.
These ‘Rules’ change with time, place and target audience, but you only need to master (and remember to use) the most basic to become readable.
For example, start each sentence with a CAPITAL letter, and end with a full stop (period).
Then if you forget one of these, your readers should still know you’ve started a fresh sentence.
On this forum, you should leave a lot of blank screen, much more than for print, so that the readers’ eyes can easily follow each line of text.
Using a new line for each sentence and a blank line for change of paragraph is my preferred method.
Note. Because I write in Word 7, then paste into the message box, my posts automatically double space.
One final point; do you check the edited version of your work?
It’s very easy to misinterpret sloppy writing.
She asked "where are you going?"
He shouted "I don't know!" Then he ran away.
There are differing opinions as to the ‘Rules’.
I would edit the above as,
She asked,
“Where are you going?”
He shouted,
“I don't know!” Then he ran away.
Or
He shouted,
“I don't know!” and then ran away.
Alec, I disagree, and I believe that if you look at most published fiction or accounts of conversations you'll find a style which supports mine. That's argument by authority I know, but it's also proof that the style works- those books are readable, which means whoever formatted them must be doing something right. I would advise people to use a style they've seen used successfully in published work, regardless of whether it's my personal style, or your personal style or anyone else's.
Now, speaking for myself I find your version rather disjointed; it would leave a lot of sentence fragments left hanging in their own line.
It's also troublesome if I have the same person saying two different things in one paragraph. For example...
Bob nodded. "I don't know." He scratched his head. "It might have been on Tuesday, but I don't think so."
That's all Bob talking, and it's pretty clearly so. Now imagine doing it your way:
Bob nodded.
"I don't know."
He scratched his head.
"It might have been on Tuesday, but I don't think so."
Now, here we have a LOT of ambiguity about who says "It might have been on Tuesday." Is it Bob? Is it some entirely different, unnamed person? The passage would be formatted the same way either way.
There’s no unique set of rules to cover every situation, Strange_Fool_215, and my preferred method for forum use suits me, as I tend much longer sentences than your example.
I would write this as,
Bob stated,
"I don't know," as he nodded and scratched his head, "it might have been on Tuesday, but I don't think so."
See, two things there. One is that you're leaving "Bob stated" as a sentence fragment hanging on its own, like I said. The other is that it gets in the way of natural dialogue if I keep saying "Bob said" and "Sally said" and so on before each sentence. Usually, it's obvious who is speaking just from the context.
this is what this thread has come to? I really don't care guys I am sorry
Agree
yup I agree, Like really who cares. Private message each other.this is what this thread has come to? I really don't care guys I am sorry
I look up in the Sky & I see... What is Home land Security? Do I feel Safer knowing that, crayons are fun to Color with my Fav. is Crayola because when I go to the Store next time I need to pick up milk & Some stole my car. how can I get it back. can some one plz. Look I can see again. Reese's Peanut Butter cups are like Clean your room before I get mad. I can't Dragon end Wall Will ghost sold old mouse help goats can Jump water scared found spelling SPAM.
that is the most perfect sound literate Grammer Paragraph I've ever seen. if you can ever get close to that. then you are like a God. plz Learn from the best. or just give up already. you'll never be the best.
im sorry i bothered posting have fun you all if that is what is going to happen i just wont
can some plz translate a little bit from this :P
They are a japanese artist's cock&balls.. He didnt want to bother with sex and cut them off in a hospital on his 25th birthday(24 maybe)
He sale his cock for raising funds though he wanted to eat by himself.
Besides, he dissolved his nipple with NaOH. i dont know how to say this in english
Slavecherie100: im sorry i bothered posting have fun you all if that is what is going to happen i just wont
You, sir, have exactly to same right to post as any other person.
It’s not too hard for me to edit your last post into,
I’m sorry I bothered posting.
Have fun, you all!
If that is what is going to happen, I just won’t post.
However, few will bother mentally editing a story.
Your choice, but don’t be bullied into making that decision!
I'm not trying to bully anyone I'm just saying that this is a femdom ********** thread not a writing class I for one enjoyed the story I just got a little fed up when an entire page is dedicated to year seven basic grammer class
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