OK you're probably thinking I'm some psycho wife that is not-so secretly plotting the best way to chop off her husband's wiener. That's not the case, I just think it's utterly hilarious (and kind of genius) whenever a woman takes revenge at the genitals. Plus, it's a nice respite from all the teen shootings, baby killings and gang violence out there. Am I right, or am I right?

Apparently knife wielding wifey is the one who called the police after she snipped her spouse's manhood, and when the police arrived she said "he deserved it".

I'm sure he did.

The victim is apparently denying any sort of adultery, but word on the street is the two were headed to splitsville. So I'm guessing wifey got angry/jealous and went all Lorena Bobbitt on his ass. Err, I mean penis. I'm not saying I would ever actually perform penis removal on my husband, but what I AM saying is that I've imagined doing it. Trust me, I'm sure most people have. Just go back to that time when you were so incredibly angry at your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/hooker that you wanted to slap the teeth out of their mouth. Come on, admit it. Now, with heinous crimes like this in the mainstream media, you don't actually have to resort to physical violence, you can just read about it and have fodder for a nice little daydream.

The alleged penis hacker may be facing a life of prison as a maximum sentence if she's convicted of the crime. Is it worth it? Ehh, I'm not so sure. I wouldn't want to give up my life of freedom just for a few satisfying minutes of watching my husband's pecker get mushed up like baby food in the garbage disposal. Although I'm sure it was a beautiful site.

I just want to thank the fearless women out there like Catherine Becker (haha, SO close to pecker) and Lorena Bobbitt who do what most women only dream of doing...punishing their misbehaving and annoying men. It's crazy women like them that help keep the rest of us sane. As much as I like to joke, I would never cut off my loved one's penis. Maybe accidentally bite it...but not chop it off.

What will my preferred method of punishment be if he ever makes me that angry? Take all his money and ensure I look super hot for the rest of my life while making his voodoo doll go bald and fat...and maybe I'll even stick a needle in the genital region. Just for fun. Of course.

Here's the entire article on the peen crime:

Woman cuts off Husband's Penis

Happy reading!