
Originally Posted by
jabby
Excellent story as always MP! I especially like the fight at the end. You managed to keep the dragons looking powerful while making the humans out to be smart enough to be a credible threat. Sex scenes were great as usual too. Congrats!
If I had to criticize, I would say the ballbusting threats/references are starting to hurt the believability of the characters a little. I mean I love ballbusting, but its pretty unlikely that it would come up in conversation as much as it does. The bits are also too short to really be erotic, so it just feels a little ******.
Personally I would either save the ballbusting for some decently long scenes, add in some more sexy lines (aimed at boobs, dicks etc) to balance them out, or just go balls out and write some characters as having a testicle/ballbusting fetish.
A minor thing anyway. Personally while dragon in the dungeon is a great read, I am really looking forward to another of your ballbusting shorts. Any chance we could get a sneak preview of what the next one is about?