Hi try,

This is another good installment in your story, but shouldn't it be called "Part 4" since you previously did a "Part 3." One more housekeeping comment: If you could shorten the paragraphs, and leave a blank line between each, the story would become all the more readable.

I think your story might be one of the few that actually a good plot inside an entertaining ballbusting yarn.

Please do keep up your good work.

Regards,

poolman2