nice story
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nice story
I really appreciate the kind comments from Alec, Mythical and Poui. I mean, obviously you guys have contributed some pretty fantastic stuff over the years, whereas I spend most of my time regurgitating links to anything I can find as recompense. I'm glad that my first foray into writing seems to have been well received. Hopefully I can keep it up!
I've been working at slowly cobbling together a follow up, although it's been a bit tricky. I tend to go back over each paragraph I write with a fine-tooth comb, seeking imperfections and replacing them with more imperfections.
Anyway, here's at least a bit of a follow up to the bit with Rhaelyn and Kira. I warn you, though, this is less busting and more... uh... cuddling and awkward blowjobs. But still, more busting is certainly in the panther's future.
I would not fret over excessive proofreading, SageDC, for a fine tale is not ruined by the odd typo.
Please don’t leave it so long before the next enthralling chapter!
http://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=605272
girl with cat ears
It's been a while since the last post. MP its been a long time since I you posted a story. Anyway I don't mean to rush you or be rude but it will be nice to read one of your storys
Time for me to contribute. Here is a little something I wrote. Hope you enjoy. Please tell me what you think
Aliac was a young female cat, very pretty also. She has red fur all over her beautiful body. Her eyes are a bright green.
Her best friend is a male coyote named Heep. He had soft fur all over him. His belly was a beige color and the rest of his body was a light brown.
It is odd for the two to be friends but this is possible due to the fact that Heep loves Aliac. Aliac does not love him but enjoys him for one thing: torturing his balls.
The minute she first kneed him in his groin, she knew she would enjoy this forever.
Now Heep is coming to her house to "hang out". He knows that this might be a date or another ballbusting session with her. Last time she had almost popped his balls.
He knocked on her door.
"Come in its open." Heep entered Aliac's house.
"Hello cutie" Heep said as soon as he saw her.
"Hi Heep" Aliac replied.
"How are you doing" asked Heep trying to start a conversation instead of going straight to ballbusting. This obviously was not a date.
"I'm annoyed about some dumb hyaenas breaking my mailbox. So I invited you over to cheer me up." Answered Aliac.
"Can I please just go home instead of being here." Heep said with a shaky voice.
"No. Come on please stay." Begged Aliac.
"Ok, I'll stay." Heep said. *i hope she'll like me more* Heep thought.
The gorgeous feline locked the door then walked up to the coyote with a wicked smile. "Here goes all my anger on you" Aliac slammed her knee into Heep's furry beige testicles.
"Aaaarrrrppp!!!" Heep Squealed in agony as both of his nuts were slammed into his pelvis. "My balls!"
"Hahahahaha. I'm feeling happier already." Aliac laughed. Before Heep can protect his nuts from further abuse, Aliac started kicking his balls. Five consecutive kicks before she started laughing again. "Hahahahahaha" she stopped to let him recover.
Immediately the coyote's hands flew to his crotch to protect his nuts. He felt his balls so he new they were still there. "My balls my balls they hurt. Please stop. Please" Heep begged.
"Nope" Aliac commanded him to move his hands. He did so. Heep was on his back, so she grabbed his legs picked them up and started stomping on his balls until he begged her to stop again.
"Please stop" was all Heep could moan.
She stopped stomping and simply took her red furred foot and stepped on his nuts. She soon stopped then jumped on his gonads.
"Shit!!" Heep was startled by this. She had never done something this painful or dangerous to him before.
"Don't curse at me" Aliac said in an angry voice. She jumped on his nuts again.
"Your such a slut" Heep said in a high pitch voice.
"What did you call me" Heep asked.
"Nothing. Please stop I didn't mean it. You know I love you." Said Heep quickly.
"You still said it. Now tell your balls to enjoy my foot in them before they are gone" Aliac commanded.
"My balls? Do you want me to take my pants off?" Heep asked surprised.
"Yes. How else is my foot going to meet your balls directly." Aliac said.
Heep had never been naked in front of her. He certainly wanted to, but not so she can slam her bare foot into his puppymakers. "Really?" He asked nervously.
Aliac grabbed his pants and star to pull it of. She undid the tail strap and took his pants off. Now he was exposed. This was Aliac's first look at a males privates. But she was ready to abuse them.
For Heep though it was different. He was extremely scared and didn't know what was coming next.
"Hello. Goodbye!" Aliac said as she lifted her leg and kicked with all her force at his exposed balls until he was crying. She then stopped and said "How about we go on a date tomorrow and then we go to your place."
I'm a terrible writer so tell me the truth of what you think
Originally Posted by Jayfeathers stick
I’ve thought long and hard to find a helpful reply to your plea for comments; to be honest I hoped someone else would grasp the nettle.
I think you’re brave to post this story as you consider yourself to be “a terrible writer”.
In my humble opinion, you just need a little help with your written English and some tips on writing.
---
As an experiment, I posted your story into Word 2007, and then ran a spelling and grammar check.
This found the problems with knew/new, of/off, your/you’re and males/male’s etc.
It also found other problems, but without suggesting corrections.
---
You can only find some mistakes by carefully reading what you have written. I don’t know of any automatic method of finding the error in,
Aliac grabbed his pants and star to pull...
Some writers use software readers to listen to their final draft.
---
Most of your story is a conversation; might I suggest you study how others write these in novels or eBooks.
When only two are talking, you can omit many of the “he said” and “she said”.
---
I’ve stated many times that ideas are more important than anything else, and think you could develop this plot into an interesting story if you wish to expend the time and effort.
This was probably my last writing for a while. I just wrote this in about 5 minutes. I also didn't proof read. Thanks for being honest
This was probably my last writing for a while. I just wrote this in about 5 minutes. I also didn't proof read. Thanks for being honest
Perhaps I should have been less understanding and much blunter.
Five minutes is a grossly inadequate time to produce a story of this size!
If you can’t be arsed reading your ramblings, why should anyone else bother?
Read through your story again carefully.
Make changes where needed.
and take your time.
When you are happy with your story then post it again and see what happens.
I'll rephrase what Alec said in to maybe slightly more encouraging terms.
Your ideas are good and there is potential there for a good story. However, you need to work on your style quite considerably. Conversation can be tricky to write as you show. Maybe write it from the perspective of one of the characters. Rather than saying 'he said, she said' you can express views and thoughts of that character and it is usually obvious who is doing the talking so you can make the story flow better.
Don't get too dispirited if the comments aren't good at first, it takes time to be able to write well but you have good ideas which is always a good start.
Im missing seeing some furry balls being busted hehe
x
[/QUOTE]Don't get too dispirited if the comments aren't good at first, it takes time to be able to write well but you have good ideas which is always a good start.[/QUOTE]
I know I asked for exactly what people think even if its bad. I am a person who doesn't enjoy writing that much but I tried.
Thanks. I think I messed up quoting this sorry
A few sequential pics by an artist on Fur Affinity. All F/M.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9180817/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9199608/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9199617/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9207965/
Relevant:
I really enjoyed this site. Has a couple of pics too.
http://furryballbusting.blogspot.gr/...08c0126e50ea44
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